Poetry or what???????????????????

Question

Is their anybody out there,

Is their anybody who can here my prayer,

I'm so alone and cold in my mind,

i'm lying here in this room and the gloom hits me like a sonic boom

so where do i go from here

dissapear

'ive lived my life in the stratosphere

on cloud nine

with a bottle of wine.

i'n my mind,

i can't find

any peace of any kind.

so where do i go from here

i'n my head,

i feel dead,

words unseen i should have said.

so where do i go from here

in my dreams

i have schemes,

to live beyond my means

so where do i go from here

Answer 1

i would give you 2nd place

Answer 2

It sounds like a question and a prayer. I have been there too. The answer is to talk to God and visit your local Christian Church.

Answer 3

DUDE that's pretty freaking good!

like, seriously, there are only a few problems.  like, grammar and flowing.

EXAMPLE.  in the first stanza, you use "their" instead of "there" and "here" instead of "hear."

plus, in the stanza where it goes "in my head, i feel dead..." it seems kind of stilted.  maybe "in my head / i'm feeling dead." or something, it just seems to miss a beat there somewhere.

also, the almost last stanza, "in my dreams..." the rhyme seems kind of forced.  i was thinking maybe you could make it, "beneath the seems, i hope and dream, to live beyond my means." or something, i dunno.  scheme just didn't seem to fit.

but i really like the poem, seriously, great job =]

Answer 4

Hi Matthew B,

Try putting it here: http://www.poetry.com

Then  see what others think-if it's the best you get a notice-printed. Needs a little grammar fixing though. Giving up the drinking, just remember theirs a higher power &  pray.  Otherwise I'd have to say quite good but that my opinion. Have a good night. :0)

Additional Details: my oldest brother writes poetry @ the above web site. You can  send to country singers some pay & mention the authors then the whole world would hear it.