Praise towards children....?

Question

Hi all, I am enrolled in an early childhood course. We were talking about how praise effects children. In a reading it says that praise

1. Manipulates children

2. Creates praise junkies

3. Steals a child's pleasure.

4. Children lose interest

5. Reduce achievement.

The above are negative effects according to the article.

The person who wrote the reading, suggests that caregivers take the following actions instead of praising the children.

1. Say nothing

2. Say what you saw

3. Less talk, ask more

What are your thoughts on the topic of praise. Do you think the first five listed are damaging to children and that the last 3 sugguestions should be used instead?

Answer 1

I agree with your reading. In a book called "Montessori: The Science Behind the Genius" there is an entire chapter about praise and rewards and there are many, many research examples given on how praise affects children. These are scientific results that show that praise negatively affects them. The result of one study that sticks out to me (and this goes along with all the people who answered before me saying, "I don't agree with saying nothing"), is of children who were socially interacting together. There were three children in the study and each child was given a different response to something that happened. One child received a "good job" to what they had done, one received a "I like how you...etc." and the last one did not receive any language. The results showed that the children who receive no language at all after a specific experience are more likely to repeat the behavior they used. Those children who received some sort of praise or acknowledgment were less likely to repeat that same behavior later on. (And there were multiple studies in this area.)

So, yes, what you read goes right along with the scientific evidence that has been produced.

Answer 2

simlpe rule I made years ago when the teacher praises the children stays

Answer 3

Well I don't know what class your taking but I wouldn't want to study there.    Yes it is true that if you over praise a child they will learn to manipulate, become praise junkies, and may reduce achievement.   But would you yourself rather have praise or be ignored?  Moderate praise builds confidence, encourages achievement and expresses to them you notice their existence.  I have worked with children all my life and can't imagine not be able to give praise.  You don't have to tell a child they are cute 40 times a day or that their picture is the best picture anyone in the whole wide world has every made.  You can tell them they have done a good job once in awhile or that what they do or who they are matters to you.  Can you imagine a generation that is never praised!  I can't and hope I don't live that long to see it.

Answer 4

no absolutely not.          the first five are  not (in my opinion) damaging to children.  Kids need to be praised for a job well done--whether its going potty in the appropriate place or getting a good grade at school.  What would u feel  like if all your life you never got praised for anything you did?

Answer 5

As an ex-Preschool Teacher with 13 yrs under her belt, I can tell you from experience that children 'crave' to be recognized in some small way. You should tailor the praise to fit the child or situation (kind of like choosing your battles). Sometimes just saying "that's a really pretty picture Ronnie" or "Thank you for cleaning up" or " You ALL got into line for the playground so (nicely,quietly,quickly)" is all the child(ren) need to hear. By NOT saying a word that child(ren) will feel that you don't really care or are  too busy to pay attention in which case you end up with a negative behavior from them.

While in a manner of speaking we are manipulating a child (face it when in life is anyone NOT manipulated?) by giving them praise, we do so in a manner that will make for a pleasant learning environment. Children who are praised (even a small amount) tend to be more eager to learn, get along and do for themselves and others; those who recieve NO praise tend to be the ones who don't care about learning, careing for themselves (cleanliness, attitude,manners),lack in skills and do poorly in the workplace as adults.

Many of the people who write these 'theorys' on how to raise children actually have no children themselves and so do not really know what they are talking about. These are also the people who have butted into our lives and told us that we should NOT spank,discipline,encourage seperate ideas, allow them to explore religion or tell them how to dress (now look around and see where THAT  has gotten us). But they do encourage us to look the other way when Jon-Jon experiements with drugs,Sally gets pregnant, kids are walking around with their pants hanging off their rearends and Caleb paints graffitte on the courthouse steps.

These are the people who 'claim' that they know better then the parents on how to raise a child, but when the you-know-what hits the fan they look at us and say 'But your his/her parent, why did'nt you stop it?'.

While I am not saying that we should mindlessly beat our child(ren) for doing something wrong, we should also not be cattle who dumbly follow a path that we know leads to our doom. There is an old saying that goes "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it".........it is tried and true. There is also this " Teach a child kindness as they grow and they will show kindness throughout their life.......Teach a child how to throw stones and he will ruin many a life".

Answer 6

Praise at the right time and at the right place is magic.

Too often has little or no effect.

Praise is the same for adults too.  Think about it, when YOU are praised for something in front of people which you feel you deserve, makes you feel good,eh.  Praise, either for adults or children I feel are basically the same.

Answer 7

Well, In my opinion.. it is good to praise children as long as you do it with their right actions and not over do it...

Answer 8

Id have to say that Praise does help.

Because it helps them understand what is right and wrong to do.

