Poem feedback please?

Question

Please send more then "Nice!" or "That sucks!"

I look forward,

to the blurred, misty road

I look backwards,

to the path crowded

with people

and things.

All those things

are pushing me to advance

all those people

are telling me what I should do

but I don't want to listen,

I want to choose on my own.

I want to choose what I wear

without people telling me I should be more

pretty or more fashionable or more

like them.

I want to choose what I do

without people telling me I should be more

sensible or more reasonable or more

like them.

I want to be

myself

but the expectation,

it's pushing me forward,

every time I make a change

I'm moving so fast

It's left behind

another memory

snagged on a bramble

caught in time.

Answer 1

Nice!

jk

The poem is good but you have to kinda rephrase some words. Like the word things, it didn't fit all that well into the poem, at least to me. But it's a good poem, and very narrative, keep up the work.

Answer 2

I like the placement of your phrases in the bits about being more this, that, and like them.

In the first stanza, I'd go with just "back" instead of "backwards." Merely a personal preference.

Answer 3

Hi Me this is Jamz. I think it is good just dont drag it out so mush shorten it up a bit and it should be fine.

oh you should turn on your e-mail on so people can e-mail you through yahoo answers.

Answer 4

WOW!!!! IT'S SOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!! I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE WRITE A POEM LIKE THAT!!!!! IT SOUNDS SOOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!