Pregnancy jealousy -- is this normal or do I need to get my head checked?

Question

Two yrs ago, I had a horrible pregnancy experience. First, my supposed 'friends' were on my case, discouraging me from carrying thru with the pregnancy, encouraging abortion. Second, I miscarried.

Since that miscarriage, there seems to be a big baby boom -- celebrities and regular young people alike having babies, most of these people in their 20s and unplanned like mine was. Everyone is happy, congratulated, etc. In a way, I am jealous whenever someone that is my age and unmarried, gets support and cheer for the same type of pregnancy that I was chastised for. At first I chalked up my jealousy to being my desire to be respected and viewed as 'capable'. But it's been a few yrs now and these sad feelings get worse, not better. Is this normal for someone that was in my situation and has anyone else been there before?

Also -- I wonder if maybe I didnt react enough when I was going through the miscarriage. I didnt stand up for myself enough. Maybe this is a strong delayed reaction?

Answer 1

I would say that this is normal, however, perhaps some counseling would do you some good in getting over these issues and moving on... You could even have ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder). It was once categorized as something only war veterans got, but anyone that has been through something traumatic can have it... I was diagnosed with it a few years ago.. Do a little research on it for your own and if it sounds familiar with what your going through contact a local mental health center and start with some counseling..

Answer 2

I think what you're feeling is normal and understandable, but that doesn't mean that you don't need help dealing with it. You probably have some feelings about your pregnancy that you haven't dealt with and every time you see someone in the same situation as you, it brings it all back.

When I was trying to get pregnant (it took 2 years), every time I saw someone pregnant, I was jealous and upset. Every time I heard of someone who I didn't think was as "prepared" as I was who got pregnant, I was angry. I avoided baby showers like the plague. It wasn't healthy...

Maybe you need to talk to someone and get some help with what you went through... it's a big thing to just try and sweep under the rug.

Answer 3

you're normal, and you have horrible friends.  my husband and I are TTC, and on Thursday, last week, i found out i have PCOS.  needless to say, a couple hours later, my YOUNGER brother called me to tell me that he and his wife are expecting.  in one day, my entire mental state took a turn for the worst.

my best friend is pregnant, now my sister-in-law, and another friend just had a baby.  tell me my week isn't S****y enough...

get some good friends, talk to your husband, and go to a therapist.  trust me, they help a lot.