Pre-nup, previous debt, and marriage?

Question

Let's say I have absolutely no debt in any form. I decide I'd like to marry my boyfriend. He has quite a bit of debt and I don't like his spending habits. I want all of our finances to remain separate.

Now, regardless of whether you agree with this marriage, how could I make it happen in such a way as to keep myself spotless?

How could I completely legally protect myself? We would have separate bank accounts from each other and he would sign a pre-nup. What else can be done?

Also, does living under the same roof for a certain number of years put me in a vulnerable financial position? I'm interested in anything I haven't yet thought of that could ruin my perfect financial situation.

Thanks a lot for thorough answers!

Answer 1

You need to look at the laws in your state.  None of what you say (prenup etc) protects you from debt in a community property state.  Your debt will be his debt and vice versa.

Answer 2

I had good credit.  We had separate bank accounts, and credit card accounts.  I married a man who I knew had debt.  I knew I didn't like his spending habits, and his lack of saving habits, but I naively thought his debt could be paid down. The problem was I didn't know HOW much debt he had.  

Because of his bad money habits I now owe the IRS for years before we even got married, and we're no longer together!  You'd better believe living under the same roof for a number of years puts you in a vulnerable financial position.

Also, if you go to rent an apartment, buy a car or house they will have to look at both of your credit histories, and guess what?  Your credit histories will become merged and then you now have bad credit.

I'm not trying to scare you, but trying to get you to look at this realistically.  My advice is for you to seek the advice of a financial advisor, preferably an attorney, before you get married to prevent any problems arising.

Best wishes, and God bless.

Answer 3

This one is very tough and almost impossible.  Remember, if you decide to marry this person, you can never:

-have a lease TOGETHER

-have a mortgage TOGETHER

-have a car note TOGETHER

-have a child and BOTH parent names be on the birth certificate TOGETHER (depending on the state)

-apply for any type of credit JOINTLY

-never file your taxes TOGETHER

-maybe you can't even have the same last names

It's something to think about.  All it takes is 1 slip up for the credit bureaus to link your names and share your credit files.

Living under the same roof only makes you common law married (depending on the state).  If you really want this to work, your best bet is make sure your partner cleans up that credit, improves spending habits and payment history, and maybe takes consumer credit counseling classes.  Good luck!