Poem what do you think?

Question

you can try to fix what you think i should

It’s circling back and forth in my head

Like the hands on the clock that’s hanging on my wall

Ticking slowly by the second as I gradually wait to fall

Every night having a constant battle debating everything I ever said

Trying to assure myself no regrets

But can anyone honestly say they’ve never had regrets?

Then I hear your voice that tells me not to fret

Words cannot describe such a pleasant sound

Because no words to describe can ever be found

It’s the only thing that pauses the ticking of the clock

And it soothes me for awhile, and my worries become still as a rock

Then with a gust of wind the persistent thoughts come back

So many at once, they go on for miles

And there are these secrets I keep locked up inside

Hoping someone would care to find

To seek my heart inside this cave I call a chest

But I don’t want anyone or everyone to uncover and look at what I hide

I just want you; it’s you I have in mind

You’re the reason I debate everything I say

Cause I never know if what I say comes out right

I’m always trying to find a way to make you smile, laugh to make you think, to make you chase me and say I’m the only one you have in sight.

Because of you I have these insisting thoughts I hide and hold on to so tight

But yet I’m still laced with doubt

Oh look what you’ve done; it’s like this day and day out

I wish you knew you’re the reason I can’t sleep tonight.

Answer 1

I think your poem is fantastic! Several parts are my favorites:

",,,thoughts come back

So many at once, they go on for miles..."

and

" This cave I call a chest..."

Just beautiful.

Respectfully, I think that insistant thoughts would sound better than insisting thoughts.

You need to continue to write poetry. This is well done.

Thank you for sharing this with everyone.

Answer 2

amazing I really liked it:)

Answer 3

good

Answer 4

its ok but make the lines smaller maybe

Answer 5

That is very good! Great Job and keep writing!

I write alot of poems too!