Question:

Poem....my best friends kemo...critique please!?

by  |  earlier

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I threw a party just the other night,

It consisted of way to many goodbye's

My eye's they burned from the brightest moon,

And I slept alone for a year or so.

You think I would be used to it,

You see this worlds got me in a spin,

Gravity is just here to pull me down

And it's doing it way to well.

My best friend has a cancer in his lungs,

So I'll continue smoking to join him,

His dying more and more each day,

The kemo's rotting away our friendship.

I love the fact that I am going to die,

I hate the fact I just don't now when,

Cause I have some many memories,

I don't want to leave one behind.

I want to have a daughter and one son,

So they can keep my memories going on,

but the way it's looking today,

Means I wont have anything left to say.

As an hour flouds 60 minutes,

I learn what it means to be alive,

My best friend just died, what a tragedy,

I'll burn him and scatter his ashes in the sea.

I drink alot and I do some drugs,

But it's not enough to kill me...yet,

I guess that's what my best friend thought,

I guess I should now learn the lesson his death has taught.

I will live long and die old,

But right now I'm looking like dying young,

At 19 you think I would be used to the spin,

But Gravity is just here to pull me down.

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2 ANSWERS


  1. Great job, I really enjoyed it. The rhythm really had me going.

    You should really submit it to http://www.papertank.com and see what they think. I bet you could get a high rating for it on there!


  2. very very deep,but i really liked it,i have a 'similar' one,http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?... pls can u see it and comment

    thanks and amazing JOB! i would like ot see more of your poems

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