Preschool or stay at home with mom?

Question

Any experiences from stay at home moms/dads putting their 3 yo in preschool? Is it something you'd do again, or do you think your kid would've been better off at home?

I want what's best for my kid, but I'm not sure what the benefits to pre-k are. She is already sociable, she picks up on everything pretty quickly, and she doesn't have separation anxiety anymore. (My daughter was in day care from age 18 months to 32 months. She loved it and there were a lot of benefits (she made a lot of friends, she loved her teachers, they had a lot of activities for her) but we took her out because of the bad habits she picked up (spitting when she doesnt get her way, yelling, etc)).

I also read a study somewhere that any benefits (if any) to pre-k children vs non are wiped out by the time they reach 2nd grade.

Please give me your thoughts on my situation along with your personal experiences with pre-k (especially your pros and cons, and whether the pros out weighed the cons).

Answer 1

Sounds like you have the best of both worlds as far as day care goes. Half days or short days worked great for my boys. They were home with me in the afternoon but were able to build experiences away from home at the same time. Children that go to day care have an easier time starting school. Church nursery is not enough. I'm a day care fan :)

Make sure you check the place out.

Answer 2

I'm a stay at home mom and my older son attended pre-k. Personally I liked it. I think that he adapted well w/ the other children. He learned to be more socialable  w/ the others.  He loved learning his abc's and123's, along w/ everything else he learned in pre-k. It got him  prepared for kinder. He also had a wonderful teacher his first year so that was a major pro for me. I don't really have any cons to give you, b/c I didn't experience a bad pre-k year w/ my older one. Now for my second son well, I would love to put him pre-k but, in my state you have to qualify for it. You either have to be a non english speaking person, homeless, parent in military or a foster child.(age 4 at the school cut off date) Otherwise your child will start his first year in kinder. We won't qualify this time around but it was something that I would have liked for my younger son.

Answer 3

I'm not a mom but I am a pre-school teacher and to be honest... kids benefit from pre-school.  They learn manners,  how to share, how to make friends...

unfortunately the biting, spitting, and etc. need to be addressed by those parents... my director usually sends those kids home =)

I've also had a full time boy drop down to part time because his dad was injured at work, and you can tell that he's at home now more... he's very clingy, whiney, he's lost his manners, and he cries if he doesn't get his way..

I think pre-school is a good idea but it make take a few tries to find the right one!!!

Answer 4

I've been a SAHM since my dd was born (she's now 10). She didn't go to preschool until the year before kindergarten. She hadn't spent much time in a structured setting and I wanted her to have that experience. Also to have the experience of being away from me for an entire morning.

Well, I did teach preschool part-time when she was not quite 2. During that time, she went to a Moms' Day Out program (I used the time for planning) one full day per week. She absolutely loved it and had so much fun there! She was a very social little thing and loved be around lots of people.

We also belonged to a moms' group since she was a few months old. We met weekly as a group with the kids and also had frequent playdates. Dd went to preschool 3 mornings a week just for the year before kindergarten. It's our community preschool and I mainly sent her to support our preschool and get to know some neighborhood kids and moms.

Pros? She learned a lot of things and had fun. It gave me some "me time" and time to run errands and do housework so I could spend more time playing with and doing things with her when she was home. Cons? I honestly don't think there were any except perhaps we could have saved some money by not sending her.

Be honest with yourself. How much are you playing with her? How often are you getting out and doing activities with her? How often are you having playdates with one or more children? Are you involved in mom and child activities outside the home as well? If you're doing all these things, they're just as beneficial as preschool, imo, but going to preschool can only serve to broaden her world. (and yours!)

Your comment about the study is what I have read also. I think it really depends on how rich the home environment is.

Answer 5

CHILD NEEDS TO BE AROUND KIDS HIS/HER AGE. PRESCHOOL WILL BE BEST FOR HER, THEN LATER YOU WILL NOT STRUGGLE WITH HER/HIM GOING TO SCHOOL.CHILD WILL BE BORED AT HOME. MY CHILD CRYS CAUSE SHE WANTS TO GO TO SCHOOL.

