Question:

Poem?????????????????????

by  |  earlier

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When I wake up in the morning

There’s no one in bed next to me

No one to love

No face for my hands to hold

No lips for me to kiss

No cheeks for me to pinch

No neck for me to bite

No chest for my head to rest

No abs for me to taste

No one for me to touch

No one for my arms to hold

No one to hold me

No one to say

I love you

It started out as free verse, but then it became this repetition thing. Any feedback welcome :-)

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11 ANSWERS


  1. It's good.  I feel the same way sometimes.  (Without the ab tasting though)


  2. aww thats so cute.. i just broke up with my boyfriend and thats exactly how i feel right now. you sound like yuou just lost someone too?

  3. awe young love....

    your time will come young one...be patient....

    no, poem was good...

    no it was really good....

    no it was really really good....

  4. It's pretty good! But the "No abs for me to taste"

    kinda  weirded me out. But other than that, it's good. ^^

  5. awww.

    you sound sad :(

    but its a good poem


  6. Aw, I love it!

    It sounds like how I feel right now

    :[

    But I think it's really good.

  7. I thought I answered this  a while back

    I honestly think it is a touching poem, like the commericial on "What if you couldn't marry the person you love"

    Well describing on how you mention the physical feature, but ever realize that the person you are to love is something from the heart and soul

  8. Sounds shallow and poorly conceived. You likely can do better than that.

  9. I like it...

  10. Umm it's kind of repetitive and has no rhythm.

  11. The repetition of the first word at the start of each sentence is a resource in literature but I don't remember the name. I like the verses

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