Pregnant and getting married?

Question

My fiance and I are getting married in late November of this year. It's going to be a small B&B wedding with only close family and friends (we were both married before to other people, both were quick city hall weddings). However, I've just found out that I am pregnant. We did plan to start a family after we get married but I am a bit nervous that this is happening several weeks before the wedding. My fiancee is beyond happy but I don't know what to do. I don't know how to approach my devout Christian family about this. However, it's not like we're in our late teens. We're in our mid 20s and not as religious. My mom seriously want me to lose the extra weight before the wedding (I'm a bit chubby to begin with).

I'm just very stressed out that people would think it's a shotgun wedding (because of the size) when it's not.

Answer 1

Sorry I don't have advice on how to tell your mother to get over herself, which is what she needs to do.  However in my opinion is you are showing at the time of the wedding don't try and hide it at all.  They make some lovely wedding gowns designs for expecting brides.  If you try and hide it then it looks more like it was supposed to be a quick shotgun wedding where you accidentally got pregnant.  I just think being proud of the fact your having a baby makes you look better...and anyone who tries to say something look like the *** they are.

Answer 2

You don't have to tell anyone about the pregnancy before the wedding.  You stated that you're already a bit chubby, so they probably won't notice, yet. And after you're married, I don't think anyone will care when you conceived.  Your family will just be thrilled about the new addition to the family.

Answer 3

My daughter was 5 months pregnant when her devoutly Christian brother who is a minister officiated her wedding.

Don't worry, you family will understand and they know (as you do) that there is no such thing as a "shotgun" wedding these days.

Congrats!

Answer 4

just don't tell anyone! blame not losing weight on stress or somethin

Answer 5

You won't start showing til about 12 weeks and even then it will be minor.  Hon, don't stress....just get a big bouquet (that is what they are for , ya know) and hold it over your belly!  Best Wishes!

Answer 6

Evidently your fiance likes you just the way you are, so don't worry about the weight. Tell mom that you where told that it is not a good idea to start an exercise program because it tends to put more weight on you (muscle weighs more than fat) and will make the dress fit different. It really doesn't matter what anyone will think, this is your life.   After all I have seen people 8 months pregnant walking down the aisle, so you are going to be just fine. Keep your news between you and your wonderful man, until later.  

Answer 7

There is no way anyone will notice, just get an empire style dress if you are really concerned. It would work wll because the wedding is smallish anyways. Have an early wedding, brunch or lunch,  without alcohol and no one will even wonder why you aren't drinking.

Something like this is perfect for a garden wedding:

http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridal_gowns...

http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridal_gowns...

Answer 8

You don't need to explain yourself to anyone, I'm sure your close family and friends already know that you're planning on getting married already.  Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean that you don't have to eat healthy.  I was overweight with my son and ate really healthy, I only ended up gaining 17 pds. and lost a clothes size after giving birth.  Enjoy your pregnancy and your wedding and don't worry about judgemental people...I'd say, shame on them!

Answer 9

It's none of their business. If they ask, simply smile and say nothing. You don't have to explain anything to anyone about anything, now or in the future. It's YOUR wedding. Do it the way YOU want to. If they don't like it, it's THEIR problem not yours. congratulations on the wedding and the baby.

Answer 10

Well if you feel like it will change people's view on your wedding, don't say anything. Keep it a surprise until after you get married and are back from your honeymoon. Don't let the overwhelming fear ruin your wedding day or time after. If you are worried about your dress, wear a dress that has an empire waist that way if you have gained any curvaciousness, the high waist will not flatter that. You will be beautiful and everyone can share the day with you without questionable thoughts during the ceremony!! Good luck!  

Answer 11

Don't tell anyone. It is no one's business but yours. We did years ago and no one even asked about the "premature" birth.  

Answer 12

If you carry the baby to term, anyone with ten fingers will be able to know your secret There are no eight pound premies.. You might look at your oldest siblings birth date and your parents wedding date.

If it were me, I'd go to my parents and fess up. What are they going to do, kick you and their first grandchild out of the church?

What is, is. Move the date of your wedding up a little.

Answer 13

I am in the same situation, my fiance and I were engaged for a while before and I found out before our wedding that I am pregnant. First of all Congratulations, even if the timing is off it is still very exciting. There are a few people who have said something about a shotgun wedding but over all most people have been very supportive. As for telling your parents, you definitely have to but just stress to them that you just found out, and Im sure they will be supportive, because even if they see it as a mistake there is nothing really that can be done about. Personally I found that people took there cue from us the more excited we are about it the more supportive and excited they are. I was shocked how supportive everyone has been, ever my brother who in a evangelist. So good luck!!

Answer 14

Well, you may want to choose not to tell anyone until after the wedding. You're not gonna start showing at 3 months, anyway.

You have to figure that this won't be the first or the last time you do something that your parents don't agree with. You are an adult, and it's entirely within your rights to withhold or share this information as you please, and make your decision based on YOUR beliefs, not someone else's. If your parents are normal well-adjusted people, they will understand and be happy for you regardless of whether or not they would have made the same choice. And if they are not well-adjusted, it's probably for the best to keep them out of your personal life as much as possible, anyway.

Answer 15

A couple weeks ago my fiance and I had a pregnancy scare and we were going over different options of how to handle the situation.  What we decided on was to not tell anyone until after the wedding.  We both have very devout Christian families as well and I knew that if I told people all they would be thinking throughtout the whole wedding was about me being pregnant, not the fact that we are celebrating our love.  People are just naturally judgmental, especially Christians (which is ironic, but that's a whole different topic).  

Do what you think is best.  If you are one of those people who doesn't care what other people think (I wish I could be more like that) then go for it.  Sit down and have a talk with your family.  If you would rather just deal with that part later and focus on the wedding, then keep it between you and your fiance.  It is your news to tell whenever you want. =)

As far as the dress goes, they have some really great restricting corsets at David's Bridal that you could wear the day of the wedding and you shouldn't show too much.  Those of us that are carrying a little extra weight hide pregnancy a little better anyway

Answer 16

Don;t worry about what other people think. If they can't see that you and your fiance love each other, it doesn't mean you love each other any less. You will need to break it to your family in whatever way is easiest for you.. Let them rant and rave if they must, but remember that it is your life to live. They will get over it. You expressed your love with your fiance, and now a baby is coming. It sounds like you are happy about the baby beyond the family and wedding messiness, so just hold your head high and remember the important thing: you will love your fiance and your child, and you now have two happy occasions to look forward to!

Oh, and don't feel bad if you still want to wear white. THe white wedding dress came about to show how rich a girl was, not how "pure". If thats what makes you feel bridal, don't worry about it. Its a dress, not a statement about your s*x life. Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable.

Hide the tummy and wait until after the wedding, or fess up and show it off. Do whatever makes you feel most comfortable.