Poetry rating?

Question

I normally do ryhming poetry but I occasionly free flow especially when in a position of being hurt by something. I thought I would put it out there and see what people thought.

"Forgotten"

A number

A blank

A space

A stranger

To you

My name

My face

DOESN”T REGISTER

A Shadow

A bug

An annoyance

Your face

It strays

My face

I guess

I DON’T MATTER

My place

The corner

Displaced

My feelings

It’s fuzzy

My face

My words

FALL LOUDER

Try harder

My lines

My expressions

My feelings

Forgotten

I guess

It’s easy

TO NOT REMEMBER

I let out

I emote

I scream

All inside

It’s hurting

My place

My trust

IS SHATTERED

I thought

Things changed

Again

I’m mistaken

Over thinking

My position

I will

ALWAYS BE FORGOTTEN

Answer 1

thats really good!

Answer 2

I really liked the quick cadence of this poem. Based on how you structured it, you may want to consider breaking the last line into three one word capitalized lines to punch them more.

ALWAYS

BE

FORGOTTEN

very nice.

Answer 3

i think its really good for a fast paced flow...

know what i mean?

i like it.

Answer 4

Its really great. I actually think it's one of the best poems I've ever read.

Answer 5

that's a work of art right there!!

great job :)

Answer 6

Yo thats hot!! no doubt about it

you got talent take that and use it..take advantage of it..

Me being a DJ ..i know what hot from not

and i was reading your poem and got the vive right away

got the feeling,i was abe to see what you were tryn to put out there..and for rapper/lyricist thats hard to do sometimes but thats really good ...props to you

Answer 7

Whoa.

Best poem I have read on Yahoo ! Answers,  for a long time.

It flowed so well, no words were misplaced and there was such a sence of emotion in your words. This could easily be published.

I do highly suggest sending it into the art house collection or the like, local newspaper. That is, if you are not to private about it.

Loved it, really. exellent job.

:]

Aimee.