Pregnant and Separated...abortion?`?

Question

My husband and I are separated, living in different states and I'm pregnant. He isn't paying his child support regularly and I am usually out for the count (can't work) by the 5th month (bedrest with both kids before). I am already feeling the drag and sickness that knocks me down, working less hours and my kids & I are suffering for it. I am against abortion but seriously considering it. My soon to be ex isn't feeling the abortion...but, he isn't helping either. My youngest is a year old and my church is buying their diapers and summer clothes. I just don't know what to do. If I can't work then what? We couldn't survive off welfare...we tried.

I don't want to kill my baby, but, I don't want my other kids to suffer for it. My oldest is growing up too fast with the responsibility of helping with his younger sibling as it is.

Answer 1

I think you should just pray about it and trust God to make the situation better for you. But you shouldn't get an abortion

Answer 2

I don't think an abortion is right. Do you have any family you could move in with? Or a close friend that could live with you or you could live with them? Just until you can get back on your feet. As for your oldest, Do give him/her a day or 2 off every week. My parents are always busy and I have to take care of my 3 younger siblings(I'm 16 and they are 14,8, and 7 months) It's hard on us teens. So give them a break sometimes.

Answer 3

If i were in your situation i woul go for the abortion... it's difficult but you must be selfish for you sake and your kids.. and it sounds like if you have this child there will not be enough to go around... you're in a toughie but be selfish and think of the kids you have now n yourself

Answer 4

in my opinion, your family does not need another child and probably will, in fact, suffer from the birth of another child.

get an abortion if you are sure by the fifth month everyone will be suffering from the fact you cannot work, if you have hopes you can make it through, put your baby up for adoption.

Answer 5

Please I urge you to talk with a professional about this. In the yellow pages there are agencies that deal with your situation. Don't make any rash decisions until you have weighed all of your options. The new little one could be your biggest joy.

Answer 6

Take him back to court. He has a financial obligation to his children. And please, do NOT get an abortion :(

Answer 7

I agree with LeftyClo arent you too far gone anyway maybe more people should see programmes about abortion and then say is this not bad you are responsible for this baby ,it woukd be better to give it to someone who wants it and even if in foster homes havnt people a life afterwards and live happy lives at least they are alive

Answer 8

Give the baby up for adoption... you dont need another child.... and for gawd sakes get on BIRTH CONTROL.

Answer 9

NEVER ABORTION. If you really can't take care of it, have it and give it to a family who can't have kids. Have them adopt it, this is better because you don't kill your baby, it goes to a good home and you get paid for doing it.

Answer 10

Okay I am Catholic and  I saw your question and I knew I must react. First of all, PLEASE!!!! never get an abortion. give your baby to foster care. God loves every baby and he needs humans to protect them. Don't waste something beautiful Second, tell your ex-husband if he doesn't pay you can contact the athorities.Please, don't kill your baby!

Answer 11

I feel for you. Maybe adoption?

Answer 12

Oh honey.  I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.  Have you thought about contacting Care Net?  It's a non profit organization that can help you answer some of the hard questions your facing right now.  Since you go to church you probably have some of the same beliefs that I do about abortion (I'm a born again christian), but I know that you are also trying to care for your other kids.  Please talk to someone before you make a final decision to abort your child.  Please contact me if you'd like someone to pray with you.

Answer 13

there is another option and that is giving the baby up to adoption..maybe the best solution.

Answer 14

By coming here you will probably get all the activist to answer your question, when it all comes down to it, what anyone says here shouldn't matter. You know your life better than anyone here. It is your child, your body, and your choice. I suggest you talk to both your husband and your doctor. Our laws are like they are for people to be able to have their own choice. I wont even offer my personal opinion on this because no one should, none of us no you your life, your children, your problems, or your body. Good luck, Do what YOU feel is best for you and your family, but give every option some thought.

EDIT- to the post that says give your baby to foster care, we already have 400,000 to 600,000 kids going into foster care every year, over half never get real homes, Did you think about that before offering your opinion?

Answer 15

dont abort please. im 16 and i have a son but recently found out i cant have anymore children. it breaks my heart when people abort why not give it up for adoption so other people can gain from your baby

Answer 16

Be a responsible person!  You already cant afford the kids you have!  Sorry to be so blunt, but stop having kids until you can afford them.

Answer 17

Sorry about your situation, I don't think you can get an abortion after the first trimester. You should Sue your ex husband for child support and make him help you. If he doesn't, he should go to jail. He's a piece of c**p b*****d.

Answer 18

that is a decision only you can make.

nobody here can help you with that, and nobody here should try either.

You'll hear people try to steer you away from abortion, but that is their own belief, you have to make this decision on your own.  There are other alternatives though, but again, that will be your decision.

Answer 19

i would do something about him not paying child support. i wouldn't abort, but i don't know your income. or even consider adoption. not to be all biblicle on you, but every life should get a chance to live it. NO ABORTIONS!! if you really think you'd be better off without another kid, then put him/her up for adoption

Answer 20

Good luck with what ever you decide hon, only you know the answer.. also good luck for the answers from the small minded that you're going to get on here!! xx

Answer 21

Well it seems like it would be the best case and if your soon to be ex is against it tell him to come and carry his weight, He was fine placing his p***s in you and having the whole sexual intercourse. He should be man enough to take responsibility for it. It sounds like if he isn't willing you don't want to being a new child in to that mess to where you wont or may not be able to take care of them all. But in the end its your body and your choice and i wish you the best of luck if you have any questions about the aborting process i can fill it in for you

Answer 22

If he isn't feeling the abortion then tell him it's up to him, either he pays the child support or you get an abortion because you can't afford another kid.

I hope you don't have to get one.

Answer 23

well, like other ppl here i think im in no position to give you any advise or help you make any decision. But then i think if you have any family members or close friends talk to them about it, maybe it can help you make a decision. Or you can talk to your husband or someone professional about it. You are not alone therefore you dont have to make a decision by yourself.

If you decide to keep the baby, never know, it may not be as bad as you think. God is always there so no matter what happens, everyone lives their lives the way they are destined to. So even though they may have to go through lots of difficulties, if he/she is destined to live and live happily and healthy, then no matter what happens, he/she will. And you never know what will happen tomorrow.

Take care & may god bless you and your kids!

Answer 24

Um why did you opt for a 3rd child when you are having financial problems?  

It seems that you made a poor choice, and now you have another hard choice to make.

Answer 25

Wow, why are your older kids more important than this one? The church will continue to help your family. They probably wouldn't advice the abortion, either. There is help available. Best wishes

Answer 26

This is your problem. Only you can make this desicion, like its your baby. I know what you mean. But if you are actually ready to put up with 3 kids on your own, you need a prize and a bagillion dollars. Because first you are going to have a baby, that is going to be waking you up on the nights, and then you aren't going to be able to sleep and are going to have to do it all, because your husband isn't with you. And during the say you are going to feel killed because of not sleeping during the night, and are going to have to take care of your other children. So what do you prefere?

This is up to you.

Answer 27

This is a decision only you can make. Go to the nearest Planned Parenthood Clinic. Sit down with the doctor or counselor and discuss your options. They care and will help you no matter what your decision is. Please understand that despite the noise from the compulsory pregnancy folks, abortion sometimes is the best option. You need to take care of the children you already have first in the best way you can.

Answer 28

Please don't get one of those abortion

I know what you are feeling almost

I am in a cheat hotel with two kids  

it is hard I love my two boys

I am praying for you