Potty-mouth mommas: How did you train yourself to stop cursing around your baby?

Question

I have a confession to make: There are days that I curse like a sailor, and I'm not proud of it, nor do I want my baby to pick up the habit.

I manage to keep it under control in the presence of my older child, but only because we have a "bad word jar" and he gets to charge me a quarter every time he hears me swear. That, and he's in school all day, and spends a lot of time outside with the neighbor kids instead of in here with his foul-mouthed mother.

Ideas? Tips? Tricks? Do I need behavior modification therapy? Is my son's first word destined to be a four-letter word?

If this matters, I seem to curse the most when I'm under stress, or aggravated, so I guess I need to learn to catch it...

Oh, and my SO does it too.

Answer 1

Hehe my two year old says "Bugger Off Kenny (the dog)" because I say that instead of something else I used to say.

Luckily he only says it to the dog.  We are also sure he has said f*****k and s h i t.  But we just ignore it.  Basically if it gets no reaction he seems to get bored.

Also even if you don't swear toddlers can swear.  My friend's kid says "c o c k y" all the time.  Dad finally figured it out -the kid is trying to say "car keys", and everytime he says it mom freaks out so he keeps saying it.

Answer 2

Good question!  I shall give you a star!  I wish I knew the answer but I have a two year old that think s a TV remote is called a d**n remote and now calls people idiots from the back seat of my mini van. He used to drop things and thought that dammit was what you said instead of uh oh.  I am not proud nor do I think it is cute but I sometimes catch myself saying things or change it if I hear him repeat things.  

Answer 3

my friends had a 3 year old when i met them and it was hard to break that habit so we used replacement words. pluck instead of the f word and things like that.  

Answer 4

I honestly have NOT been Pottymouth trained yet. I forget sometimes and when I do remember its too late I have already said something I shouldn't have.

Answer 5

i haven't really stopped yet. i curse a lot. A LOT. hubby and i have joked about teaching ruby to say, "it's ruby, b(itches)!" it's bad. i'm not usre we are totally kidding. and what kevin smith is for you, chris rock is for me. i speak in so many chris rock lines it is a symptom of psychosis, i am sure. (last week during the DNC, we were invoking chris rock's anger over how people used to say colin powell "spoke so well": "what voice were you expecting to come out of his mouth, you low expectation having motherfu&*er!?" all night. we must have said it 5 times). so, anyway...i don't know. however, i don't work on my casual "humorous" profanity so much. i am trying really hard not to curse out of anger or frustration. i guess i feel it is more important to not model angry language than it is to be super careful about all profanity. i know i am going to get thumbed down all over for this, but...i was raised by a potty mouthed mom. she never curbed her profanity. BUT i was taught that certain language is okay at home but not at school/on the street/at a neighbor's house. i am not sure how it managed to work -- the approach has holes in it, i know, primarily that a young child/toddler can't understand this caveat and will just repeat the curses. so i am rambling and not helping, as clearly i have not figured out how to deal with this yet. and ruby is a BIG talker. i should probably work on it, eh? what an effing pain in the a^&!

Answer 6

I'm with you. I curse like a sailor..or did...My husband is just as bad (especially while driving)....we've been trying to keep eachother in line though..it's rough! Ian's almost one and we're still working on it! I've started saying 'poopy diaper head' everytime I want to curse...which I'm sure is equally as bad, but it keeps me from saying a lot of other words...as far as the driving with Aaron goes..he's ended up doing what he calls 'mean mugging' everytime he wants to curse...instead of cursing he stares meanly at the person he's thinking curse words about lol...quite funny to watch. Maybe we should all join a behavior modification group therapy group together!

Answer 7

If you find a solution will you please let me know????  I'm scared to death Johnny's going to go to daycare one day and tell the teacher to kiss his a$$ or something, lol

Answer 8

No tips or tricks, it's hard, but you have to just bite your tongue. "They" say it takes 21 days to break a habbit, so just stick with it for a month.

My daughter, 17 months old said "oh dear" this weekend, better then "oh sh*t" lol  

Answer 9

Do you remember my "macock" story??  Yeah, we're in for a couple more hilarious mimicks in our household!!

I have no suggestions since I'm in the same boat & replacement words don't work out here.

