Pregnant and scared please help

Question

my best friend is pregnant and she does not know who the father is. she is depressed and i dont know how she can care for the baby,she is not able to look after the baby herself she is 13 and is all alone please help.

Answer 1

If she can't look after the baby, the best thing would be to give it up for adoption.  But tell her NOT to get an abortion.I'd just say to support her and call her all the time and talk with her about the baby.  Try and make it seem fun.  Talk about names, gender, etc.  And make sure she knows she can talk to her parents.

And not to be offensive or anything, but why doesn't she know who the father is?  At thirteen, she shouldn't even be doing those kinds of things, never mind enough not to know who the father is.

Give her my best, and let her know that she is not alone.

Answer 2

Thirteen and she has slept with so many boys (cause if they are Men they should go to jail for statutory rape) that she can't finger the Pops?

If she is all alone, how did she get that way?

Well, enough of that, of course she is depressed, those pregnancy hormones and real life are smackig right up against each other.  

Look in the Yellow Pages under pregnancy alternatives and find an agency that will allow her to have her baby and give it up for adoption.  

Be her friend and support her in what ever decision she makes.  Listen to her when she is nuts with hormone overload.

Help her list all of the males that she has slept with and any information so she can try to narrow them down.  Some one has to be put on the birth certificate.

Peace

Answer 3

do they teach kids nothing in school...

parents aren't doing their jobs these days *tsk tsk*

Answer 4

Well the most important thing to do for your friend wether she wants you to or not is to tell her parents she needs support and help right now ok so tell her parents

Answer 5

i think i know this person....

Answer 6

wow!!!! how many people is she sleeping with at age 13 to not know who the father is??  unbelievable!!  she should talk to her parents and take responsibility for her actions!!

Answer 7

your friend not very smart for haveing

s*x a that age

talk to her about a dna test

Answer 8

How do you know she is pregnant? She doesnt live at home? If you know where she is send an adult over there like right now.

Answer 9

alright, 1st of all you have to tell her to tell her parents/ guardian, i know they will freak but this isnt something you can keep secret.  

Answer 10

she needs to talk to an adult that can help her out...

and then consider adoption

Answer 11

If I were you Id give her some options and let her think what she wants to do. Its her decision and no one should make it for her or she will blame them like forever and that includes you and every time later on when she gets a bit emotional she will blame3 herself and who evver made that decision for her. Once she is happy with the decision she has made and knows she has some help from her friends put her in contact with the local  minister or charity / aid agency and they will help her and steer her through this. She probable needs a doctor to go to too that is not her normal doc so you could help here there too. Good luck

Answer 12

What do you mean by all alone?  Is she alone because she can't/won't tell anyone. I agree that a 13 year old cannot take care of a baby...let alone take care of herself.  She should talk to her guidance counselor or a close teacher if she is at school or call a local women's shelter...Planned Parenthood. My next thought would be to tell her parents.  I am not sure what the laws are since she is underage.  Check into that.  Depression is also something that she should not mess with. That can create more stress for her.  Psychologically, she is probably not mature enough to handle this on her own and the more support the better she will be.  Is her family supportive of her in her other endeavors?  You need to talk to her about speaking to her family or a teacher that she feels will listen and provide assistance/ideas.  I teach 8th grade and have had a student come to me with the same issue.  Obviously, I was shocked...she was a great student but she had forgotten our little talk months earlier.  She was upset and her parents were the type of people that were not supportive.  We talked it out and I went with her to her guidance counselor.  From there, it was handled through the local women's center.  She ended up quitting school and went to live with her boyfriend.  She is still pregnant and doing okay....if that is the life she wants.  The women's center set her up with monthly check ups or well baby visits.  Look online or check the phone book.  Sometimes you can call anonymously and they will provide support.  Good luck and just try to be there for her...she needs a friend right now...and although her family may be upset or even angry with her...in the long run they may back her up and support her.  You never know.  

Answer 13

that is sad! a 13yr old pregnant and don't know who the father is.

Answer 14

Yikes... 13 and doesn't know who the dad is.

I would NOT go with abortion. She'll regret that forever. I would suggest adoption. Someone responsible and old enough for that responsibility is out there somewhere to give a good home.

Answer 15

How can she not know who the father is and she got pregnant really early in her age!  How is she all alone?  Did her parents die or something?  need more details................

Answer 16

Omg! Are you the same one that ask about the promise ring? Does she have parents that will help at all... If so, they will know what to do. If not, call a crisis hotline and get some advice...The main thing is, their are a ton of people in ths world that would love to have a baby that can't have kids and that can and would take good care of the baby like me..So, if she can't take care of the baby then she needs to give it up for adoption to someone that will love it and care for it. Tell your friend that it isn't the end of the world. She can do it, if she wants to. There are a lot of people and programs that will help her if she wants to keep it. She isn't the first lil girl to get pregnant and sadly she won't be the last. Good luck to your friend! I will pray for you and your friend! Be careful and don't make the same mistakes she did. You have to be sure you are able to care for a child before you have s*x.It happens!!

