Pregnant and Father has bad track record, keep giving chances or drop him?

Question

My bf who is the father of my child has a really bad track record with his ex wife, best friends, and even his family. they all tell me what a liar and a child he is. he has mooched off of me for a year without paying any rent or bills and because of that I am now living back with my parents until the baby comes. I can't tell if he is actually trying now to get his act together, he has 2 parttime jobs, or if it is the same old routine. He was supposed to come see me for the first time since I moved to my parents yesterday, he no called no showed me. Then last night told me that he overslept, his cell died, and I should quit *itching. I want to give him a chance for the sake of our son but at the same time I don't want to have to force him to do things that normal fathers to be do automaticallly. He already has one daughter that he hasn't seen in 2 years and I am worried that will happen to my son. Should I let him go and do this alone or keep giving him chances till he gets it right?

Answer 1

Let him go.  You are asking for a lifetime of misery if you choose to try to get this man to stay with you.  He isn't going to take care of you, that is evident right now.

Answer 2

if he has a bad track record with everyone drop him. He already had one child and that didnt change him any so I doubt your son is going to make him change. He overslept I bet his boss wouldnt like that excuse which exactly what it is an EXCUSE.  To me it doesnt sound like he wants to change. I would just get rid of him dont call him dont email him, maybe that will do him some good and maybe that will make him change, but by sticking with him hoping he will change isnt going to do you, him or your child any goodb

Answer 3

With all due respect, why on Earth did you put yourself in the position to get pregnant by a deadbeat loser who abandoned his little girl?  The way I see it, a mutual mistake was made between the two of you.  Unfortunately, it's too late to fix things; the baby is already on his way.  So dump the dead weight of your moronic boyfriend, and start over so you can give your son the life he deserves.

Answer 4

It is one thing when a man becomes an @@@ after your pregnant, but why have a child with a man known to be a deadbeat.

Answer 5

Listen to Ladyren.  She is absolutely right.

Answer 6

Just one question, hon... why did you pick such a guy to be the sire of your child???

Geez... here's what my mom posted on the inside of my bedroom door beginning when I was 13... a guy like you have described is a recipe for one very sad life... for you and for any child he sires.... If my mom were yours as well, a guy like this would have never make it to the second date.....

1.  The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry.  Choose with your head as well as your heart.

2.  Have no children until your bond is strong, and have no more than you yourself can support.  You may just have to

3.  At any and all costs finish your education to qualify for those high paying jobs.  It is likely that you will work sometime during your marriage, probably for decades…. Get paid for it. And remember, your kids and your education are forever…. Husbands, lovers and promises are not!!

4.  Have a stash of cash no one knows about even if you are sure you will never need it.  You absolutely will, and the more the better.

Sent to you with love from my my.

PS. He won't get it right, hon, because he has no idea what right is.... he got you preggers, he got some other girl preggers, he'll get others preggers.......

What would you guess "right" would be in this guy's language?  

He got you to spread your legs, didn't he?  

Hey, the guy thinks with his little head, not his big one...

why change?

Answer 7

If I were you, and I am not, I wouldn't put forth the effort.

Let him call you, let him come to you. You have done enough and are pregnant with HIS child. He needs to grow up and take responsibility.

It's unfair to you and the baby, but he's no role model either.

Take care of yourself and the baby = )