Preschool teacher with a constant crier

Question

After receiving my roll for the year (late 3s early 4 year olds), I realized I will be teaching one of the dreaded "criers" in our program. This child cries loudly and uncontrollably, at the drop of a hat, when he doesn't get his way, has to share or is expected to participate in activities. If he can't pinpoint something to cry about he cries about wanting his Mommy or Daddy. He cries about every activity - circle time, free-play, art, outside playground time and, of course, nap/rest time. Any suggestions on what you do to discipline a constant crier? I'm hoping one or two simple ideas will help me snap him out of it. He'll go to kindergarten next year and his behavior simply will not be acceptable. Help! Keep in mind I'm only allowed to discipline with five minute time outs. Either I will break him or he's for sure going to break me!

Answer 1

If you have been on summer break (as I have), you are basing your concerns about this child based on behavior evident rheee months ago. They sometimes mature over the summer. But, if he does exhibit this behavior in the Fall, realize that it must produce results for him, otherwise, he would not continue. Intermittant re inforcement creates stronger patterns of behavior than even concstant reinforcement. A child will continue acting out if it sometimes gets him the desired result. I can geuss that the desired result is attention. SO, give him attention when he does NOT cry. When he is not crying go up to him and engage in his play or invite him to play and when he still does not cry, say, "Hey, This is fun! It is nice to play with you when you are not crying." When he does cry, ignore it. Remove him from the area so he does not disturb the other children   (i realize that is impossible unless he is taken out of the room!). Do not engage in conversation or affection, just state, you have to be away from the others because you are being very loud and we can't hear the story (or play the game or do  our work). Your classroom should have a few single child-sized quiet , soft places for resting and this sort of event. Your gola is to teach him that crying will not result in rewards. Also, consult the parents. This behavior was learned somewhere, I bet at home! Enlist their help. Good luck!

Answer 2

try rewarding him if he doesnt cry.

tell him that if he doesnt cry you will tell him a secret or something.

He just wants to have attention because his parents spoil him. When he crys make him sit out at play time or something.

Answer 3

Are you sure he is really crying for no reason?  Perhaps, he has been "conditioned" to be a chronic crier... Does he get attention from it?  Is he attempting to get out of doing something with it?  What benefit has he gotten out of the crying in the past?  All behavior is communication of some sort... our job as preschool teachers is to figure out what the child is attempting to communicate.  

Reasons a child engages in disruptive/challenging behavior:

- They are attempting to communicate a desire to escape something: they may try to get out of doing art because they find paints "icky" to touch, or may try to escape circle time because it is too difficult for them to sit through.

- They are attempting to communicate to gain access to something; can be a toy, object, food, or attention.  They may also be trying to gain sensory input.

First, look at things you can change... the classroom environment is first.  Are there things about the environment that overstimulate him?  Does he have sensory issues that would make him upset (look up Sensory Integration Dysfunction for ideas)?  Is the classroom well organized and set up in a way that presents the materials so that all children are capable of reaching them and using them? (Check ECERS- (Early Childhood Environmental Rating Scale) for ideas and standards of a preschool classroom).  

Second, look at the way you talk to the children and interact with them; Are there clear rules and pictures of transitions in the classroom?  Do the children receive warnings before they are told to move to another area or to stop what they are doing?  Do you tell them what you want them to do, rather than what to stop doing?  (example: Say, "Walking feet in the classroom", as opposed to "Stop running")  Are the children allowed to make choices in the course of the day?  Do they get individual time with you?  How many staff do you have in the classroom?  (are your ratios what the NAEYC suggests?)  Look at your biases... you already have it in your head that this child is going to be a problem- so, how would you handle him if you had known nothing about him, and this was his first day of school?  Thinking about our own biases can help when we are trying to figure out how to respond to children- what is it that we already see them as?  Look at the way you respond to children... are you direct?  Do you respond with thought, or just whatever comes out of your mouth?  Are you a responsive listener, or just trying to make it through the day with your hair intact?  Being a preschool teacher is a trying, difficult job- with little respect- but try your best to respond to each child's individual needs.

Finally, look at the ways in which behaviors are prevented/headed off in your classroom:  Do you use distraction techniques?  Warnings?  Do you allow "special helpers" to keep a child close to you?  This child doesn't need discipline techniques... he needs someone to help him figure out WHY he is behaving in such a way, and how he can get the same need met in another way.   Take some time to study this child... figure out what it is that makes him tick, and then try different ways to prevent him from having to use that behavior.  This will take time... there is not a magic pill to stop him from crying, but many of the things you can do are simple alterations that can produce big effects for him and all the other children in the classroom.  

