Pregnant and need opionions... NOW...

Question

Okay... I'm 11 weeks pregnant. My baby's father and I have known each other about 7-8 years, dated much of the last 2. Pregnancy was not planned. All we do is fight. He's controlling. He doesn't want me to talk to my friends or family. He calls me names. He's not always nice to my children. He's been unemployeed for 3.5 months and isn't really trying to find a job. He doesn't often help around the apartment (which is only a 2 room, we have been sleeping in the living room on a pull out sofa). I've kicked him out so many times.

Now that I've explained all that here is my problem. I don't know what to do. He always wanted children of his own. I have an 8 yr. old daughter and a 4 yr. old special needs son. I never wanted more children. He doesn't seem to care about the baby at all and has repeatedly said I should have an abortion since things between us are not going to work. My family and my close friends feel the same. My sister feels I should keep the baby. I thought about adoption, but with my daughter, I'm not sure it's something I could honestly go through with. I have a feeling the baby is a girl, and between me and my daughter's stepmom she has 4 brothers and no sisters... So I honestly don't know that I could go through with adoption after the baby was born...

Because of my special needs son, I honestly do not feel that I can take care of him and a baby. I cannot do this alone. I just can't handle it.

I have to decide by Monday... What are your opionions and advice? Thank you.

Answer 1

not to be mean but if adoption is not an option then u need to jus keep the baby. there is no point in killing an innocent child. u had the s*x so u need to handle the responsibility. u should have done something to prevent it. BIRTH CONTROL. people have hard times. u wont regret keeping it. But as for that man of yours. u should have lost him 2 years ago. u would u be wit a man thats not nice to your kids!!!! they come first. any mom should no that. he is a dead beat and always will be!!!!!!!

Answer 2

honey first you need to get rid of this jerk and focus on you and your children and if it takes getting a restring order to keep him away then that's what you do may I ask whats wrong with your son because I have a special needs son and some times it is very trying I know where you are coming from however you know in your heart whats best for you weather it is to keep the new baby or give it up for adoption just put it in God's hands he will take care of it were there is a will there is a way good luck to you and your children

would you be interested in speaking to me through email about my son you may have some beneficial information for me if not that's okay to  let me know and I will give you my email again thanks

Thanks it is [e-mail]

Answer 3

abortion isn't the answer even if its not going to work out with you & him. if you can't go through with an adoption do you really think that you could kill your own child? you already know the love of a child . a precious life that is in your hands. the baby didn't decide to come into this world you had s*x with a man that you've known & you know his ways its not the babys fault. Im not trying to be harsh but you already knew this about this man. You can't let the way a man is decide on if your going to keep your child. if you feel like you can't take  care of your little boy & a baby then choose adoption but i think you should keep the baby. You can do it, its your child. I've never been in your situation but i have said before so many times in trials of my own with my husband & children htat i just can't do this, how am i going to be able to handle it all, i can't do this by myself & what did i get myself into but in the end bc i love my children i get through it, God pulls me through it somehow, someway. I make it. the love that a mother has for her child is much stronger then the phrase "i can't".  you can you just have to have some faith in God & in yourself. Don't get rid of this baby that is going to turn out so beautiful because of the situation your in. It may be hard & you may struggle but you have the choice to do whats best & killing an innocent baby isn't whats best. If you are going to do anything keep it or give the baby up for adoption thats the least you could do. Giving a child up for adoption to someone that will care for him/her shows much more love then getting rid of the baby. Abortion is something that you can't take back that you will regret for the rest of your life. i really hope you listen to your sister on this one. As for the guy why do this to yourself? yes you've known him for a long time but dont be afraid to let him go, of being lonely. If he doesn't change his ways towards you & your children is it really worth having him around? If he says things aren't going to work then let him go don't let him choose this for you. You let him do this to you & he knows it. your going to have to make that choice for you & your children. Its never too late to make a better life, everyone makes mistakes. A better life doesn't always consist of money bc thats not what im talking about. You could always pray about this guy, that God will help you understand him better & him you, God has gotten me through so much & if it wasn't for God & prayer my marriage would have been gone along time ago. good luck to you

Answer 4

If you don't want to and don't think you can, and he doesn't' care either way, then maybe it is the best option for you, but make sure to weigh the pros and cons with your heart before you do it. Don't let anyone force you to do anything or tell you what to do or not to do, it's your decision, and you will not take it lightly.

Answer 5

I am a pro-choice kinda girl. I think you should do what's best for your situation and your life. Obviously bringing this baby into the world is going to create a lot of hardship for you, especially without having any support from the father. This baby will grow up in a very stressful and hard world. I don't exactly want to tell you to get an abortion, but i don't want you to keep it either. I really think adoption is the way to go. You can choose an adoption where the adoptive parents send you pictures and updates frequently. Putting the baby in a home where it can be loved and cared for properly with people who want it would be best. Do not put yourself through raising another child alone. Give him/her another life that can still include you. You know when he/she is old enough you can meet and spend time together! That's my opinion. Good luck with everything.

Answer 6

I'm very sorry to hear of your situation but everyone on here is desperate for a child so may not be able to give you the answer you want.......a lot of people will say you should have been on birth control if you didn't want a child......but it's too late for that and you don't need criticism right now.

Personally I say go with your heart, and I know how hard it must be with a special needs child with no help from your partner. If you really don't feel you can cope, adoption is a good answer, there are so many loving couples out there who are desperate for a baby and would give anything to be pregnant.

If you do decide to have an abortion, please don't wait any longer than you have to, as at 11 weeks your baby is pretty well developed.

I would suggest you seek counseling afterward because I have seen friends go through it and it is seriously difficult to get over.

I feel for you because I know this must be the hardest decision of your life.  

Wishing you all the very best, good luck and make sure you don't take anymore sh*t from that man x*x