Pregnant and confused!?

Question

i'm 19, in uni and don't know what to do. i've got an emo bf (he does't cut himself and he's normal and i'm not emo) and i love him to death. we have been dating for around 4 and a half years and now i'm pregnant with him!!! i want to get an abortion because want to finish my studies and stuff, but doctors say

that i might not be able to have children again. when i told my bf he was'nt happy, or angry just surprised. he was and is very supportive and hasn't changed. he is still with me, and wants to help raise the child, even though he's also in uni. when i told him about getting an abortion he wasn't too happy, i would think that most men would be...

my parents want me to get the abortion and if i dont i know that they will throw me out on the street and with the money i earn from my and bf job we could hardly afford to rent a place let alone raise a child. i kinda want to keep the baby?

need help on what i should do!!!?

Answer 1

Hmm, I would advise abortion but maybe since you can't have kids. You need to finish your studies.

Answer 2

Don't be stupid and get an Abortion If anything have it and let someone who can't have kids adopt. Its not right to take a innocent child's life for your own selfish purposes.

Answer 3

I had my first child when I was 15. My second when I was 18, and my third at 22. I graduated high school and I went to tech school afterwards.

There are always ways to make ends meet. You have 9 months to plan and 6 months before you have to buy food for him/her.

There are programs out there to help you financially.

These are ones in the USA, I don't know where your from.

WIC (women, infants, and children) provides some nutritional food while you are pregnant and to the age of 5. If you don't want to breastfeed they provide formula. Baby cereal, milk/cheese, juice, eggs, and peanut butter. They do not provide baby food though. But you can just put some food in the blender and there you go.

There are food stamps and medicaid.

O and as for your parents... They are probably a little shocked right now. Even if they say that they probably wont. And once that baby is born and they hold him/her and look into their eyes and see how much they look like you or him...lol They will completely fall in love with him/her.

And there is always adoption. Especially if an abortion is going to hurt you. And this baby was made out of love. He/ she is a miracle and if you love this baby then you would want a life for it. Even if you aren't the one to give it that life.

I couldn't provide for my two oldest kids so I had to give them up for adoption. My aunt and uncle adopted them. It wasn't anything financially it was emotional and it had to do with my Ex. But anyways I know that they have a Mom and Dad that love them and that they are happy and healthy. And that is the main thing.

But my point is, is that there are other options other than abortion.

Below are links for WIC and FS. If they don't work then just google. That's what I did

Good Luck,

Connie

Answer 4

You can get financial support from certain places. I'm not sure how it works there, but in the US you can get Medicaid, WIC, etc. It varies by state. You should keep the child, this may be Gods way of telling you it's your time. Especially if you may not be able to ever have any more children. And your boyfriend is supportive of you, that is always a plus. Best of luck!

Answer 5

What is wrong with you that your doctors think you won't have kids again?  If you got pregnant once you can get pregnant again - abortion or not.  It's ultimately your decision and every day is ticking away.  If you choose an abortion you only have a limited amount of time. You have to weigh all your pro's and con's which it sounds like you have.  On one instance you won't have the guilt that abortions often bring - sometimes regret.  On the other hand if you have a baby then you won't be able to get back to school for a very long time and you're financially responsible for this small person for the next 18+ years.  It costs about $10,000 the first year of a baby's life (in general).  Your bf would probably also have to leave school to help you raise the baby or he'll leave you and go on with his goals for life and then you're stuck with the baby alone.  Just because he hasn't dumped you yet, doesn't mean that when the pressure gets too great later on (which it will) that he won't then.  Or once you're hugely pregnant that he won't cheat on you for someone who reminds him of how you USED to be.  If you can hardly afford to rent a place (plus food, plus furniture, plus utilities, plus the baby supplies) and your parents kick you out, then what are you going to do?  IMO - get your life together now and then raise a family later.  You may regret it and resent that child if you don't.

Answer 6

Abort it. If you can not give a child a proper life then you should not bring it into this world. Food stamp living sucks.

