Preschool dilemma -- Did we wait too long??

Question

My husband and I have only just started looking into preschools. Our son will be 2 years 6 months this September. The idea behind it was that we would wait to send him until he is 4 1/2 (September of 2009) because he believes (and I support him because I was raised by a nanny and not my working mother - not that there is anything wrong with that! I just want to stay with my son as long as possible) that we should be with him until then. I am starting to feel pressure that he won't have a good experience with it. Obviously, we do classes and such, but is that enough? One woman I spoke to from a school said that he should be with his peers at 3 1/2, and that the kids stay together for two years. But if I wait to send him at 4 1/2 won't he be with kids his own age at that point or do they start them in the first year of the program no matter what their age? Does that make sense? We are just so new at this and feel a little overwhelmed. Please help!

Answer 1

most preschools do not take kids until they are 3-3 1/2 so you are fine not starting right now...

as for waiting til they are 4 thats fine too... any older than that and you will be sarting your child in kindergarten.. not all people, by tthe way, choose to put their child into preschool... although i personally think it makes a huge difference in children!

Answer 2

I've seen advantages to starting at the 3 year old age.  But I work in Montessori Schools where the 3 year cycle is the most beneficial.  So I'm biased in that regard.

With that said, most that started in the 2nd year (age you're thinking of starting) have been fine.  I can't think of an example where it was not fine or an issue.  But those that started earlier seemed to enjoy it a lot more and got a lot more out of it.  And I guess that's the benefit.  They get more out of it as the 3 year cycle goes on, but they aren't necessarily "behind" if they don't start at the beginning.  Just not quite with the same amount of understanding of the materials.

As far as social concerns go, make sure you do find time for social play with children his other age whether you send him to preschool or not.

Matt

Answer 3

No!  I am a soon to be certified teacher and the mother of a three year old.  Preschool is not necesary.  Yes, it has many benefits, but there are other ways to get those benefits.  If I did not have to go to school, I would not send my son to school.  I think it is wonderful to stay home with your child as much as possible.  It is also great that he goes to classes.  Socialization is important for preschool age children.  Playdates are great for this.  You don't need to send your son to school until Kindergarten.  Provide him with many educational opportunities.  Read to him a lot!  Have him "read" to you.  Work on his letters and numbers.  Encourage imaginary play.  Take him places like the zoo.  Enjoy this time that you have with your son.

Answer 4

I sent my oldest son at 3.  He was our only child at the time and I wanted to make sure he was going to be socialized enough and be able to get along with others by the time kindergarten came.  He was ready at 3.  My second son was not ready til he was 4 and a half.  He was a preemie which put him behind for awhile.  You can't really listen to what others have done.  You have to evaluate your son's situation on his own.  I know, I wanted to stay home as long as I could with my boys, but I had to look ahead and decide what was best for them and not best for me.  If he is your only son, you may want to send him at 3 if he is ready.  You don't want him making a scene on first day of kindergarten crying and screaming and not wanting to be separated from you.  I have seen that happen with parents and believe me, it sure isn't pretty.  Plus, you don't want to leave them that way.  It's an individual choice that should be made not on Merritt of others, but, with evaluation of each child's situation.

Answer 5

My daughter has a 41/2 year old daughter who has been going to day care 1 day a week for the last  2 years.  She is an only child and day care has taught her to interact with other children. In the beginning she was very attracted to the older children and learnt a lot from watching them. Now she is one of the eldest and joins in with all ages and is very caring towards the younger children. She is always happy when mummy picks her up which is the most important thing to look out for.

As 1st time parents it's natural for you both to be feeling overwhelmed it's not always easy to know what is the best for your child, hope my answer helps.

Answer 6

I am raising 3 girls and did not send any of them to preschool. As a matter of fact, I home schooled my eldest through 5th grade and am now doing so for my 6 year old. I also have a 20 month. Besides the point! Anyway, if you are having play dates one or two times a week, and sitting with him to do some "learning" activities, I would not stress. They are doing such a push for preschool because many parents do not engage their children. They simply sit them in front of the tv. So if you are doing the play date thing, working on his motor skills (writing with crayons, then pencils, eventually cutting with scissors, etc.) and starting him on the learning path, he will be fine. Do outings and classes and play dates. When he is 4 1/2 he will be better prepared for a more formal school setting.

