Preschool boy hitting at school? ?

Question

My 3 yr old son is usually a very aggressive little one. I keep my eyes peeled whenever he plays with other younger kids. Now after 6 months , he is listening and trying not to hit ,but use his words. But he started to go to preschool for three days now. First day he hit one boy , I told him firmly that we don't hit friends , and ask him to say sorry to the boy .So he went and asked sorry the next day and he was so happy the boy smiled back. The third day again he hit a small girl for five times in school. His teacher told me after school hrs. I didn't know what to tell the teacher. But i called my son and told him to say sorry again to her. He said and came back. So for last two days poured lectures over him and cut his fav pizza. Tmrw he will go to school again. What do i nee to tell the teacher to make sure that he wont repeat his behavior? i am wondering why she didn't take any action other than telling me? How could he do hit for five times with adult present? Initially i didn't want to make a big deal about it which might make my son get more attentionn. But now i dont know what to do?

Answer 1

You can't bribe your kid with pizza and expect him to not hit the other kids.  That's like rewarding him for bad behavior!  He needs to get punished every single time he hits someone and given pizza when he can make it through a  week WITHOUT HITTING!  

Answer 2

tell the teacher to warn you ever time he hits a otherkid

and tell him that if he hits a otherkid no pizza and only vegies. and stuff he doesnt much like. then if he doesnt do it for a whole week buy him a toy or pizza

Answer 3

Perhaps you can have the teacher note when the hitting occurs / have the teacher note what is making him hit

  

Maybe he needs something i.e. a pipe cleaner  to keep his hands buys during circle/



Reward him for days he does not hit maybe you and the teacher can work out a sticker chart/reward him for being good

Do not BRIBE him

Teach him to use his words and not his hands

Tell him when he is angry and is about to hit squeeze his hands together or go in a corner and look at a book to calm down/count to 10/ That way he learns to control his anger.

Answer 4

Ok as a preschool assistant I can tell you that the teachers hands are tied. The preschool i work at has a NO disipline policy. We can redirect the child to do something else and talk to them about their 2nd steps, meaning to calm down and think about your emotions before acting. After that all that we can do is to bring it to your attention that your child is hitting. Keep talking to your son and if your preschool uses the 2nd step program ask about it and how you can help your child learn more about it.  Telling the teacher ANYTHING won't stop the behavior. You have to work on it at home as well.

As for how can your child hit someone 5 times in a day...well in my school there are 2 teachers for each 17 kids (3 year olds) Your eyes can't be everywhere. There are times if a child gets hurt in our class they pull our tapes to make sure that we couldn't have stopped it somehow. Please be assured that your child's teacher is more than likeley doing everything to ensure the safety of all the children and ask for her suggestions on things to do and talk about at home. Good Luck and I hope it helps.

Bethany

Answer 5

Hi

I think a question to be answered is why your son hits.  Since it is a form of communication, what exactly is he trying to say.  Role playing and developing the vocabulary to address the situation might also be helpful.  Perhaps these hard-working and caring teacher can give you some insight to help you.  It is also helpful when the school and the home work together to develop a plan of intervention and training that helps children learn to mange their world and themselves in a positive manner.  Talk to the school and develop and plan. Talk to your child and find out what is going on.  Look and Listen.

Answer 6

smack him so he knows how it feels. I dont mean that to sound mean but my parents always told me if I couldn't listen then I would feel. And I turned out great

Answer 7

the teacher should have some consequence for his actions right when they happen.  either time out, move to a new center or going to the director's office.  my teachers always tried to handle these issues in the classroom.  when it got repeatitive they'd make their way to my office and i'd have a 'chat' with the child and possibly call a parent.  if it was severe he'd be removed for the day and the parents and i would have a meeting as to further action to be taken.

is he bored in class?  is the teacher in charge of the class or is the class in charge of the teacher?  if she's yound and inexperienced that could be an issue.  you might want to talk to the director about all the options and situations going on in the class.