Poem: "The Darkness Awaits" - Could you please take a look at this new poem?

Question

“The Darkness Awaits”

What is the point of conception

When we’re, all of us, destined to die

What’s the purpose of life without meaning

Put up walls and we hide behind lies

Without! being harsh and foreboding

But what if there’s no life after Earth?

Wouldn’t, we, be better off knowing

That the end, begins, with our birth

Illusion, denial is so usual

Its become almost part of our conscience

An hereditary deceit without foundation

One that rules over societies nonsense

It is built all on fear, not understanding

Of what really comes from our demise

Arrogance and self-preservation

Prevents us from seeing the lies

“The End is Nigh” says the Prophet

But what end are we destined to see

It’s the same for us all, no pretending

The darkness is what waits for me

What is the point of conception

When we’re all going to die in the end

No difference was made from existence

Only memories that fade like the wind

Silver Tongue

(Copyright © Geoffrey Brett - 20/08/2008)

Answer 1

brilliant! you should be proud of this it speaks to all that are philosophers in mind

Answer 2

Very good have a star x

Answer 3

I can't get past the polemic and actually imagine this as poetry.

I think it is an essay written in stanzas.

Answer 4

its nice to see some optimism.. i hate feeling bad. feeling good is much better

Answer 5

And the first thing I thought of, was to rearrange this poem into a sonnet...wouldn't be hard to do at all...you have the core meaning already...

Think about it...good to go!

Answer 6

this is one of the best poems I have ever read, I am an atheist and can unserstand where the poem takes you. really good job

Answer 7

Sounds great to me, you need to post it....

Answer 8

Very good,it makes you think!

Answer 9

Very nice.  We may chafe a bit when we understand our ultimate fate, but in the end we will accept it and nature will win out.

But we can still live and love and create and try to make our world a better place.

I often wonder if anyone will remember me 100 years from now.  It won't really matter, but it's worth the thought, isn't it?

Answer 10

Of course, I have a very different philosophy, my Silver Tongue Friend, but long ago we decided that it was all right to disagree.  Since I know you have full knowledge of your life in this existence and the joy you share with Tudor Rose, it is difficult for me to critique.

This line, as written, throws me:

Without! being harsh and foreboding

for I wonder what is the purpose of the exclamation mark is beside Without.

One of the excellent lines is this: Only memories that fade like the wind --- that is the universality which will give the poem longevity.

The poem is excellent; the occasional rhyme blends well with the poem so that it is not written to a format, but for content.

I'll have to write one "Here Comes the Light" for our personal discussions. :-)

T.