Pregnant but think I am in love with somone else...please help? Should I marry?

Question

I am 26 years old and am 21 weeks pregnant. The father of the baby is a great guy, one of a kind, super....he is a teacher and is a loving person. I know he will want marriage in the future. The thing is I have always said that the love of my life was a man I dated for 4 years, we broke up 4 or 5 years ago but I know that I will never love someone like him and we are. Before i was pregnant I was ok with it, I didnt love him the way I loved him like I did but I knew that I would never love anyone like I loved him. But now I feel sad over him. I feel guilty because my current boyfriend the one that I am pregnant by is a great guy and he doesnt it. I loved my current boyfriend but now I feel confused like I dont love him anymore? All of this started after the pregnany. Should I marry him?

Answer 1

Don't think about marriage until that baby is born. Your hormones are all over the place, don't make any rash decisions.

Answer 2

NONONO.....it is not the time to make life altering decisions!! your vulnerable and hormonal and rash decisions are not the answer!

having a baby is a BIG change and is bound to make you second guess everything.... all your choices....

if you dont take your sweet time thinking about this you will come to doubt your choice down the line!

Answer 3

In a relationship, it is normal to have it's ups and downs. I would sit down and contemplate about your options carefully. While doing that, think about all the times you've spent together and think about if you feel he is marriage material. I wouldn't rely on others for advice. As I always say, "Listen to other people's advice, but take your own."

Good luck!

Answer 4

Give things time. I felt the same when I was pregnant but after I had the baby, I was ok. Sometimes it can just be hormones. Once you've had the baby and your body and mind are back to normal then decide. Don't settle for second best but don't make any rash decisions (trust me) you won't be in a normal state of mind for a while yet!

Answer 5

Tell your other (ex?) boy friend your pregnant and see how he react, if he is the same man and still loves you, if not you know who to go to.

If you re current boyfriend really loves you he'll let you go and welcome you back.

Answer 6

A: Don't ever marry someone just because you've gotten pregnant by them.

B: Don't ever feel obligated to marry someone.  Marry who you want to marry.  It's not fair to the father of the baby for a woman who's obviously in love with someone else to marry him under false pretenses.

Answer 7

Lola, if you feel that you are "settling for second best" you should not marry the guy you are currently dating.  That would be totally unfair to him - especially since you describe him as "a great guy, one of a kind, super".  Don't you think he deserves better than that?

As for your former boyfriend, where has he been all this time??  Four or five years ago you guys broke up.  Apparently he has moved on...

Right now you need to focus on getting your own head straight because you will soon be a mom, and a tiny infant, who has had no say in any of this, will be depending on you for everything.

Good luck and please make these life-altering decisions carefully, thoughtfully, and with compassion.  Do NOT do to someone else what you would not want done to you.

Answer 8

Pregnancy makes your hormones and emotions change A LOT!! Before you do or say anything that could ruin your life or your babies life I would think on it, atleast wait until after you have the baby. I think you'll change your mind once you and your babies father have that beautiful baby in your arms!! Good luck!!