Pregnancy and adoption?

Question

What resources could i refer a friend to if she was pregnant and willing to give the baby up for adoption to any specific couple with the means to care for it?

Answer 1

She should use an open adoption agency. That way she can keep in contact with them and actually get to see the baby if she wanted to.  Sometimes it is easier because they can tell their baby is being raised ok.

Here is a wonderful adoption agency that is nationwide.

www.adoptionhelp.org

Answer 2

If she already knows the couple, paperwork wise, it's a pretty easy process.  When I adopted, I contacted a social worker, who conducted the home study, criminal checks, and that type of paperwork.  Our attorney did the consent to adopt forms, and filed everything at the courthouse, including applying for the birth certificate paperwork.  Emotionally, I believe it was harder on everyone, especially her in ways.  I encourage her to have open paperwork, that way, if the baby ever wants to have contact in the future, the paperwork is open for her/him to view at the courthouse.  Some adoptive parents don't follow through with open adoption agreements.

Answer 3

Have her watch Juno and see what she thinks about adoption afterwords. Listen to the song, I Would Die For That, but Kellie Coffey.

Answer 4

AdoptHelp

They seem like a good agency.

Answer 5

Call the father and inform him what her plans are. If he is fine with that then adoption agency would love her business. If not don't go behind his back he might just sue her and who ever helps her. Don't beleive me my son just settled a lawsuit that involved the whata be adopted couple, social worker, adoption agency and the chuch that funded the adoption agency. The only reason that he didn't sue the mother is because she didn't lie to who the father was.

Answer 6

19 years ago, I went to Southwest Methodist Mission Home (in San Antonio, Texas).  This is a non-profit organization.  There I lived with other pregnant girls and women for the duration of my pregnancy.  

In my case, I was in middle school so I was provided a private tutor.  All my medical expenses were paid as well as room and board.  I was given as many prospective adoptive parent profiles to look through as I want to.  During the 3 months I lived in San Antonio that's what I did... search for the "right" parents for my unborn child.  

If your friend is interested, it's worth looking into.

Answer 7

She can contact any reputable agency to place her child.

If I were you, I would completely forget about 'helping' her to give up her child. Not only are you unnecessarily putting pressure on her, you are also setting yourself and her up for a lifetime of regret. Perhaps she will be happy to give up her child, but most mothers are not. Most mothers greive over their lost child for years to come. I would suggest that you don't want to be the catalyst for the emotional turmoil that your friend will have to endure if she decides to give up her child.

Instead, you could try being supportive of her as the mommy. You could try to find resources in your community for how she can successfully raise her child....they are out there if you look for them. You can clip coupons for formula or diapers, throw a shower, be supportive, etc. All better things to do than to get involved in a very personal decision.

Answer 8

Help her find a well know agency. In California it is Childrens Home Society.

Tell your friend that she is giving the greatest gift any family could ever get. I aopted my daughter who is 28 years old now.

She is the child of my heart. Her birth mother loved her enough to make sure that there would be a family that could give her a good live and the basics like food, home, education and love.

She knew that it was the best thing she could do for the daughter that she loved and adorded  - This is the most amazing gift a pregnant poor mother can do for their child.

I can't imagine my life without her. I adore her and she and are are now best firends now that she is an adult. She is an incredable mother to her three kids.

I gave her all my love. She was adored by all of our friends and family. She is a treasure.

I used to be a nurse working in OB and when a new mom was giving up a child the social workers would call me in to work with the mothers giving up the child. Because I have given birth and I have adopted, And those mothers can say anything to me.

And when tending the babies, I gave them lost of care and affection. Until the adopting parents picked the babies up.

You can also go through an atrtorney.

God, bless your friend for knowing that the best thing she can do is to give her child a chance at a good life.

Answer 9

Dear Julienne,

Please do your friend a favor and show yourself to be a TRUE friend by encouraging her to EDUCATE herself on ALL her options and the possible effects on herself, her CHILD, the baby's father and their extended families.

Adoption is not always the answer and a good friend would want to keep someone they care about from making a lifelong and permanent decision without ALL the knowledge of what that choice might entail.

Has your friend considered temporary or permanent guardianship with a family member or friend? Has she looked into the available assistance for single parents? Has she considered what her child may feel like as an adoptee? Is co-parenting with the father or other family member a posibility? Does she know "open" adoptions are NOT enforcable? Does she know that the VAST majority of women who have placed a child for adoption REGRET their decision? Does she know that placing a child for adoption makes her more prone to mental health issues, substance abuse, suicide, etc? Has she considered how she will explain this adoption to any subsequent children she may decide to raise? How her children might feel about losing a sibling to adoption? Does she have FRIENDS who can help her keep her child by offering support, helping babysit, listening, encouraging, throwing a baby shower, helping her sign up for assistance, etc.? ETC. ETC. ETC.

Please take some time to HELP your friend research her options. Go through the adoption section Q & As, look at the links, read some books, blogs, talk to some people who are living it - not just one or two but several, etc. Support your friend and try to listen to her and help her find the information she REALLY needs. DON'T pressure her to do what you would do - let HER make this decision for herself and SUPPORT her choice. IT should be hers and if possible the baby's father's decision to make and theirs alone. She/they and her child are the ones who will have to live with it.

Good luck to you and your friend. I hope that she gets the information and support she needs whatever her choice turns out to be.

Answer 10

Here are some resources for her:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVKiiiSo8...

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

http://www.sedoparking.com/singleparentc...

http://www.keepyourbaby.com/

http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pd...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scy6uf2MZ...

I wish her the best of luck.

Answer 11

Why is your friend so sure that she wants to relinquish her baby? If the baby hasn't been born yet, she shouldn't make any decisions as her feelings will likely change once the child is born.

There are resources out there that can help her if finances are a problem. She can apply for MediCaid so that she and her child have medical insurance; there is WIC to help her with milk and other food supplies; and she may qualify for food stamps if she is on her own or has low/no income.

Ask your friend to do some reading on the topic of relinquishment and what it does to the child AND to the mother afterward. She can start by reading and posting on this board. One of the things I've learned on here is that "adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." If your friend is considering adoption for her child, it may be because she is young/scared/broke...or many, many other reasons. Those situations can and will all change for her so she shouldn't make any decisions until after the baby is born. I don't want her to regret relinquishing her child "just" because she doesn't have any money (for example).

Best of luck to you and your friend!  :)

ETA: Please keep in mind that "open" adoption is unenforceable. Just because a family tells a pregnant woman that they will keep in touch/send pictures and letters/allow visits does NOT mean that they will follow through after they take the baby, and there is no law that will protect your friend as the child's first mother. Open adoption is often just a scam to coerce pregnant women to give up their babies.