Question:

Poll: would you have a right to be upset?

by  |  earlier

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yes or no questions and no attitude, pls. i don't need it.

i am looking for yes or no answers given the following circumstances:

1. someone of the opposite gender to your SO came over, there was much drinking and heavy flirting between your SO and the guest.

2. the guest was so inebriated they required an escort home.

3. circumstances required your SO to be the escort to walk them home. s*x ensued.

4. big drama, big drama, forgiveness, moved on.

5. months later, your SO indicates they enjoyed the experience and wouldn't mind a repeat. big drama, your SO recants, was just trying to get your goat.

6. months later, your SO volunteers to deliver something to the guest's home, which is in the immediate vicinity. you're advised that upon their immediate return, there will be a family trip to the local playground, have the children ready.

7. half an hour later, the children are getting restive and complaining. you try to take them out, figuring SO can come over whenever, but the sun is too hot that nobody wants to walk anywhere and SO has the keys to the car. everybody returns home and more waiting.

8. 20min later, you go to the guest's home. the door is normally unlocked when they're home, but it's locked now. you knock. there is an extended pauses, some quiet conversation, another pause, then the guest answers the door in a condition more commonly associated with the term "just tumbled". as far as can be determined, they're naked underneath what little they're wearing.

9. you ask if SO is still there and there's a pause, they look down the hall (to the bedrooms) then "uh, yeah! in the kitchen!" (while leaning over to check and make sure).

10. you walk in and SO is sitting at the table fumbling a large glass of water - normally not something that is drunk. the coffeemaker is empty and off.

11. "did you forget we're supposed to take the kids somewhere?"

12. "yes, i said get them ready"

13. "we've been ready for nearly an hour."

14. "oh! uh... has it-- has it been an hour already? uh..."

you leave and return home, send the kids to the cheap playground next door. SO returns and is immediately on the attack:

"i don't have to explain myself to you"

"what, you think you own me?"

"you don't have a right to tell me what i can and can't do"

and so on, basically making it clear that you have no right to feel upset.

i know the answer is obvious to anyone who isn't a one-eyed chimp with scurvy, but would you have a right to be upset?

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14 ANSWERS


  1. Significant other?  So you're not married?  But you are in a committed relationship right?  Are the kids his?  Anyway YES he's s******g the neighbor again.  Would I have the right to be upset?  Umm DUH.  The locks would already be changed.


  2. After number 3, his @#s would have been out the door along with hefty bags full of his clothes.

    Sweetie you can do better. And I think you know it too.  

  3. I would think so, especially if they have already had s*x. It would be totally understandable to suspicious. What about a little bit of preventive couples counseling? Better to start early than to wait too late. Take a deep breath and relax, you know what is going on and you simply want to take steps to protect your relationship. take care

  4. Yah. You also have the right to leave him.  

  5. 1. someone of the opposite gender to your SO came over, there was much drinking and heavy flirting between your SO and the guest.

    YES

    2. the guest was so inebriated they required an escort home.

    NO

    3. circumstances required your SO to be the escort to walk them home. s*x ensued.

    YES

    4. big drama, big drama, forgiveness, moved on.

    YES

    5. months later, your SO indicates they enjoyed the experience and wouldn't mind a repeat. big drama, your SO recants, was just trying to get your goat.

    YES

    6. months later, your SO volunteers to deliver something to the guest's home, which is in the immediate vicinity. you're advised that upon their immediate return, there will be a family trip to the local playground, have the children ready.

    NO

    7. half an hour later, the children are getting restive and complaining. you try to take them out, figuring SO can come over whenever, but the sun is too hot that nobody wants to walk anywhere and SO has the keys to the car. everybody returns home and more waiting.

    NO

    8. 20min later, you go to the guest's home. the door is normally unlocked when they're home, but it's locked now. you knock. there is an extended pauses, some quiet conversation, another pause, then the guest answers the door in a condition more commonly associated with the term "just tumbled". as far as can be determined, they're naked underneath what little they're wearing.

    YES

    9. you ask if SO is still there and there's a pause, they look down the hall (to the bedrooms) then "uh, yeah! in the kitchen!" (while leaning over to check and make sure).

    YES

    10. you walk in and SO is sitting at the table fumbling a large glass of water - normally not something that is drunk. the coffeemaker is empty and off.

    YES

    11. "did you forget we're supposed to take the kids somewhere?"

    YESS

    12. "yes, i said get them ready"

    YES

    13. "we've been ready for nearly an hour."

    YES

    14. "oh! uh... has it-- has it been an hour already? uh..."

    YES

    OMG leave the SO that is so wrong. You dont deserve it. Have some respect. You should of beat the h**l out of the guest or whoever and tell your companion their sh** will be out on lawn. And that you want a divorce!

  6. Up set would not even begin to cover it.  

  7. There would be no number 4.  

  8. Yes.

  9. Yes you do have the right to be upset. However, the real question is whether you should be upset with your SO or yourself. If this behavior by your SO is something that has just developed then you should be mad at him. However, if it is something that has developed over time because you put up with it then you should be mad at yourself. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. Peace and God bless.

  10. I would never have forgiven the SO after number 3!!!

  11. yes. From the first time.

  12. 100 yes to all of them - right to be upset - Yes.

  13. H*LL YEAH...DUHHH...

    EDIT:

    I agree with Liz. You knew about #3 and let this continue???  I agree, you definetely have the right to be upset and pissed, but you let it go after they had s*x, everything after that is somewhat your fault for letting it go...

  14. I would have threw all his sh*t out the door.  Nevermind my right.  

    Actually I would have done that the first time he did it.

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