Pregnant and dating..help with how to handle it?

Question

I'm 17, almost 18 and I'm about 2 months pregnant. I've dating my current boyfriend for a little over 7 months. Everything used to be really amazing with us. Ever since I found out i was pregnant he's changed. Gotten meaner and more violent. He's been kinda rough with me. It scares me sometimes. I know he's not doing it purposely, cuz I'm kinda small 5'5 and he's 6'5 and a HS line backer. So I know its not on purpose he just gets carried away. Anyways he's been leaving me more. Like breaking up with me, then the next day he'll come back and say sorry. Honestly I can't handle the stress anymore. But I can't break up with him. I don't want my child without a father.

what I really wanna know is how can i fix it.

and will it get better once the baby is here?

help please!

Answer 1

you need to ask yourself if you want this unpredictable, violent gut to be anywhere near your newborn infant...i'd say absolutely not. just because he's the father doesn't make him capable to actually father the child. he sounds like bad news. also, consider the future.who knows how he'll be. maybe better maybe worse. think it over and talk with him. if he's any kind of decent he'll listen and understand

Answer 2

THAT STRESS U GOINGG THROUGH U PUTTING UR BABY THROUGH THAT I KINDA WENT THROUGH WHAT UR GOIN THROUGH I'M 8MONTHS PREGNANT NOW IT CANT B FIXED IF U AND HIM R MEANT TO B TOGETHER U WILL BUT FOR THE BABY SAKE STOP STRESSING BEFORE U MISCARRY

Answer 3

I think he really loves you... but like you hes having a difficult time if he is the father.  Tell him exactly how you feel and what he is doing to you and your baby cause stress will only do bad for all of you. Give him a chance to improve and if he doesnt I bet you are smart enough to leave him.  Chances are  that a better person will take care of you and your kid if the father doesnt want to.  Take good care and dont let nothing bring you down. Be proud of yourself

Answer 4

Get out while you can it will only get worse once the baby is born , sorry to say.

Answer 5

sounds li ke you put yourself in a really f*u*c*k*e*d  up situation why would you even have s*x with this guy knowing all that. yeah he sounds like a good guy right you need help if you tell his mom your pregnant and she trys to kick you thats crazy . okay why didn't you get on birth control insted of using a condom I don't think any guy would change once  there is a kid involved just think that would make your life a little worse.

well you want your kid to have a dad you have to try but it's not gonna last forever at least untill the baby is six hope longer good luck.  hope it works out the way you want it to.

Answer 6

well this is the story of the majority of every women's life.. get pregnant and the guy gets violent

my mums sister was beaten to death by her husband when she was pregnant.. so just be careful, you can never determine just how violent someone might turn out

the violence happens for a number of reasons

this was an unplanned pregnancy and you are both young.. he might feel tied down to you, as though he no longer has a future because of this baby.. which means when ever he sees you he will feel enormous anger, even though it wasnt just your fault this happened, it was his fault as well.

with married couples the violence normally happens because the guy is jealous of this own baby. because all the attention has diverted away from him onto this new (yet unborn) baby.. and with this comes cheating because they crave attention and will go out to find someone else who will give them the same attention that you once did

Answer 7

If he isn't here for you now. what makes you think he will be there for you when you really need him? I say in all fairness of course, that you do not need negativity in your life. Having a child is energizing and amazing. Feel the positive energy. People can depend on themselves and not need to settle for a negative person who seems to have his own inner demons to contend with.

Answer 8

Handle it with a coathanger and some Vicodin.

Answer 9

If i was you,  i would leave. he's being rough with you? and you are 5.5" imagine what he would do with a 7 lb baby ? i dont think thats what you want your baby to grow up with. i know you dont want your kid without a father, but sometimes its better that way...you want your bf to all of a sudden turn violent, say hes sorry and then you take him back just so it all happens again. its not about you and your bf any more, its about this baby that you are bringing into this world and what best for him.....this is a complicated problem, cuz no one here knows you both personally and we can only add our 2 cents, my best of wishes to you and please, think about your kid, like i said, its not so much what you want, but what its best for you kid

Answer 10

I lived a very similar situation to yours 13 years ago. He is doing it on purpose because he is resentful of the fact that your choice to have his child is going to change his life. He is no longer in control of his situation and this makes him angry. He leaves because deep down he is not a total jerk and knows he is pushing beyond reasonable limits. If you stay through the violence you may not have a fatherless child, you may not have a child either or worse.  You cannot fix him. It just cannot be done. We all have to grow up and we all do it in our own time. He clearly is not ready. I hope things will get better when the baby is born but it is not likely or ever reasonable. Why would it get better? What would be easier? Its not like he is under stress because you are growing a human inside of you. You physical transformation has no bearing on him. Its the idea of what happens next that is racking him. When the internal growth that he cannot actually see is over and the external growth that he WILL have no other choice but to see (i.e the actually baby is present) is here things will be harder, realer and stressful on him. He will from that point on have no other choice but to be a father and a man.  Young men don't typically think like we do when we are young pregnant and in love... Like, "Oh, this is hard on me, im tired, my body is going out of wack and my friends are going out partying while i cant but it'll all be worth it when my precious lil mix of me and Mr Almost Wonderful Big Biceps gets here...." Nope my friend, they think,"Wow, i have to get a job, no college, did i really want to be with her forever, what is my momma, or grammy gonna say about her.... oh maybe they will watch the kid so i can go play ball with the guys.... basicly S#!t and i want out"

I just think he sounds mean, confused, and not ready...and i dont think the birth of your child is going to clear any of that up.

Answer 11

The stress really isnt good on the baby.

I think your bf is stressed, talk to him about it. Let him know that you need to work through this together and it wont work without both of you communicating.

Ask him whats wrong. I'm sure hes just scared about being a father, I'm guessing this baby wasn't planned.

Tell him the violence isnt tolerated.