Positive steps in correcting a lying child..?

Question

Currently I babysit. I keep two boys. The youngest one is 4 years old. He is currently being potty trained and constantly lies about needing to go to the bathroom when he is getting in trouble for something else. He's using it as an excuse to get out of time out. When he goes to the restroom, he does nothing but sit there and smile. He says, "all done". I look in the toilet, there is nothing. The only time he says he has to "potty" is when I'm having a talk with him in time out. I wanted to try to talk to the child to see what was bothering him or causing him to make up the lies that he does. Everytime I ask a question, he only repeats the question. So, in essence there is no communication. I tried to put him in time out when he repeats my question and doesn't give an answer. I'm really starting to wonder if maybe he has a learning disability or maybe he has ADD that is that prominant. Let me know how you think I should deal with the situation. And for those of you who

Answer 1

my mom used soap for lying.  nowadays, though, it appears that people don't want to discipline their children in such a fashion because it's "barbaric".  when corporal punishment started getting nixed in this country, crime rose vehemently.  wonder why.

personally?  keep the kid in time out and if he pees himself, tell him that he shouldn't lie about having to go in the future (change his clothing, of course, but AFTER the time out is over).  

i think you should read the book "1-2-3 Magic".  it was a life saver for us.  the only punishment needed is pretty much a time out.  the book says that you tell the child no to whatever they are doing wrong and say, "that's one".  the next time "that's two"  with no other explanation.  the third time? "that's three, go to time out"  when you put a child in time out, you don't ask if they know what they did until AFTER the time out.  also, don't talk to the child while they are in time out, it only encourages worse behavior and they like attention either way.  in essence, you "trying to find out what's bothering him" is just giving him what he wants and is making the punishment not a punishment.  another thing Dr. Thomas Phelan (the author ) says is that the time out should only be one minute for each year of the child's age and the time out doesn't start until the child is quiet (and telling them over and over again while they are crying or screaming that it doesn't start ntil they stop only encourages them to keep going because, once again, you are giving them attention).  

if the parents are at their wits end as well, i would recommend this book to them too.  the link to Dr. Phelan's site is below.

Answer 2

Well if the parents havent got a clue then perhaps try the folowing method (use at own risk)

-move the training toilet over to the timeout area that way he may sit there to his wit's end then perhaps get bored and wish to stop.

Answer 3

I know its so annoying for children to repeat everything u are saying but do u still put him back in time-out after he "uses" the bathroom? Let him know that its making his time-out longer. Tell him that he's missing out on doing something fun like fave cartoons or toys. I'm glad that u are actually trying to find something to correct this because the parents should be the ones correcting this and not you. Also if the parents don't have an input in this than w.e you do kinda goes out the window. So let them know u r trying to resolve the problem.

Answer 4

You do understand that a 4 year old doesnt always realize what a lie is. He is not necessarily doing it on purpose. It takes some time for a child to really understand what is being asked of them. Sometimes they dont recognize the signals their body is sending.

Punishing him will not help. Putting him in time out will not make him go when he needs to. Take him every half hour and sit him on the seat for a few minutes. Once he starts to go regularly you can make the time in between longer.