Question:

Poem that I had written, what do you all think? Criticism welcome.?

by  |  earlier

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I have arrived on golden shores

bliss is a safe bet from h**l,

all these lights have given me something

to ponder

as I float down to give you one last glimpse

of ecstasy.

I'm seeing everything at once

everything has crashed into one,

not as gracefully as I hoped it would be,

the two sides are bickering

and frankly, it's irritating.

Standing on this shore,

the sun is setting orange and red,

purple skies blowing gentle breezes

caressing me

and you.

All things imaginable have been stripped away,

what a gleeful shining dancing parade

of long-haired beings

casting back their hearts to sing to the Dawn

in primal promising worship,

I worship with them.

I'm seeing things anew,

and you I see most of all,

your eyes hold a new purpose

one I hadn't foreseen.

They hide contempt,

they hide fear,

they hide your deepest fears and thoughts,

and I can see them all.

I've become numb,

these sensations won't stop crashing,

I can't seem to keep step

with the rest of society,

I seem to have lost my grip.

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2 ANSWERS


  1. YH- I personally like this the most of your writings I've seen. It comes from a place that I am very familiar with. Just curious, was this an easy piece to write?  ****


  2. Sounds like a good trip to me...

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