Power of self control?

Question

hey there im gonna be honest and bold and say i have a problem with self control and personal relations - i believe that having these two traits i will achieve unbound to what i have now scince i

have infinite ambition. - i am in the process of achieving these two things but i need to know 1 thing - my normal personality which is to be over exited and overexplaining and analysing my feelings to others. people mis understand what i mean so that is a problem also - when i force self control i feel guilty and bad to people that i am standing my ground to and been calm patient completely focused on the goal scince i am not focusing on others but myself and what i want to achieve i feel bad because i feel like i have to please others is it evil to hold this type of self control because it gets me way more respect but not much indepth understanding -

Answer 1

Time to take a good look inside and out.

to me you appear a highly motivated individual who needs to feel loved.

to feel loved and accepted has to come from the heart. being over excited or extroverted is fine and if people are non accepting of this idea then bad luck for them.

focus on what makes you happy and you will be in control of you and you will not impact on others.

Answer 2

You don't need to explain every detail of every thought you have to everyone.

Answer 3

1)  Your self control shouldn't have an impact on other people's lives.  If it does, then you're not just controlling yourself.

2)  You don't have to please other people.  How is this related to self control?  

3)  Practice punctuation.  It makes your paragraphs infinitely more readable.

Answer 4

u seem selfish & no esteem. I wuldnt listen to u if u force ur self ctrl on me.  There is more than just u to think of

Answer 5

It is good you are recognizing you may have a problem and it may be affecting your ability to foster quality relationships.  However, based on what I yielded from your choice of words and word order, the problem is not so much self control but control.  Control you may be inadvertently placing on others

I am going into detail since you seem the need for detail explanantion

So what you may have mistakened as you creating self control of you, instead it is fostering control of your will onto others because I am sensing low-self esteem.

"over excited and overexplaining and analysing my feelings to others."  This is telling me you feel misunderstood.  Hence the low self esteem.  It is good to be introspective and self reflective, but realize this is a tool for you and not a tool to place on others.  So your need to explain every detail of why you think and how you got there should not be placed on others.  Some might think it is a form of arguing

"people misunderstand what i mean so that is a problem also"  They most likley are misunderstanding you.  What you are believing as sharing information;  it is coming across as you are trying to impose your will and way of thinking

"i force self control i feel guilty and bad to people that i am standing my ground" It is good you pause yourself and think before REacting or ACTing upon, but it also means you are standing your ground on your opinion no matter what or whom it affects.  That is fine to stand you ground on certain moral principles if you believe and are passionate about it, but at the same time be open to others as well.  You shouldn't feel bad if you streamlined your response or opinion unless it was for the sole purpose of a debate club team.  Otherwise, constant justification of your opinion should not always be necessary.  You think what you think and they think what they think and that is the end of it once each has stated an opinion on the subject matter

"i am standing my ground to and been calm patient completely focused on the goal".  Being focused is good" however, being narrow-minded focus is inhibiting you from hearing others at all.

"since i am not focusing on others but myself and what i want to achieve "  You must hear them too and how they respond to you.  If all you are doing is maintaining your original thought no matter what, then you are not sharing but controlling.  HEAR how others respond to you and what they may say about your point of view.  If you find they may be getting excited and equally passionate about it, then it is OK to sometimes back down and respect that is how they see it.  However, if you listen, you might learn a dfferent point of view and your "focus" may broaden to include and incorporate their thought into yours instead of just ignoring theirs and dismissing it as invalid and vice versa.  

"hold this type of self control because it gets me way more respect"  Actually what you are perceiving as respect is people are most likely exasperated with you and your intense focus of proving yourself right in all that detailed explanation.  Realize, you may have an opinion but you don't always have to justify it.

"but not much in depth understanding"  Because you were not offering equal udnerstanding back.  It is like a quid pro quo type of relationship.  If you give a bit, then they will give back. What is known as COMPROMISE

You may discover, things may go smoother for you.  Much prayers and good luck!