Pregnant & Irish Partner Wants Me To Give Birth In Ireland?

Question

Hello Everyone,

Im 5 months pregnant by my Irish partner, i still live in the uk, he in Ireland. Since i discovered i was pregnant he has put a lot of pressure on me to give birth in Ireland but wont say why. I have looked into maternity services in his area and found them to be very overstreched but in fairness did give it a go and have some antenatal there but after asking many questions decided against it.

Anyway he is getting really nasty about me deciding to give birth in the uk and i have not spoken to him as i wont tolerate his attitude without a reason.

Can anyone from Ireland please shed some light on why he would want me to give birth in Ireland? We are unmarried. I know in the uk he has no automatic rights but was wondering in Ireland does he get them and maybe this is why? Im just puzzled.

His parents are also really pushy and are telling me if i split with him they will take the baby away from me and that they can. Well as things stand we are split so hey ho

Answer 1

Hi, I'm Irish, and a father of two, and as far as I know, he would have no more rights if you gave birth in Ireland than he would if you gave birth in the UK, and if it came to a court deciding custody, Irish courts, almost without exception, give custody to the mother. I think you just had the misfortune to get involved with a weird family, a type which, unfortunately, exist in every country. If I were in your position I would stay as far away from these people as possible - they do not sound as if they would be a good influence on a young child. Best of luck.

Answer 2

I can't see any reason he would want your child born any Ireland, unmarried fathers in Ireland have no rights and if your child does end up being educated in Ireland they might no be able to get an exemption from learning Irish which is not an easy language to learn.

Answer 3

It might be patriotic and about his sense of identity, since the baby is half his, too. Another reason might be to get the baby dual citizenship (if they still do that), but if that were the only reason I imagine he would have just said so already.

It's probably a sentimental thing for him. Puzzling for sure, since he's not being very clear about it.

Answer 4

his parents cannot take the baby off you no matter what and he sounds mental and you should do what you feel is right your self and don't mind him or his family

Answer 5

I think that if the child is an Irish citizen it would give the father more rights.The Irish embassy will tell you the answer.

I am deeply suspicous of his motives. Why will he not marry you if he is so keen on the child's welfare?

Answer 6

He wants the child born in Ireland because then you would have to stay in Ireland with the child unless he gives you permission to go back to the UK. DO NOT have the baby in Ireland unless you want to end up having to stay there. I know a woman who was in a similar situation (unmarried to the father too), kidnapping charges can be pressed if leaving the country with the child without the father’s permission!

That is how it works I am afraid & that is why they are so insistent that you have the baby in Ireland. Then they have the upper hand & perhaps think that they can make your life so unhappy that you will leave & go back to the UK & leave the baby with them. Where the child is born is where it must stay in a situation like this unless the parent who is not going back to the UK allows the other parent to leave.

By the way the situtaione sounds so abusive I think you would be FAR better off staying as far away from them all as possible. You need to be taking care of yourself for the sake of your baby right now & this stress will be doing you no good. Perhaps you might be able to get a solicitor for them to have contact with you through. It is not doing you any good have contact with them. The sooner you can cut as much ties as possible to this unhealthy situation the better. Get in touch with some community groups or women’s groups that might be able to best advise a woman escaping an abusive environment. Sorry you have to be going though this! Hope it all works out!

Answer 7

That sounds very strange.  He wouldn't have any rights since you're unmarried, and the baby would be an Irish citizen no matter where it was born because the father is Irish.  And I doubt the grandparents would be able to take the baby away, because again he has no rights to the child.

Answer 8

I dont know why he would want this...have you actually asked him why he wants it so much ? hes the best person to ask!  At the end of the day - you wont understand it until you both sit down and have a proper talk about it, and him not talking properly wont work, you will have to make him open up to you

I dont think he would have much more rights if you had the baby here or in the UK.  Unmarried fathers have no rights no matter where the baby is born

His parents sound mental - how in the name of god do they think that they can take your baby away from you to another country ?  maybe your better off away from them!

EDIT : I feel sorry for you ... being pregnant is hard enough(I know!!) i cant imagine the confusion you must be going through right now - you shouldnt be stressing out.  What a awful nasty bunch of people are they to be doing this to you!  Hope everything works out ...and congrats on the new bundle of joy!! x