Pram help please :( !!!?

Question

Hi, I need some advice. Please don't think I'm selfish or ungrateful.

My mom has offered to buy us the travel system for my baby due this October 25th. She has always liked the ones like the silvercross with the lie flat option - which i like but as you have to buy the carseat & base extra it comes up quite pricey when its totalled and I know that she would struggle to pay for it although she'd never admit that to me, she just says that my nan has agreed to help but I don't want everyone to struggle so I have always said no to that.

She has now got her heart set on buying an old vintage silvercross pram off ebay after she ran into someone in town with one and although I have said I wouldn't like to use it, she says that she'll buy the one I want aswell. I have tried to tell her that it wouldn't really get used enough because he's not going to be with her every day so would be a waste and she hasn't got the room for it, but whatever I say just seems to offend her and doesn't sway her off buying one from ebay.

The thing is he wouldn't be with her everyday, and 99% that he is with her, I would be there too and so have the pram I will have. I don't mean this to sound nasty but its almost as though she thinks its her baby (thats how its making me feel). She even said last night "well you won't be pushing him", but it's MY baby.

I do appreciate what she is doing for us but I really don't want her to buy this pram. What should I say/do? Should I lie and say it's sold - but chances are she'll just find another she likes.

Answer 1

I am afraid I did that with my daughter, you try to get them to buy the one you like not them. You must tell her firmly that you dont want that one and stick to it, its your choice she made hers with her children and you should make yours with yours.

Answer 2

Hi oh gosh, I know how you feel, there is nothing wrong with the vintage colour silvercross pram, this is the one I have picked and its really nice, my mother in law agreed to pay for it even though we were going to get it ourselves but she just told us to pick the pram we want and she will get it. I was worried about her paying for it as it is quite expensive, but you dont really need the car seat to go with it really unless you wanted it that is, as it turns into a trolly when they are a bit older anyway. So unless you have a car you probably wouldnt use the car seat anyways.

But why dont you offer to get the car seat we did.

But the thing is as soon as my mother in law mentiond to get the pram for us, she demanded that she wanted to take my baby round town in the pram etc and what day she wanted this to take place and everything, yes fair enought it is her grandchild but still, because she bought her pram she is classing pram and baby as hers, I knew this would happen as thats just the way she is.

Like you say its our baby and we should decided whats what, there is no point in your mum getting 2 prams, so you should just get the one she saying as if its the same as mine it will last ages and you wont need to waste money on anything else, but you must let your mum know how you feel, I guess its her first grandchild.

But it would be good of her to let you chose your own pram, Im only saying stick with the silvercross because thats the one I have. but if you dont want that one just let her know that she can buy you another one, but you want the one that you want more than the other one and it will save money just getting one and that basically you will be the one pushing the pram as you are your babys mum., you dont have to say it rude but you have to say something.

Oh right so its one of the old stlye prams, Im with you then on this one, I dont like the old style prams and they are relly expensive just to use for a few months, sorry I thought you ment the travel system, I would be honest with her as these are quite big as well, just tell her you would prefer her to buy you something that would last you rather than it not last, as if she is going to buy it, the only time you will use it is when you are with her and if that not often then it would be a waste. if she wont agree to buy you the other pram you want even thought she said she will, why not ask her to buy the cotbed or moses basket etc, and let her pick.

Answer 3

I know exactly how u feel, except it wasn't my mother doing this to me, it was my best friend and people on the job telling me when the baby comes that it's their baby and I need to do this and that for their baby. I just politely told everyone that if u want him, then let's swap bodies and u carry this heavy load and then u can tell me what to do about my life. I don't think ur being selfish, that's just the way u feel. It is ur baby and u are entitled to say what u want and don't want for ur baby. Congrads!!!!

PROUD MOMMY OF A 3 WEEK OLD BABY BOY NAMED JORDAN

Answer 4

just let her do what she wants, remember its her grandchild and grandmothers always know best (so they think), but trust me just let her do it even if she doesnt have the money, it will solve all problems and most of all it will make her happy which is what you need instead of frustration:)

35wks pregnant with baby #1

Answer 5

be clear about which pram you want, and let her buy it for you if she pleases.

otherwise, let her buy the extra pram if she wants. It's her money, and if she wants to waste it on a pram, let her do it. Be clear with her that you will not be using her pram yourself, but she can use it when she babysits.