Poem in search of critique?

Question

Child of moonlight evermore

Born of love, of life, of lore

Touched by the sun, won't come undone

Majesty of innocence, he is the one

Happiness and death thereof

Had hardened the heart and burned the soul

Freedom fell and lost control

And hope was left to cling to love

When death burns down the painted halls

Of Light so bright, so beautiful

Then life becomes so pitiful

And Dark begins to haunt these walls

Of course you couldn't make it through

The fall of truth, the rise of lies

The bible sighs, the prophet dies

And that dark was always death to you

Child of moonlight nevermore

For his days had passed afore

Bury him deep here under me

So the world his pain should feel

Answer 1

its okay. i lked it tho. but i dont really get what the topic is. it seems like ur talin bout darkness an deep dark stuff

Answer 2

That is fantastic. That is. Fantastic. You're a born poet, Cobra's Tongue.

Answer 3

Very nice read, my favorite part where I thought the flow was so beautiful was this part:

Of course you couldn't make it through

The fall of truth, the rise of lies

The bible sighs, the prophet dies

And that dark was always death to you

It was all so very good, for some reason just like the flow of the above verse!  Enjoyed your poetry, thanks for sharing!!  Cheers

Answer 4

Fabulous, not the strongest closing line though.