Poem...Your Thoughts?

Question

You don’t see

The scars and tears,

Spread across these broken years.

You don’t know

This guilty pain,

And every day, it feels the same.

You don’t hear

The heated fights,

A life made up of sleepless nights.

You don’t watch

The hateful grief,

Stirring softly underneath.

My best friends,

And you see me

As a lonely stranger.

Answer 1

WOW.......... this is possibly the most beatiful thing i have read sine leaving colledge - if i was one of a weaker mind i might think i would shed a tear. ps. can i have best answer

Answer 2

Good!

Answer 3

I really liked that, very deep.

Answer 4

Very, very, good.

Keep writing.  

Answer 5

Your last line doesnt ryhme but thats still really good... You can go onto Poetry.com and publish it if you want... : b  Its really good.

Answer 6

Got me there huh. two thumbs up for you.

Answer 7

I loved it until the last phrase. Your pattern of (really nice) rhyming words should continue to the very end of the poem. If I were a publisher and you fixed the last phrase, I'd publish this in an instant. You really have talent!  

Answer 8

Love the intense feelings it puts out.I give it a 10 and a star for you.

Answer 9

It's...okay. They form is good. Word choice is fine.

I just don't really care for the 'angsty teen' sound of it.

Just something I don't enjoy personally.

Answer 10

Pretty good. Rather depressing though. Sorry if this is you you are writing about.  

Answer 11

quit while your ahead

Answer 12

You have an excellent feel for rhythm. This one sings, right up until the last stanza, which is OK. I change gears all the time, expecting the reader to somehow be inside my head. This piece really doesn't need those last three lines. Don't try to explain yourself. Let the readers figure it out on their own. Overall, a very well written poem. TD

Answer 13

This is a really nice poem! It's full of emotion and it's so honest! The non-rhyming last line gives it a really nice, honest feel :)  Definitely keep this up! It's not everyone that can write poetry.  I'm waiting to read your next poem!

Good luck! :)

Answer 14

that is really good!

Answer 15

It is a fitting way to express your fellings in poetry. I love poetry and I, after having three strokes, I could write portry' rather then read ordinary writing. This happened twenty two years ago. Sir Carl Chinn was pubished a book called, ' The Birmingham Irish' Making Our Mark and he enviting people to write in' about there experiences in England, so I wrote a poem called ' The Counry Boy ' and Sir Carl had published in his book. It was all through Sir Carl Chinn that this poem was published.

Perhaps I was luckey that he found something appealing in it but according to the published on your poem ( me included ) they liked it.  .

It is a sad poem and a very moving poem.

Answer 16

It tugs at the heart strings.

Many have those feelings,

or have had them.

The poem is very good.

"Rate My Poem" by going here:http://www.poetry.com/voteforme/poemvote...

Answer 17

WOAH!

Amazing! It's good because it could tell several stories.

very nice. :)

Answer 18

Beautiful!

You could change the last a little like,

My best friends

who can not see

The lonesome stranger

inside of me.

I don't know but, I still think it is very sad but beautiful.