Poem that needs criticizing ?

Question

I walk these streets alone

Watching Waiting Listening

Watching the cars go by

Waiting for something to make me wanna live

Listening for something in the distance

I lie in bed,eyes closed

Watching my life through a different perspective

Waiting for something to free me

Listening to the arguments of others

I have gotten tired of doing nothing.

Tired of living in a world full of angst and depression.

I will not let my life go to waste.

I will look beyond the fighting to a world that I know is better.

I will overlook all the flaws in life,there is no reason to be stuck.

I will fight for a life that will overcome anything and everything.

For now I have seen the light that has set me free.

That has allowed me to see the greater in everything.

Why only see life in the dark when there is so much good out there

I have found a reason to live a reason to go on.

There is no reason for my suffering when so many others need help.

I have found my purpose so now I must share it with the world.

Answer 1

its like you were telling me a story:

TO ME: there was a girl who is alone and yeah, watching as the cars go by.. She lay in her bed and think what would it look like if she is not like that.. And she just realized that her life was useless and tired of doing nothing about her life.. And then she learns how to be strong, fight and she realized that she was about to change her life and found out what is her purpose in her life.. and that is --- TO LIVE..

is that right??=)

Answer 2

To me its a little depressing at first but also very good - i liked the part where it said "I have found a reason to live a reason to go on" - good job keep up the good work i'm sure you will get better each time :)

Answer 3

It's a bit depressing at first, as they've said but then it gets very inspirational. It's something cutesy yet emotional. Great poem, though. There are plenty of poetry contest you can enter that I'm sure would pay attention to a poem like that. :)