Post-season mind games (Part 2)
As the season kept progressing and becoming even more unpredictable in every way, the drivers also started to retaliate in the same way and it seems that returning to Formula 1 was not a good option either. But you know what they say, it’s always better to give it a try rather than sit back home and keep a stiff upper lip.
Felipe Massa:
“For sure I am still the best. I just suffered a life threatening accident. That’s all. It’s not something big. I am still the best even though I can’t compete against the Red Bulls or McLarens. Ferrari shouldn’t fire me just because I can’t drive as fast as I used to anymore. Isn’t Ferrari about love, hope and sharing? Isn’t the Formula 1 about giving rather than receiving?”
Michael Schumacher:
“I am back in Formula 1. And obviously I am not happy with my result. I think Nico Rosberg doesn’t get the deal. I am supposed to finish ahead of him. But I am satisfied with my result. Since me and Nico are teammates, his points were supposed to be my points. If we add up our points along with Rubens Barrichello’s, I think I am the world champion. Rubens doesn’t mind donating some points to me. We are the best of friends in every way. I know I tried to kill him at the Hungarian Grand Prix, but that doesn’t change anything in anyway.”
Nico Rosberg:
“I defeated Michael Schumacher while being his teammate. Enough said.”
Ross Brawn:
“I love you Michael.”
Robert Kubica:
“I think I am even better than Ferrari. Formula 1 should come up with a new team especially for me. I will draw hearts on it.”
Vitaly Petrov:
“I am still ahead of Fernando Alonso. I don’t think he will be able to overtake me ever!”
Flavio Briatore:
“Returning to Formula 1 seems impossible for me right now. But you have not seen the last of me. I will raid the pits and manage every driver on the grid. I plan to return soon but in case I don’t, I think I’ll join Christopher Nolan and help him make more movies like Inception. Just like I planned a win for Fernando in 2008.”
Fernando Alonso:
“I love you Flavio.”
Rubens Barrichello:
“I hope Michael leaves Formula 1 soon and I become the King of Formula 1! With Williams.....Maybe.....”
Nico Hulkenberg:
“I gave up everything for Formula 1. I took a pole position in a Williams for the love of God! But all the teams want is money? I think Formula 1 is becoming more of an American sport as days keep passing by.”
Bernie Ecclestone:
“I think we should have a race at the North Pole as well. The first Formula 1 race in the snow. Man I come up with good ideas. I think I’ll ask Jean Todt to initiate this idea and hopefully we’ll have the project running in like......2 days or so. I just hope that I make up the money that those rotten crooks took from me! Oh well, at least I have a young girlfriend with me.”
Jean Todt:
“I still can’t believe I am in a much better position than Ross Brawn and Bernie Ecclestone. It’s not that I am g*y but I don’t care about girls as long as I get to control everything.”
Frank Williams:
“How come Bernie gets a hot young girlfriend and I don’t? How come Bernie gets everything?!”
(The quotations above are the writers creation and solely for the purpose of adding hilarity to the article)
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