Answer 7

KEEP THAT BABY!!!  your a pretty much an adult now... you need to take on your responsibilities! PLUS abortion is murder and you will regret it!

Answer 8

What about giving the baby to a couple who are childless? Your baby would have a wonderful life and you could still pursue your studies. You could even find a couple who would send you pictures and updates if you wanted them too. My husband and I just adopted a baby. She is 9 months old and the light of our lives. I am watching her play as I type this. We send her biological mother pictures every few months.

Answer 9

You need to get a second opinion from another doctor. You probably ran into an anti-choice, bigoted religious zealot who was trying to scare you out of an abortion. You need to do this NOW.

It sounds like you think that an abortion is the right thing for you. Your parents agree. Only your boyfriend doesn't. And he is a fool. You said yourself that you (the two of you) can't afford to raise a child. You will not be able to provide for it. It would not be fair to the child to bring it into the world when you already KNOW that you can't provide for it.

Keeping this child is out of the question. Your only two choices are abortion and adoption. Think hard about which would be better for you. And think quickly.

Answer 10

wow! that's something you are going to have to decide on your own but i would definitely talk with a counselor or a support group to get some solid advice not ANSWERS wish you the best whatever you decide

Answer 11

Just tell your parents how you feel and they will understand. Tell them that this might be your last chance at having a child and you dont want to lose it. Every parent wants to be a grandparent. I doubt they would throw you out pregnant. If they do throw you out then maybe you can find a friend, or family member or maybe your bf family that would let yall stay there until the baby, so you can save up some money. Give your parents some time to get used to the idea. I wouldn't recommend the abortion though, especially if you don't want it. Don't let other people opinions or thoughts or anything make you do something you dont want to. You will just regret it for the rest of your life. Having a baby with someone you love is the MOST AMAZING thing in the whole world.  

Answer 12

Me personally, I'm against abortion. But if you want it, it's your choice.

But keep in mind that if the doctors say you might  not be able to have children if you do, they're probably right.

A baby is a wonderful gift, even if at times if may seem like a burden. My advice to you, talk to your boyfriend and if you two decide to keep the baby, focus on making life as pleasant as possible for your child, even if that means leaving school for a while.

However, if you two decide that you're not ready for a baby, give it up for adoption. Let someone who will love and cherish your baby have him or her.

Good luck.

Answer 13

You need to seek help from a impartial person you can trust.  A abortion in this day and age is a very safe medical procedure now unless you are talking about a late term abortion. take a day to think about and make a list of the pros and cons of having a baby now. look at what is in the best y interests of both you and your baby. Is adoption an option for you. Make sure you get BF's input to it is his baby to.

IF you do decide to keep it, it will be hard but it can be done.

Answer 14

your parents sound like real winners...

do whats in YOUR heart.  its your body, you are the one who will have to live with this decision for the rest of your life.  you will never regret having a child once its here, but there is good chance you WILL regret killing it.

Answer 15

Do what your heart tells you to do.

Answer 16

Your in college you would qualify for govt. assistance (which I am normally against but in your situation you really need it). You can get rental assistance,food stamps and day care vouchers since your in school and you have no income. Just go to your local welfare office. You can still finish school with a baby, you just have to tap into the right resources. You have a good man on your side who wants you to have this baby and if you want to have it too then just have the baby. But if you don't and you really do become infertile later on when you are stable don't complain about how life isn't fair. Get the abortion if YOU really feel it is best but not for any other reason.

Answer 17

hun there is always a way and there is always some one  out there that can help if you want to keep your baby,

Try planned parent hood for advice your studies can wait a baby with a beating heart is some thing that is alive now.

I was 17 when i had my first the father dumped me and i was in college and working part time and i did it all on my own and she is now a 15 year old beautiful and loving daughter and I'm so glad i decided to keep her ,

Answer 18

You already know what to do. Why would you bring a child into the world if you cannot sufficiently provide for it?? Isn't that (in some cases) worse than just aborting it? Think about it. You may also want to consider adoption.  

Answer 19

Do what you think is best.  You have to look out for yourself at the end of the day, remember that!