Pregnancy... how do you know?

Question

Hey

As I was growing up and throughout my younger years (im only 25 now) I always said I never wanted kids. Having been to a councellor (about my rough childhood) I realised the reason why.

I met my boyfriend over 5 years ago and he said he did want kids, i told him i didnt. But because I loved him, i tried to think about having kids, rather than just saying i didnt want them. i kind of changed my mind and decided I did want kids.

My boyfriend, then changed his mind and said he didnt. So i was a bit disappointed.

Anyway, yesterday he told me that he has decided he does want kids and I couldnt believe we were actually talking about it. I know im not ready yet, but how will i know when i am ready?? Do you just know?? or is it something you've just got to do and get through it.

Also, im worried about all the pregnancy things, like ive heard stories that you have a poo when you're giving birth..

And piles and such.. the nasty things.

Any help or advice?

Answer 1

It sounds like neither of you are 100% sure either way if you want children yet or not. You may be saying what each other wants to hear rather then what you really feel. Maybe speaking to a councellor about this might help. I understand that you have already seen one regarding your rough childhood, and may not want to go down that road again, but it could help you both come to a decision. Also the pressure of just making the decision could have a detremental effect on your relationship and thats the last thing you want.

I think its admirable that you are seriously thinking about this rather then going into it head first without a care, there are too many children these days born in unsteady relationships and to people who just cant be bothered to use contraception. It took my husband and I 3 years to come to a decision to have our third child and I am currently 13 weeks pregnant and looking forward to it emensley, but feel waiting was the best decision we made.

When I read in your question about your pregnany fears it made me chuckle slightly, and not in a condesending way at all. Pregnancy and birth are massive things to go through. Morning sickness, constipation, aches and pains, most women have some if not all of the symptoms. As for pooing when you give birth, so what!!!!! Many women do and will do in the future and it can't be helped. The midwives and doctors will have seen it all before and wont even bat an eyelid. When your in labour the last thing you are worried about is if your pooing or not. Usually your cursing your partner for helping put you in that situation in the first place.

At the end of the day, its all worth it, you will have a tiny buddle of joy all wrapped up in a blanket and any fears you had during your pregnancy or labour will disappear instantly.

Good luck and I really hope every thing works out for you.

Answer 2

U TAKE A TEST AND FIND OUT

Answer 3

Are you sure you are really 25?  You sound a like 15 year old.

Answer 4

I think you know when you are ready....saying that i never knew i was pregnant for the first few months.  You are still young and have plenty of time for having kids when you are ready.

Dont worry about all the pregnancy stories......if it was that bad why would so many woman do it and then do it again and again.

All the best.

Answer 5

you really just know. it's not like a certain age or point in your life when a light suddenly goes on saying "ready for child" you'll know when it's right. and as for the nasty things during child birth... you could always have a c section. but if you have natural child birth, you can get an e***a before hand so that you do not p**p on yourself.

Answer 6

Im nearly in my 30's and im about to have my 3rd child. All to which a husband who cheated on me for 11 years. My first child Olena is 11. The cheating started there. I kicked myself for being so stupid, but i guess, its not my fault.

But what im tryna say is just, please before you get pregnant, make sure you know this is the right guy to have babies with.

Aliviah

x

Answer 7

Im 19 weeks now and as much as i want kids im not sure if im ready, but wheni saw my pip on the scan for the first time i knew it was right. Im scared silly but have all the support i need! Personally i dont think you can ever really feel ready, but its such a natural thing! Good luck!xx

Answer 8

u will know when u r ready, i dont know how but u will know!!!! so try not to worry the time will come when its right 4 you. i didnt want kids as i wanted a career, money, house and a stable envroment to bring them up in and i wanted to work for that, but at 17 i ended up pregnant and freaked out, but my mother talked me into growing up and i delt with it, and dont get me wrong it was extremely hard work but i had enough help and support to get me thro the tough times, now i have 2 beautiful girls, who i would depend my life upon.

try not to worry about the p[regnancy stuff too much most of its a load of old cobblers, i never pooed during child birth at all and it doesnt matter if u do its just the pressure of bearing down so hard. the sickness wears away after a while and in the middle of the pregnancy a burst of energy will sprout to life and u will feel wonerful.

spend time talking it through with ur partner and do some research on pregnancy, childbirth, babies and children, then u shoud be more or less clued up on it.

dont rush into it the time will be right wheter it be in a yr or 5 yrs, u will know when u r ready

hope this helps and good luck x*x

Answer 9

You just kind of know, really.   Children are great, but it is the hardest thing you will ever do.  As for the pregnancy things, yeah, you do poo when you give birth, but don't worry, the doctors have seen everything and pooing isn't anything new to them. Good luck!

Answer 10

When you are ready, you understand it. And even if you don't think you are ready, the minute you get pregnant you feel like you are born for this. You stop worrying about yourself but start worrying about your baby. Giving birth becomes no problem as you consider it as you'll eventually be seeing your baby lively. My only advise is don't panic or don't get afraid of anything. Once you have it, you won't regret it.

Answer 11

Is nothing wrong with not wanting kids, i'm 29 and have never nor do ever want them. If you are not ready then tell your boyfriend, dont't have a kid just because he wants one.