I highly recommend looking at the following websites dealing with challenging behaviors... both have several printables, and even online "seminars" that have powerpoints you can download to learn more about challenging behaviors and what you can do in the classroom to turn things around.  I use these techniques in the behavior intervention program that we have at our preschool (we have 18 children- ages 2-6, enrolled in this program, which helps children with challenging behaviors learn to moderate themselves and exist in a classroom environment without the need for their difficult behavior).  These websites contain loads of valuable information on diagnosing a challenging behavior and it's root cause, simple things you can change in the classroom and in your own behavior to have children respond better, and ways to help a child with challenging behavior.  Find out the "why" and you'll figure out the "how" to change his behavior.

CSEFEL: http://www.vanderbilt.edu/csefel  

(check out the modules and teacher section)

Center for Evidence Based Practice for Children with Challenging

Behavior: http://challengingbehavior.fmhi.usf.edu/...  

(look at Transition Tools for printables and classroom ideas)

Answer 4

Your last sentence really made me cringe! As a teacher of 20 yrs and a parent of a child with sensory integration disorder this is the last thing I ever want to hear another teacher say.

But you've asked for help... and that's a great start! Catch the child being good! If you want them to cry less catch them showing signs of joy. Make good eye contact, smile big and remark on what a beautiful smile they have, how big their eyes are when they are happy or how loud they clapped after that song.

Find their passion and fill your room with it. It may be bugs, mud, plants, skyscrapers, trucks or music. Find their passion and catch them being happy!

Start keeping a log (discretely) about the times and activities that coincide with their outbursts, also the length, volume, and anything that seems to help calm them down.  Find the pattern and you'll find solutions.

Teacher please do not "BREAK" this child! They may be stuck using inappropriate behaviors because they haven't yet figured out other behaviors that "work" for getting their needs met.  

Or they could have something more serious going on. They may be over stimulated from sensory processing issues, they may be on the Autism Spectrum, they may have heinous issues at home that you have no clue about.

If you can not find strategies to help this child talk to your director and the parents about getting this child some outside help. This can be done by seeking a public school evaluation or a pediatricians referral. All US children 3+ have the right to a free CORE evaluation through their public schools.

Please do not "break" this child!  

Answer 5

Being your special helper/ a special job

Everyday he does not cry he gets a sticker/ After so many stickers he gets a little prize/ have a sticker chart

When he does cry separate him from the group

Very strict routine  

Be firm

Compliment him when he is not crying

Answer 6

'Tis true... three months (summer break) sometimes can make a BIG difference.  It is wearisome though!

Other ideas:

* "WORK" on forming a positive relationship on the first day/week of school.  Be empathetic but firm.  Make sure you get some 1:1 time with this child multiple times through the day...even if it is a 30 sec conversation that is noting what he is doing.

* a visual schedule may come very much handy in a situation like this.  You could do a class visual schedule or a personal visual schedule.  This gives you something to fall back on every time.  Both of  you can go to the visual schedule or if this child will refuse to go with you...choose the personal schedule and bring it to him.  

*Have pics for "no crying/happy faces etc" to hand to him as a first warning.  You as the adult do not use any words...because often our frusteration is portrayed through our tone of voice not our words.  Set a "ritual"...such as 1) getting down at his level and looking him in the eye (even if he isn't looking at you) and smiling or saying "uh-oh" with a smile 2) Giving him a sideways hug or putting your hand gently on his shoulder 3) handing him his "happy face" card.  4) walking away.  Give him about 30 sec-1min to stop crying.  Then 5) do the "same ritual" ...if he's done hand him or show him the picture of what he needs to do next with a 1-2 words...no lecturing.  If he's still crying hand him the next pic...usually the consequence.  A picture of where he must go to get himself under control etc.  Make sure you have a picture for indoors and outdoors.  It's good to explain this to the child when he is calm, prior to using it...but they do catch on quick.  I'm not a fan of "time outs" because many times they are used incorrectly and nothing is solved...but consider having a well defined space for him with a box of tissues, soft seat, a mirror is great too (one that is attached to the wall), an emotions chart, and a happy face card that he gives you when he is done and ready to join the group.  This is a good place to keep his personal schedule too. You can get quite a few of these visual schedule pictures online or you can make your own.

* Starting with the first day have a "job" that is just for him upon arrival.  This gives him something to look forward to, these children usually require a definate routine and having this job helps in this regard, it also allows for the feeling that you believe in him.

* Document document document... Have a chart where you write down the times that he has his outbursts, how long they last, and what was happening around that time.  See if there is a pattern.

Good luck!

Answer 7

For nap time, let him sit quietly with books if he doesn't want to sleep, and include a small, quiet fidget toy.

For the rest of the time, ignore his crying completely. He's learned to associate crying with getting attention. Start giving him attention only when he's behaving, including hugs and smiles.

When he misbehaves, let him cry in the center of the room if he wants, but don't try to comfort him. He'll eventually snap out of it and go do something that he finds more interesting. It'll take a long time at first, but, as he learns that crying won't help his situation, the length of time he cries will grow shorter.

I recommend speaking with his parents about the behavior as well, encouraging them to do the same at home. He's learned a bad habit; now he needs to go through the difficult process of unlearning it and replacing it with more effective strategies.