Answer 7

Is there a preschool program that is only a half-day? I think that kids shouldn't go a full day until they are 5-6, Kindergarten.

He will be fine eventually if it is only a half day. You will be with him the rest of the day. Believe me, in the long run it will help. I remember my first day of preschool when I was 4 years old. I cried and cried, a lot of the other kids had been there a few years before and were fine.

Answer 8

Relax. He'll be with kids his own age. Look for a preschool that isn't too rigid and recognizes your right to decide what's best for your child. Some have mixed age groups, which would be ideal, but they can be hard to find. In the meantime give him opportunities to be away from you at things like library story hours and play dates. There are plenty of kids who never went to any preschool who do fine in kindergarten because they've been provided with lots of experiences and information at home.

Answer 9

There's no right or wrong answer. You gotta do what you feel is right for your family. My son is going to turn 5 in a couple of months. He has been in daycare since he was 1. I'm in college so I didn't have a choice. He is an only child so being with other kids was good for him. He is also very dependent on routine. If I had waited to send him to daycare or let him be around others then it would have been a bad shock for him to be thrown in there for pre-k. That's him though and all kids react differently to situations.

It's not too late. You should send him when you're ready, but make the transition easy on him. Let him go part time somewhere until he gets used to being away from you. Don't let other people pressure you into it. You know how you child behaves and reacts to things. Take that into consideration when making your decision.

Here where I'm at they start kindergarten at 5, and preschool at 4. Preschool isn't mandatory for the district. It may be for you guys. You can check with the district. If a kid comes in at 5 he starts with the other 5 year olds. It should be the same there. Unless this is a private institution with it's own rules.

As for kids staying together for two years. That doesn't make sense to me. Kids come and go from his class all the time, and he doesn't have any problems with it. They don't really make strong attatchments to each other at that age.

Good luck guys. Kids adjust to new situations fairly easily. They are more resiliant than we think sometimes.

Answer 10

I teach preschoolers and for the most part, it is true that children tend to bond better the earlier they start, but at the same time, especially in the 4 year old class, there are usually quite a few new students anyway, so I wouldn`t worry about it too much.

Answer 11

I am in total agreement with you. If you were to wait, they should place him with his age group unless their is some serious delay in either academics or socially.

Keep him as long as you can, you cant get back this time.

Answer 12

socialization is our existence. just get your kid in a place with other kids- it will be good for him. just put him in the school or whatever let him go be kids with kids thats why hes alive. thats why we all are-

Answer 13

no mine son did not go until he was four years old. and it toOK a week to adjust to waking up and then being strangers but i explained to him that they were his teachers and they are ok to be with. but after a week or so he still hated getting up but that just BC he stays up so so late anther problem LOL anyway he loved going to school and loved his teachers and loved being around the kids and he learned so so much and we did the school thing too at home i also taught him at home.

the preschool that my son was with was the three and four  year old some were four and yes some were 3 but they all learn the same things colors ABC how to write their name share things learn songs things like that and he did not care how old they were he enjoyed playing with those kids. he even wants to go back but i have to explain to him that he graduated this year and next year he will be attending kindergarten.  don't feel overwhelmed you will adjust fine if you put him in pre school and if you dont that is ok too. he will be ok either way.

Answer 14

Instead of preschool you could try finding a daycare that takes dropin or parttime children. You could let him have "peers" by just dropping him off while you run an errand or two then go back and get him. Lots of children NEVER go to preschool and succeed just as well as those who do 2 years or more of preschool. It's up to you. Homeschooling him for these few years can prove quite rewarding to you as a mother. You get to teach him and let him learn at his own rate while getting to watch him learn new things. There is no right or wrong when parenting ... everyone does what is best for them and their family. Good luck to you!!!