Poetry: What do you think of THE THIN RED LINE?

Question

Thin Red Line

by Victoria Tarrani

(© 99.07.15)

Shadows

of a gentler time

before we crossed

the thin red line

dividing man

from natural beast

and healthy soul

from one diseased--

wounded soldiers

carried home

too many left

to die alone--

Shadows, cast

your darkening light

bury the red skies of this day

beneath the cold black night.

~~~~~~~~~

Answer 1

I read this with Cat, she thought it might help me, and it did. Your poems are beautiful.  

Answer 2

is it inspired from the movie of the same name? i like the description in your poetry, though!

Answer 3

Great poem, the shape looks a lot like the butt of the rifle I feel.

Answer 4

There you are T....Tough stuff... Those who do die, those who don't cry....

Answer 5

The heart ache that comes from war seems so high a price for the so called freedom we struggle for, especially when those who risk their life for us, come home to a country that's been sold to the highest bidder. Usually to the people we were fighting. Your poem has good rhythm and strong meaning,  Keep writing &Thanks for sharing.

Answer 6

In the battle of good against evil, Tori delivers a T-Bomb!

Right on the intended target with only minor collateral damage...Ta Dah!

She's one of the best here.

Answer 7

its straight a lil sad tho

Answer 8

excellent!! so sad but doesnt seem to be with the style of writing.

Answer 9

It's alright. Something about the end doesn't flow though.

Answer 10

I like the shape of the boot. I haven't studied much poetry but it reminds me of the war poems I studied for my gcse english. The only thing I can see wrong with this poem is I think you could come up with a better rhyme for beast than diseased. Maybe deceased? Other than that I like it:)

Answer 11

eh...it's okay

Answer 12

It's good when you can fit words to your emotions, whether it's in writing or speaking. I'm no expert on poetry, but I think you have a gift for it, a real knack for expressing what's on your heart and mind. I'm sorry war is so upsetting for you and that your uncle was sent to fight. The memories from before war and every pleasant one created after a soldier's return are even more precious once that person is back home safe with his (or her) family. Sadly many soldiers are left to die. That's much worse than being killed instantly. I believe war can change a person, usually not in a positive way. How did the war effect your uncle? Is it something that still bothers him to this day?

Did you make this poem a boot on purpose?

God bless you and your family. :o)

Answer 13

Tori, I have the greatest admiration for any who have served and particularly for those whose service included grave risks.

I too have served, with far less sacrifice and risk than your uncle, but I especially appreciate and admire those like him who put everything on the line for little children like I was at the time.

It's a nice poem.  I can't say anything bad about it.  Or about people like your uncle.  You and I have what we have because of the sacrifices by people like him--and several of my uncles and people they knew.  God bless him and his memory.

Answer 14

Very sad and very good.  Thanks for sharing.