Answer 17

Amanda,

Firstly I would like to say how sad I am that she is in that situation. I am not going to get angry or rude. There is just no need for that.

My fist question is has she actually already had a pregnancy test (urine test) or does she just think she is pregnant?

If she is pregnant she will need to go to the doctor and have a blood test to find out what here hCG (pregnancy hormone) levels are. These hormones will rise. The furter along she is the higher the hormones. So the doctor will be able to tell how far she is. Also they will calculate this from the first day of her last normal period.

Finding out how far she is will indicate what options she has, and there are many options.

I'm from australia and here you can't really go to the doctor by yourself without a parent etc, until you are 14. So she will need to have a chat to her parents.

Perhaps you could contact the school councilor, Which I think is the best place to start right now. Ask the office ladies to help you make an appointment.

There should also be a plan parenthood centre near you they can give you advice.

I think its great that she has a friend like you who is standing by her in a time of need.

You really need to help her through this but I honestly don't think that you can both handle this situation alone. You will need professional advice and support. Her parents might be angry at first and disapointed but they will still love her and care about her.

Let us know how you go, my heart feels so heavy for you both.

xoxo

Answer 18

First of all don't listen to the other answerers (lol). She has options, depending upon what state you live in she can get an abortion,

she can go through with the pregnancy and put it up for adoption, or she can keep it. Don't listen to the people on here calling her a w***e and whining that its a life. The child would live a very unhappy life with no opportunities and it isn't a child its a collection of specialized cells. Have her go to a doctor (they are required by law to not tell anyone) and then call your nearest Plan Parenthood. Be strong and i hope she finds peace.

Answer 19

Her new best mate Kevin Rudd, that's the PM by the way will give you, oops I mean your friend $5000. Keep pumpin em out baby. Someone must be proud of you.

Answer 20

first of all wat type of a mother will leave her kids to ly around in peoples bed

Answer 21

Go to Planned Parenthood, they are very helpful professionals that will help her through her pregnancy. If she has parents she can talk to she should do it right away. Or talk to a close friend's parents or another adult she trusts. She's not alone, many girls go through this every day. Tell her to be strong, not only for herself but for her darling little baby.

Best wishes <33

Answer 22

13 is a tender age i would say go to her parents or even your parents since your her best friend and ask for help

Answer 23

well.....how many guys has she slept with...figure it out like that.....i would try and tell my parents dude

Answer 24

have her get in touch with WIC, they will give emotional support, food stamps, free stuff for baby, etc,....

Answer 25

Well tell her that she has to inform the parents cause they will know what to do...you also might want for her to consider giving the baby away once she is born if she cannot care for it...

                 Sorry for the unfortunate accident

Answer 26

She's obviously not all alone if she doesn't know who the father is.

She must know lots of people.

That's just sad, not knowing the father at the age of thirteen.

Best wishes.

Answer 27

Well if one plays with fire one will get burned. If she is old enough to have s*x, and obviously not with just one guy she is old enough to deal with the consequences.

She needs to go see a dr straight away to find out how far along she is, and to have a check up.

Answer 28

As her best friend you need to be there for her.

She has to tell her parents, it will seem difficult for her to tell them but they will get used to the fact that she is pregnant.

She needs to go to the doctors who will make sure that she has the correct amount of folic acid which is needed for the baby to help prevent spina bifida and will organise midwife and scan appointments.

There are a lot of support groups for single mums, the doctor should be able to give her details about those.

How can she be alone? She isn't alone, she has you for one, her best friend.

She may feel alone and scared but she can get through this, she has to carefully decide if she wants to keep the baby, do not let her get pressurised into doing what someone else wants.

Even at 13 it is possible to be a good mum, I believe that age doesn't play a part in how good of a parent someone is.

Abortion is not always the best idea, the emotional turmoil it will cause her will last a life time, she will be haunted by it forever.

She needs as much support as she can get right now, she isn't alone, I'm sure she has others friends aswell as you and family that care about her.

She needs to help herself aswell and start taking responsibility for the life that she created (it isn't all down to the guy!)

Having a baby will make her grow up fast, which I can't say is a bad thing.

Also tell her to use protection next time she sleeps with someone, even though she shouldn't be at her age.

  

Answer 29

srry to seem rude but 13...??? why not give the baby up for adoption???

Answer 30

why are you asking us for help? shes YOUR friend and you need to be the one standing by her. weather she wants to or not you need to tell a trusted adult or doctor. she cant care for the baby and thats why you need an adult.

Answer 31

well if she is unsure about the pregnancy talk to her about adoption she will be making sure that child will have an amazing life that she wouldnt be able to give him i hope she makes the right choice good luck helping your friend