Poem Winters beauty What do you think.?

Question

Winters glimmers as the cold ice shimmers

Earlier morning's coming down'animals sleeping all around.

While my furry friends disappear

I'll see them in the another year.

Spring will come before to long

smelling the clean sweet air 'makes me so happy and calm.

I won't miss the red hot sun

as winters are so wonderful and fun.

Answer 1

honestly? not too good.

work on it... rephrase and reword after reading it aloud to yourself.. you'll find statements that are out of place, awkward and unorginial.

but with some more work, i could see this being a great piece!

Answer 2

I love anything with animals and nature in it.I love furry friends. .I have two rabbits in my yard. I call them Hoss and chocolate. They have cute white tails. I have two squirrels also. I call them Shirley and Sherlock.  I had three broods of American Robins. I named all of them,

Your poem is beautiful. Anytime a poem can take you somewhere else for a short while then you have done a good job.  You are such a nice person. It sounds like it came right from your heart. Your son is a very lucky boy. I hope he is doing better. Good Luck. If you ever need any help. Just write.  

Edit: Thanks Ma. It`s good people like Cami and you that makes me want to wake up every morning and still come on to Y&A.. Thanks

Answer 3

Judith's answer shows the support and encouragement

we look for here on this site.

Sure it may need some "fixes" here and there

but anything from the heart expressed with such sweetness

and love for a son should be seen for what it is.

ma