Poem about snowboarding is it good? if not, give me some tips please :)?

Question

As I look down

At the vertical steep slope

I see the whole world below me

The crystal clear white snow gleaming

The wind whispers sweet melodies

My adrenaline begins pumping

And there’s nothing worth stopping

This ride of a lifetime

I soar down the vertical drop

A sense of weightlessness overcomes me

The crisp air sliding past my face as I

Begin to accelerate

I feel excitement as I am speeding past

The trees, not having enough

Time to enjoy their natural beauty

I am carefree and strong

Snowboarding has never done me wrong

And we are dancing along

As one on this mountain

My mind becomes clear

There is nothing to fear

Of reaching this snow heaven

I look up to the horizon and this

Is the only place I want to be

This is my true love and it

Completes me

People may not believe me

But this has become a part of me,

A part of everything that is dear to me

Answer 1

i like it a lot. here's one i wrote last season

I never thought I would get back up

To glide down these hills once more.

But I always knew i would come back

To escape my roller-coaster life,

Atop this perfect board

Why that can not be a sport,

Feet glued to a two by four.

It is certainly not a sport I remark

To those who just dont understand.

This is my life. Atop this perfect board

Answer 2

in my opinion i don't think anyone can tell you how to change your own poem.. its a good poem and it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks because its all about how YOU feel about snowboarding, and no one else =)

Answer 3

its good

Answer 4

I think it is really great! However if you wanted to change it a bit you could try making every second line rhyme or something like that to make it a more enjoyable read

Answer 5

It made me want to hit A Basin or Breck.  I think it's good, but could use a little streamlining to be even better.  For instance I wouldn't use "vertical" twice (Vertical slope & Vertical drop).  I definitely liked the feeling I received from reading your conveyence.