Pregnant and my husband is already setting rules!!!!!?

Question

Im 8 months pregnant and very happy its my first baby and its a boy!!! anyways the other day I was telling my husband that I just couldnt wait to have the baby so that I can take him out for strollers walk, and he said "Dont even think about it, you have to stay home, I dont want you going out by yourself and the baby" I was like OMG!!! he is already prohibiting me of things! first he didnt let me choose my baby's name, he said hes the man of the house and he chooses it! I still cry when I think of that, I always dreamed of choosing my baby's name or atleast agreeing on one, and now I get so depressed just from thinking that when my baby arrives I will have to do what he says!! Im so sad. I dont understand why he is doind this to me.

Answer 1

Pretty much what everyone else said is true..You can change this & do NOT have to do anything he says.

Answer 2

READ THAT POST ^^^^

Answer 3

Guess what? The mom has all the control in the hospital. If you two can't agree on a name then don't sign the birth certificate. You have the choice to even throw your husband out of the room. This is your time in the spotlight.

Tell him now that you want to decide on a name together. After the baby is a couple weeks old I see no reason for you to sit home all day with baby. I see babies who are 1 week old in church all the time, at the park, etc... As long as you have a good stroller baby can lay down in and be completely covered by a sunshade, what is the big deal?

If he is controlling you can always run in the night. He is verbally abusing you and you can get help.

Answer 4

He is doing it, (because he's a jerk) because YOU are letting him, if you can't stand up to him, now, how will YOU protect your child, when you husband has him doing thing you don't agree with.

No one can MAKE you or FORCE you call YOUR child a name you don't want. Put your foot down now. Choose a name, refuse to register you childs name, unless you approve of it. IF your husband chooses a name you don't like, refuse to call the child by that name.

Go where you flippin well like, refuse to be told what to do.

Get support and help, you are in charge of another life now, get your big girl pants on and set your boundaries. Seek counselling for you and your husband. Why are you ALLOWING him to do this to you??? Take responsibility for YOUR part in the relationship.

Sorry to sound so tough, but don't give YOUR power away, it's too precious and now another life is depending on YOUR strength. What are you going to teach the next generations......that women are door mats? to be controlled? have no say? that partners don't have to care about each other tender feelings? that the person who should be protecting you the most, is in fact the person who is hurting you? that husbands 'control' their wives??.......................do you want to teach your sons and daughters to feel this way?

Seek support and help.

Wishing you a lot of love and support. Keep safe. Congratulations on your baby, hope all goes well.

Edit: I'm old fashioned, my husband IS the head of our family, as long as he has the families, BEST INTERESTS at heart...ie as long as he's acting righteously and lovingly. I walk beside him, NOT behind him. We counsel each other. We joke he's 'the head' and I'm 'the neck' ...one's not good without the other. Being each others best friend. It is NOT about one ruling the other, EVER.

Answer 5

YOU DONT HAVE TO DO WHAT HE SAYS.......WE ARENT IN THE AGES OF SLAVING ANYMORE.

Answer 6

Honey, he sounds way too controlling, and if he's going to demand you to raise YOUR baby the way he wants it, f*ck him. This is your life, not his, and this is your babies life you have to think about. Do you really want your child being raised in an environment where he does everything he's told to do? How's that going to effect him when he's older? As for the name, I don't think he could very well tell you his name has to be such and such. My ex boyfriend was a d*ck when it came to trying to come up with a name. When I originally thought my baby was a boy, I wanted to name her Edward. He hated it, and would not drop it. He wanted Damien and I just didn't feel right. Well, he nagged so much saying he had just as much right choosing the name and he hated Edward, we couldn't come up with another name together that we agreed on, and he made me feel like so much **** I eventually went with Damien. Well, when I started having doubts and thinking she was a girl, I tried to come up with a girls name with him too...didn't work. At all. I was giving myself a headache trying to come up with the perfect girls name and he just up and denied them all without a seconds thought. He didn't contribute and just kept saying "we have plenty of time", no, we didnt. We had 2months, and that isn't enough time. I eventually said f*ck him and chose the name myself. He b**ched at me for it, saying it was unfair, trying to get me to change it, and I just up and said no.

Her name is now Ahyla Madison. Know why? Because I didn't let him at the hospital, and I filled out the papers.

Don't let him control you and run your life the way he seems to be doing. It's unfair, and you don't need that. This is your one chance at having a life, and he's controling it. &It won't be long before it's your childs life he's controling next.

Either sit him down and have a nice conversation telling him he's not superior to you and to back the f*ck off, or think about what kind of situation you're in and what is best.

Answer 7

You need to take a stand NOW. The more you allow him to set rules, the more rules he is going to set.

Your husband obviously already views you as weak and easily controlled - is that how you want to be viewed? Are you an equal partner in this marriage or not?  

And if you let your husband control every move you make, how long will it be before your son realizes you're a doormat and he begins to treat you like one as well? Do you want your son thinking it's okay to control and dominate women? How will you feel when your son is treating his wife the way your husband is treating you?

You need to take a long, hard look at yourself and decide how you want to be treated. You should demand respect from your partner, and he should be willing to give it. Put your foot down about the things you really care about, and do it now before he ends up having so much control over you that you become an empty, battered shell of a woman. You tell him immediately that you WILL be taking walks with the baby when he's born, and you tell your husband immediately that you WILL choose your own child's name. And you tell your husband that if he doesn't like it, that's too darn bad.

But it sounds like you are already on your way to losing your individuality. You're already feeling sorry for yourself, and you've already allowed him to begin asserting control over you. If you don't grow a spine very quickly, you will probably end up a beaten and broken woman, and your relationship will never be what you envisioned it to be on the day you got married.

This is your life, you need to be in control of it.

Good luck to you.