Prenuptial Agreement?

Question

I am engaged, but I also have some worries, primarily in these two categories and wonder if a prenuptial agreement makes sense.

1. Financial Situation

My fiance has quite a bit of debt, and even though he has a higher paying job than I do, he is not able to save money while I am able to save quite a bit. Plus, he has a child from a previous marriage that he has to pay child support for. I am hesitate to go into marriage, and certainly don't want to pay for his debt and child support.

2. Child

His child lives in another country. He used to visit twice a year, but last year and this year (so far) he has visited once. I know he values the time he has with her a lot, but it costs a lot to go there and to take time off work (no income). I think things need to be compromised somewhat once we are married for our new family, but is wondering how I should I approach this issue.

Answer 1

there is nothing to approach.....it is what it is; 2)  he has a daughter who lives out of the country, he will spend the money to visit her.....1) he is irresponsible with money...he will always be.....

you need to decide if either of these are show stoppers or if you want to be the bread winner of your family for years to come.......you should be hestitating to marry this man.......

Answer 2

I think a prenup is a great idea. There are too many people who end up getting screwed because of money. Unfortunately so many marriages end up in divorce. There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself.

Answer 3

It comes under the heading of Things We Settle Before We Get Married. I don't mean you just have a little talk and sort of agree in principle. I mean you get full buy-in. And I'm not sure there can be anything that you can be sure he'll stick to later.

(It's not a Prenuptial Agreement, as in the legal paper. That's to settle issues should you divorce. There's no such thing that's binding during the marriage for all the stuff that might be problems. If you get married, the money both of you make is for both to control and spend. You'll therefore be paying the child support and debt, since it will be coming out of this money that under joint control.

The visits won't be a big deal once he's cleared his debt. Does he want you bad enough to put everything he has into clearing it? One way to find out.  

Answer 4

Yes you should always protect yourself.

Answer 5

If you are having these doubts DO NOT get married.  Consult with a lawyer about how to write up an iron clad prenup and if he won't sign, do not take him and his issues on as your own.

Answer 6

true what the first one said...but if you love him enough to become one with him in marriage then you become one in finances...you take partial responsibility for his debt now so help clear it up and make sure it does not repeat it self again..good luck in your decision

Answer 7

why does the kid not come here to visit?  are you sure you aren't wife number 2?  I know of it happening through friends.  secondly, if  you want a prenump maybe this is not the guy for you.  If  you were head over heels in love you wouldn't even consider divorce.  remember that this time in your relationship is the best that it will get, if there are issues already imagine it when your both exhausted with 2 kids, a dog, a hamster, an elderly parent downstairs screaming for the remote, and absolutely no desire to have s*x this month.  Is this what you really want?