Answer 6

If you want to keep your child at home, do so.   I don't know why we are in such a rush to have our children grow up.   You can teach your child everything he or she needs to know for kindegarten (and more).   You get so very few years with your little one, don't give those "firsts" to the other people to enjoy.    My kids didn't attend school until K5 and they are all in management positions in their jobs, all graduated with very high grades, etc.   You have to figure out if you are putting your child in the preschool for your benefit or the childs.

Answer 7

Well, I would say it would be more benificial to put your kid in pre-k because he/she will make friends. It is always good for a child to have friends there age. Another great thing is that they have fun learning to count and the abc's .

The only con would be they may miss out on bonding with you. Just think about what would be better.

Answer 8

as a former early ed. professional and mom i can tell you it's fine to keep your child home as long as you put the work into her development (play groups, working with her, etc).  as a society we are led to believe that all kids must go to preschool and that just isn't the case.  most of the time what they're advertising is childcare, which is a full day, while both parents work situation.  preschool is a few days a week for developmental reasons.

i'd love to see more kids stay home with a caring, loving, nuturing parent that be stuck in daycare all day under the pretense that it's preschool.

keep your child home.  they leave soon enough.  mine is now 25 and a mother and i swear she was just 4 last week.

Answer 9

Hi why don't you do a few days pre-school a few days with you at home . your child can then surely get the best of both worlds. Good luck anyway.

Answer 10

First as a preschool teacher myself, it is okay either way. However it is not your child  behaving baby when behaviors are picked up. What she is merely doing is coping behaviors that she sees done by other children that gets the teachers attention. It is no fault of hers and the teacher should have assisted with this. Preschool is not a babysitting service. It is school. There is a daily routine, skill builders mixed with play and learning centers, developmental checklist should be done regularly along with parent teacher conferences to keep you informed. As a parent to feel like this is totally normal. You just have to shop for what you feel comfy with.You want the best then look. I had too. If not and you would like to keep her at home then read the NAEYC.org.You could still look for  a center that meets your qualifications. On a personal note a good foundation is great during developmental stages. It assist them in growing and coping with school to come. Good luck in your search.... MD

By the way the ECERS a blue hand book has a score sheet with 0 being the worst and 7 being the best if you purchase one of these books it should help you in your search with it's guidelines.

Answer 11

A half day preschool program would be great for your daughter.  Even though the study says that the benefits are even out by the time the child is in 2nd grade, why wouldn't you want to make her transition to kindergarten easier?  Kindergarten in the last 5 years has changed dramatically.  It is more academically focused, and there is less time for the teacher to work on social skills. Even though your daughter is social, she can still benefit from preschool.  Preschool helps set routine, and give children a chance to learn what happens in school.  They learn how to interact with the teachers and with other children.  Children that attend half day programs tend to have less behavioral issues then children that are in child care for most of the day.  I am a preschool 4's teacher, and have talked to a kindergarten teacher.  She strongly recommends that children attend preschool.  They also learn problem solving, thinking skills, cooperation, empathy, etc. at preschool, and these are things that cannot be taught, but learned by doing them.  I actually wrote a research paper on the social prerequisites of kindergarten readiness.  Your daughter is already ahead because she has had child care experience and she is already sociable.  I guess a con would be she might get sick more (if she was already in child care, that is probably not the case, and if she doesn't go, she will get sick in kindergarten until her immune system is built up).

Answer 12

ANY time you can have your child home in a nurturing environment, THAT is the best answer.

If you are willing to help her along, with colors, letter recognition, number recognition and counting, using scissors, writing name/letters/numbers, then do it yourself. NOTHING can replace family.  Besides, it depends on the Pre-K you are choosing to send her. Is it just play? Then don't bother. If you choose one with a curriculum, like A Beka, then that will better train her for Kindergarten. But keep in mind, you can do this at home yourself. IF you do decide to send her, chose a half day program.

Kids need their family. (I know there are situations that one needs daycare/childcare, believe me) But if you are able, spend that last year or two with your child yourself, before they do start school. Since you say she is sociable, then at least hold out until she if 4 and find one with an actual teaching curriculum (like A Beka) to get her ready for Kindergarten.

Just my opinion