Answer 9

I totally agree with the assessment from the reading regarding praise. To elaborate on the appropriate ways to respond to a child who is seeking praise, I would reflect back to the child in ways that might help her recognize the intrinsic rewards of her accomplishment:

1. I bet you feel really good about that.

2. Tell me how you accomplished that.

3. How are YOU feeling about ....?

In this way the child becomes less dependent on extrinsic affirmations and learns to be more self confident and self reliant.

Instead of praising think in terms of celebrating WITH the child on an equal footing instead of a superior judgmental stance.

Answer 10

I think yes sometimes parents do praise their kids so much that a child becomes so use to it...that when a parent does not praise them they think they did something wrong....

That said I do not believe telling a child "good job"  or "nice work" will hurt them....I have attended workshops where I was told to never say good job...but it is so hard to stop and I sometimes want to tell the kids good work..

I think saying nothing is wrong....how would you feel showing something to someone and them saying nothing....I do ask the child questions and I will remark about the painting say they are showing me...I will say how blue it is or how it is so bright...things like that.....but I always ask the child what they think too.

As for the praises hurting a child.....I really do not think they will lose interest or steal their pleasure....I mean I guess if you said.."your the best ever" all the time a child would get use to it and wonder if it was true....but if you are shown by the child something they did...there is nothing wrong with telling them how good a job they did....

Just my opinion.

Answer 11

Yes and no.  Fake praise is never useful.  But, sincere praise is great.  And even better, specific praise.  Telling a child their picture is "pretty" instills a vague, superficial standard.  Saying something like "I love the way you painted the wing on this bird; it really looks like its flying", will instill confidence and encouragement to keep on working.

Answer 12

Just have to say I agree with the first answer given.

I don't think "say nothing" is the best answer of the 3.  If a child is showing something you something, don't ignore it.  They're interested in sharing.  You don't want to squash that.

Asking is great.  "Tell me about your picture" is usually how I start off.  

I will point out what I liked about what they did "I love how you concentrated the whole time you did that work."  "I am glad you decided to share this with me."  I try not to say stuff like, "I love how you did these butterflies."  When I do that, I notice the kid keeps brining me pictures with the same butterflies in it because they seem to think that's all I want to see of their pictures.  With that said, I will sometimes say, "Today you gave me butterflies.  Last time, it was flowers.  I love how you think of new things to draw."  (Inviting them to still be creative)

At the end, I'll ask them how they feel.  "Are you happy with how it turned out?"  They'll say yes and I say, "Then I am too."  I rarely had a kid say no.  I can't think of a time I did.  But ... have to be prepared.  If they say no, let them know they can try to fix the picture or try to do it again differently if they want to.  

My 2 cents.

Edit:  Are we actually arguing over semantics here?  Praise and Encouragement seem to be a distinction in my mind.  For more information, check out my sources article.

Matt

Answer 13

This is very ironic because I was just thinking about this the other day. I was a preschool/toddler teacher for 3 and a half years with a Bachelor's degree in Child and Adolescence development. I was very much a believer that praise should not be overdone and if done at all should be specific to the task they are doing. Funny thing happened though. I left my job working as a preschool teacher and entered a teaching credential program because I decided I wanted to pursue becoming an elementary school teacher. They teach you that praise is a very good thing and should be given liberally. They believe it helps raise self esteem, build a secure and positive learning enviornment and helps to motivate the child. It's funny because such conflicting views and both make perfect sense to me. As an elementary school teacher, I am so busy and caught up with trying to meet all of my standards throughout the day that praise is sometimes the last thing on my mind. However, taking the time to ensure a child they are doing a great job means to the world to a child. It doesn't seem to have any negative effects. I will be returning to teaching preschool this summer because the school year is out and there is an opening at my old work so I can make some extra money. I fully intend on using praise-and thanks for bringing this up. Very interesting topic!!

Answer 14

Wow I believe that this will have a mixed answer. It is important to build confidence. Children from the time they are born are learning. We learn our whole lives. If you as an adult try something new. You have studied to make sure you do it right and come time for the actual day of delivery you succeed and all you hard work pays off. Do you want people to say nothing and walk away? Or would it boost your confidence even more if they came to you and said wow that was an awesome job. You must be proud of your hard work.

Children are no different. I do not believe in fake praise. I do believe communication is a huge part of every day life no matter what age. It amazes me how we try to take away all that is good and how some people want us to develop non emotional, robotic children. Not my way. When I taught 4 yr olds. I had a difficult child he would mind none of the other teachers. I came up with a game plan. I had circle time every morning. The children each had a circle they decorated and then I used clear contact paper to attach to the carpet. Well, my one defiant child did not choose to participate and so he sat in a chair in another part of the room. Well, our morning time was our sharing with each other about our night and just things like this. He missed out on the fun. He came up to me the fourth day and said he was ready to make his circle so he could join the circle. He made it he was praised for his picture and for his participation. I never had a moment of trouble with him after that.