Btw....

http://www.countbasietheatre.org/  Kevin Smith on 11/7/08!!!

Answer 10

I haven't totally managed it yet.  What I try to do is stop myself before the whole word comes out.  So if I start to say "oh for f***ks sake!"  it will end up as "oh for fffffff sake!" It gets my point across without changing it too much!

Answer 11

you need to penalize yourself it has to hurt, a quarter doesn't hurt 20 bucks hurts, even a large rubber band snapped on your wrist hurts more than a quarter. also start watching more kid friendly movies then at least your quoting wont mean cussing. well if its any consolation many kids come from homes that cuss allot they wont necessarily mimic that once they are in school or "polite company". Besides whats the big deal about a couple letters mushed together anyways?

Answer 12

First of all, get out of my head will you!  I feel as though I have a twin living across the country from me.  I was wondering the same thing because I too am a seasoned swearer.  I am very good at stopping myself around certain people but because I could get away with it while Aaron is young, I have gotten into a bad habit.  So, no advice from me, hopefully others won't be so useless.

Answer 13

HA, you remind me of me and my husband.

Littering and...littering and...smoking the reefer :)  That's a big quote around our house, depending on the day!

Anyway, we've started taking cues from my four year old nephew who is addicted to Sponge Bob. So instead of swearing we say "oh tartar sauce" and "holy barnacles!". They're even more fun when you say them at the bar :)

Answer 14

Its hard, I must admit. I too, curse under stress and its not something I intentionally mean to do, it just happens! But, what I have been trying to do is just bite my tongue or say something like "Shoot", or "Dadgumit"...LOL...Its hard, but I try and keep in my mind I don't need to be talking like this!!!! Its just something that you have to work REALLY hard at! You don't need any kind of Therapy, you just have to TRY really hard and remember that Children are in your presence!!! Hang in there, you will get better at not using that "Potty Mouth"...LOL!!!!  

Answer 15

I am the worst. I have TRIED to stop but its so hard. So I have comeup with a few little things to hold me back. I find myself saying "shut the front door", "fudge Bucket", "Fudgieeeeeeeee" and a few others. It is very hard. If I were you I would tr to think of some 'slang' words that are cuss words but ones your children wont know. It could be like an inside joke between you and your SO.  

Answer 16

My friend had the same problem.  Then she practiced using replacement words that start with the same letter, and ending in the same sound, like FiretrUCK.  Good Luck!

Answer 17

it's very hard to break. my husband and i are both potty mouths. he works in the oilfield, so that is like the only language they use. i just tried to explain to my son that it is an ugly word. he eventually caught on, and now when he hears me or daddy say it, he will tell us that it is an ugly word. we have cut down alot on it, because he reminds us that we are saying ugly words. good luck, it is not easy.

Answer 18

Its funny, but we make everyone (including ourselves) apologize to the baby when we swear. And my BIL & SIL were like Ok that won't stop people from swearing because its so easy to apologize but after a month (hes 2 months old- yes we started that early) they all really do avoid swearing because after a while apologizing gets old and its easier just to not swear. Works pretty well for us.

Answer 19

I started before I even had my baby. I switched words. So instead of Sh*t I'd say Sugar. My nephew who is 7 uses Snap and that works too. So some of the things I now say are:

Jimmy Crickets

Sugar or Snap

Butcher

Fiddle Stix

Just be creative. If and when you do slip up do not be too hard on yourself. Lets face it your child is going to hear those things at some point from someone, you just need to teach them that that is not okay. The bad word jar is a great tool. You should give yourself credit for sticking to that.

But I think the main thing is for them not to hear the bad words all the time.  

Answer 20

Just a few days ago my 3 1/2 year old walked in my room and overheard me say S**t.  I covered it up well, I told him, "honey, go get your pirate ship, go get your ship; I think we should play with it".  He never even caught it, LOL.  

I've gotten MUCH better and have gone from cussing like a sailor (thanks to my husband who is ex-military) to doing it very, very rarely.  I've just repeatedly tried not to and I think, like anything you practice, it finally starts to sink in over time.

Now on to breaking the friggin/ frickin habit.

Answer 21

I know what you are going through. My daughter is almost 3 and we have to watch our mouth. We just have been saying other words. I know it is hard, But I stop and think of what I am about to say and try and say something else.