Poll - Wedding receptions: for the guests or the bride and groom??

Question

Just a poll to see whether you think that the wedding reception should:

A. Be about the guests. The bride and groom should do whatever they can to show them a good time.

or

B. Be about the bride and groom. There should be food, music, and decor that reflect on their personalities.

- I am wondering because I have always thought (and still believe) that the wedding reception is a party that is all about the couple. I have never, until here on Answers, heard that it was about the guests. I think that you are entering the couple's imagination...every party is different. I feel that if it was about making the guests comfortable, it would no longer be a celebration for the couple and, more than likely, most receptions would look the same.

Answer 1

Dear, if someone else is paying for the wedding, the bride and groom are the guests of honor.

If the bride and groom are paying, then they are the hosts. If they delegate some of those duties of a host to someone else, then that is fine.

The guests are always the most important part of any celebration. They need to be shown a good time. They are so important to a wedding, they serve as witnesses. Often the wedding officiant charges them with the responsibility of seeing to it that the bride and groom stay together.

So, it is the bride and groom's duty to speak to each guest, and thank them for coming. It is the host's duty to make sure everyone is comfortable, and having a good time. The bride and groom greet each guest in the reception line, and make the rounds at the reception to make contact with everyone.

You are right, the bride and groom do use their imagination, to try to make the event special and personal, make it a little different if they want. And the whole purpose for anyone to be there is the marriage celebration. And yes the couple  does get special treatment.

But the guests get treated special, too. After all they have put their lives on hold to attend, probably spent a fortune on gifts for all of the wedding events, bought special clothing for all of them, incurred costs for transportation, hotel rooms, babysitters.  

Politeness and manners wise, the guests are treated special. Really, it is all about them. Why else have a reception? It is so others can help the bride and groom celebrate.

Answer 2

I think it is definitely a celebration that is about the bride and groom. However, you inviting guests to celebrate, therefore, make sure they are comfortable, fed, etc. There is no set way in how to go about that... hence the many different types of receptions.

Answer 3

C - both of the above!

Basically, it's the bride and groom making it what represents them and their love and relationship, while also keeping in mind that the guests are there to celebrate with them, so to do things that everyone will enjoy.

Answer 4

Both! I think the bride and groom should have their reception reflect who they are but should also try to make the guests as comfortable as possible.

Answer 5

Most receptions are very much the same.  

but I think, in the end, the wedding is a combination of A and B.

While certain aspects are about the bride & groom - - food selection, signature cocktails, music played, decor/centerpieces - - the reception really should be about the guests comfort.

I love hard rock and heavy metal.  While one or two of my guests might enjoy that like I do, my fiance doesn't and the majority of guests won't.  SO I had to select two or three "must have" songs that are on the mellower side so I can have a little of what I like without getting on the guests or my fiance's nerves.

As for food, you've got to take your vegetarian guests into consideration and give them an option - thats all about guest comfort.

Answer 6

I agree with a bit of both!  Sure, let the wedding reflect who you are, as long as its not like the person who said they were at a rock 'n roll wedding where half the guests left cause they were a much older generation.  Don't get me wrong...have songs & entertainment you both like, but equally balance it out with songs and entertainment others (the majority) might very well appreciate.  Also, do a balance with the food as well.  Its ALL about the BALANCE baby!!!!  Congrats and good luck!!

Answer 7

Definitely B. It's supposed to be a reflection of them. The guests are there to celebrate the couple, not to have a party for themselves.

Answer 8

It is about the bride and groom, but they could think about their guests as far as the planning... such as the music and food.  Things like that, but the bride and groom pay the bill... it's their wedding... it's their night.

Answer 9

i would say a little about both but mostly b you should make sure they have a good time but celebrating you wedding should be the main goal  

Answer 10

It's about the guests - you as a couple are hosting the guests to a celebration - but that also includes the part from your "B" section - because the food, music and drink are all there for your guests, and of course can reflect your personalities.

Answer 11

I would go with B. The wedding reception is supposed to be a glimpse into the bride and groom's world for the evening- if they are avid salsa dancers and sushi lovers , their reception should reflect this... although not everyone cares for up tempo tunes, it is what the couple wants to share with their guests. Guests should always be considered- adequate amounts of food, drink and seating- however the focus should be the couple- and I like how you say most receptions would look the same because look at every hotel and banquet hall..they most certainly do! I'm all for being unique and over the top different!

Answer 12

I think it should be about the couple but.. but you should make sure that the guest have a good time as well!!

Answer 13

it's your day and it's all about the two of you!! it should defiantly reflect on the two you you and i bet you and your partner had an argument about this and you are trying to prove him wrong hehe i would do that too! My husband was on my side though and said s***w them, they are invited to our day and if they don't want to come celebrate our jounrey than stay home!! lol it's true though!! you hopefully only get married once so do what YOU want!!

Answer 14

Sorry, but I have to say both.  Now before you go giving me a thumbs down...let me put it this way.

A reception is:

~ a party for guests that have come to the wedding

~ with the BRIDE AND GROOM as the guests of honor!

So....I'm sorry, it does have to be both.

NOW....I totally agree that many (mostly brides and their families) sometimes go way overboard.  But....that is on the bride's part....not on any part regarding the guests.

What do I like:

~ a small chat with the bride and groom!!  That is it!  And, I posted that once on an answer when someone asked "what do you expect at a reception."  That was my answer....a chat with the bride and groom.  That is it!

The rest...it's all fluff.  I could care less if it's chicken or steak; teal napkins or white; chair covers or a folding chair; bridesmaids dresses that match the groomsmen's ties.  

I believe that brides (again, mostly brides) get too caught up in all the details.  I do believe a reception SHOULD reflect the couples choices of food, music, and decor!  I am all about that....but don't go overboard, as you said worrying about someone's tastes, likes and dislikes.

Answer 15

The reception should be about the guests.  The only difference is that the bridal couple are the guests of honor.  The party decor should certainly reflect the couple's preferences. However, what sense, for instance, does it make to invite a whole host of older folks and then have a rock band for dancing?  I went to a wedding like that. About half of us left after the first song.  Everybody was having a good time before all the noise started.  They had 200 guests, so I'm sure having 100 left must have been just exciting for them. More dance floor space, right?  NOT.  Weddings used to be planned by the bride's parents and they HOSTED it.  Your guests are the reason you even have this party - to share in the celebration.  

Answer 16

It is absolutely about the couple, after all it is a celebration of their union.  

Answer 17

Why can't it be both.

A party that makes the guest feel comfortable BUT ALSO reflects the personality.

Your party should be making your guests comfortable and showing them a good time - in your world.

Answer 18

Definitely B. I don't understand how it could be about guest its the bride and groom's big day!

Answer 19

Its about the guests!!!  If it were about the couple they would get married in private with just thier families.  Nothing is more offensive than having people show up at a wedding, especially if they came in from out of town, and have a crummy time.  The food should be good and plentyfull, you don't have to be super fancy, but make sure everybody can go back for seconds.  If you serve alcohol, if you can't do open bar, give out drink tickets.  People should not have to pull out cash at a wedding.

I worked in the wedding industry, paying my way through school, and I am getting married in two weeks.  Trust me, I have made every concideration for the guests.  Its not about what I want and I could almost care less about what my fiance wants.  I have planned my wedding to give my friends and her family the best possible time on the budget we have.  

Answer 20

I think its actually a little of both. I think it should show their personalities (i agree, ultimately its about the couple) but it should also show the guest an appreciation for the impact they have had in the couples life. I think they should like try to make it fun but still reflect their personalities.