Pregnant ex wants to come back?

Question

I wrote a question earlier and still wanted more input, here the scenario. Me and my ex girlfriend were together for almost 6 years. we split up for around 2 and half months ago. I recieved a txt from her, that she was sorry and wanted to come back home and work things out. She also then says she has been seeing someone, and apologized. She seems very sincere. And if we can work it out, she would dust him off. So I agree, and about 3 or 4 days later I come home and all her belongings are packed up. I asked her whats wrong and she tells me that she took a pregnancy test and its positive, and it is the other guys baby. After thinking about this, Ive come to the this conclusion, I love her unconditionally, and I know she loves me . And I am willing to accept any mistakes and start fresh and clean. And when this baby is born, I would love and treat this child as my own. Is that wrong? She feels that she needs to be with the babys father. I think that you should be with who you want to be with, and being pregnant should niot be a deciding factor. I told her how I felt about this sitiuation and poured my heart out to her. all i get in return is she is stressed confuzed and doesnt know what to do. I know alot of you are going to tell me to leave her and walk away. But I Want her to tell me to walk away. As of now, she still comes over after work, we still go out to eat, we still chill and talk. But when we start getting deep into this issue, she begans to cry and get all stressed out. What should I do, I want to keep her, but I feeling that pressing the issue is driving her away, how do I not lose her. Definitley she is the lvoe of a lifetime.

Answer 1

Wow, what a situation.

Well, personally, I would definitely continue trying to work this out (aka stick around). She seems really stressed and you should be there to support her through these difficult decisions, as you already seem to be. If you really love her and know you can accept the child as your own, make sure she knows it. It will mean a lot. Also, I think that just because it's someone else's baby doesn't mean she must be with this person. You should always be with who you love, and if she wants the father to be involved it can be an open relationship with YOUR child. It doesn't matter if the child has his DNA, it's still YOURS and hers and you two would be raising it with your love. If she decides she doesn't want him involved, the most you'll see is a child support check in the mail. I'm not sure why she would want him involved as it complicates things as the child gets a bit older, but it's her decision (as well as yours, if you two continue your relationship together).

Good luck with this situation!

Answer 2

I agree with what you are trying to say. But I would wonder if the reason she gets all upset when you press the subject is because she's not serious about being with you? It seems like things must not have been going too well with the other guy so she came back to her comfort zone-you. It's really hard when you've known one thing for such a long time and then just have it be gone. So in my opinion, I would be led to believe that she never had serious intentions of being with you again. I would think that things go rough with the other guy so she came to the one thing that was always her gravity.

Why did you guys break up? For those six years did you have a pretty good relationship? If you did, I would just keep trying to talk to her. She's probably really scared and confused about what to do...not to mention hormonal from the pregnancy. If you guys were good together, then keep trying, you were brought back together for a reason. And even if her intentions were like I said above, she may just not realize what is best for her yet. If you guys had a rough relationship together, then I would write her off. You needn't waste time on a lost cause.  

Answer 3

u seem pretty sincere

well u either want to be a part of her life or u dont

but u seem like u could take on the role

good luck i think u shud stay

Answer 4

if you are honestly willing to accept this baby as your own, then I see no problem. HOWEVER, make it clear that you go on the birth certificate and make this baby your's legally so he cannot come back later to haunt you. Maybe you and her relocating would be a great idea too, a new place, new page of your lives together. You can never throw it in her face though, sounds like she's very confused but she also knows her mistakes, chose you, then she finds this out so she feels bad all over again. She wants you it sounds, but she needs to see a doctor, maybe even you all need to see a therapist together to get this worked through in all the right ways if you want a good life together with this baby. I really do wish you alot of happiness and luck, not many guys like you left out there, lol, with a heart I mean.

Answer 5

wow you'd actually be willing to take her even though it is someone else's baby????

is she sure of this? I mean if you guys only broke up 2 months ago it could be yours!!!!!

of course she's confused...

you guys broke up after six years, she rebounded and either got knocked up by you or by the other guy

and she's not sure how to handle it...

was she trying to have a baby with you before?

is her parents or religious belief telling her she needs to stay with him?

does he know it could be his baby?

will he hurt her physically or emotionally?

is he more financially stable or are you?

these are all things to bring up gently to her to find out her thinking...don't get upset if you don't understand she probably doesn't either....

if paternity is an issue go get tested...

maybe it's something else like rape and she's not for abortion and life's a mess trying to keep a facade up

don't know....

other than that prove you want to keep her obviously she's not sure about that because you guys were together for six years and you never committed before so why now?

offer her support and info about getting child support, paternity tests, baby care etc.... RESEARCH!!! the more sense you can give her the more she can trust you and rely on you....

if you really mean it...

are you prepared to bust your butt for it?

Answer 6

Stay.  Away.

It appears that she doesn't really want you.  Let her go, and don't look back.