Preschooler early signs of autism/aspbergers, learning delay or hearing problem?

Question

My son recently began attending a preschool where the parents volunteer weekly. I have noticed there is another boy, he is three, who exhibits very young behavior for a three year old. He does not talk at all, except once where I asked him if he wanted to paint, he repeated "to paint" and then refused once I tried to help him put a smock on. Any other time I have addressed him personally, ie using his name, he has not responded or even seemed to react. I had to grab his hand once to show him where the fountain was because he kept trying to drink out of other kids cups when it was not his time for a snack. He constantly seems to be trying to escape, even when his mom is volunteering (don't get me started on her.....she was not helping the situation or even paying attention), and I found him once in the teacher's workroom, not a safe place to be! All the parents are on alert so he doesn't try to get out, and I feel concerned that there may be more to this behavior than him just being young or not used to the environment. As a former teacher I do have some experience with autism/aspbergers syndrome, and it is early so I would have to say if he did have one, it would be mild.....any ideas for what may be going on? I also can get him to look at me when I raise my voice, so I have wondered if he needs a hearing test maybe? Let me know what you think?? Also, how to approach the subject tactfully with the teacher--she told the mom that her son was just acting very young. I would be concerned if I were the mother, and would want someone to tell me. Suggestions on what this may be and how to go about this?? Thanks!!

Answer 1

Yup, sounds like it.  My nearly 3 year old son sounds exactly that way, he was dx PDD.NOS thats autistic features at 9 months old by the neurologist.  

I don't hesitate on telling parents, but I refrain from using the A word, it doesn't go over well.  Parents don't always welcome the news that I think their child has a neurological condition, but I would want to know.  Sometimes when a parent is blowing me off I compare the child to my PDD.NOS son.  Parents still get offended but its not like I walk around and say see how Joey toewalks and how he is stimming flapping his arms, and doing that echolalia that sure is hallmark signs of autism.  As for the teacher, teacher's can't diagnose, even though I am sure the teacher has great radar for spotting atypical developing children they are hesitant on speaking out, I don't know if its considered unprofessional, or inappropriate or because in public schools if they acknowledge an issue then they are obligated to make accomodations to treat it.  

EDIT when he repeated 'to paint' that is echolalia.  Repeating the last thing heard.  Toewalking is just walking on tip toes, its a sensory issue that many autistic spectrum children exhibit.  Not understanding language by not following directions (also usually thought of as a possible hearing problem) and not responding to his name is a classic sign, and poor eyecontact are also  usually seen.  It is a good idea to rule out the hearing issue by having a hearing test, but whether he hears or not he still is exhibiting many autistic features that have nothing to do with hearing.  One of the hallmark signs, not responding to their name is something my son wasn't doing at 9 months old, and was a red flag for autism even at 9 months old when he was diagnosed.  The trying to escape is anxiety and is very common for those on the spectrum.  Other things to look for are poor attention, poor fine motor skills-holds crayon awkwardly, colors very lightly, doesn't attempt to stay in lines and work looks much worse than any other kid.  Inability to answer questions, poor speech.  

Here is a site for a good assessment tool questionnaire to give you an idea of what other things to look for.

http://www.childbrain.com/pddassess.html

My 2 sons score a 51 and 68 currently, both in the mild range which is where they are.  Anyone really familiar with the autistic spectrum knows that it is many symptoms, not just a few and can't be misconstrued as something else, having it goes without saying that there are learning difficulties but those learning disabilities are dx much later unless the kid is way ADHD which what you are describing is maybe mild but mostly PDD (pervasive developmental disorder) which is synonyms to ASD (autistic spectrum disorder).  The NOS is features which you explicitly describe.  I can spot an ASD a mile away....

Answer 2

The kid might have severe autism, some echolalia, learning delays, and challenging behavior problems.  

Maybe because the kid is autistic, no matter how severe the conditions of autistic kids can be, they can always have trouble following directions and listening since they are in their own world.  Even some kids with autism have echolalia.  Most kids with autism can essentially have learning delays, although they can have unusual talents and be very intelligent.  Some kids with autism may not be intelligent at all, but still have learning delays.

Severe autism can be the result of severe challenging learning abilities, severe challenging behavior problems, even speech and vocalization problems.

Some people with mental retardation and other intellectual disabilities can show some autistic traits.  Has the kid been diagnosed?  The mother should take her kid to be diagnosed, and if he's autistic, he should be taken to a school for autistic children.  I'm 100% sure he's autistic.  If you have anything to say about this, please feel free to email me.  My user allows email!  Thank you and have a pleasant day!

Answer 3

It definitely sounds possible that this child has autism/aspbergers. And keep in mind that often autism is linked with hearing or sight problems as well as learning delays. So I would recommend speaking to the teacher about this. Though I doubt I can provide much more help than what has already been said in actually communicating to the teacher the issue at hand.

Answer 4

It definitely sounds like some sort of delay, especially if he is not talking at all.  I'm not sure how it works state to state, but where I am, he would be eligible for services through the state.  If those resources are available, his mom should be pointed in that direction from the school.  I work with preschoolers with special needs, in their daycare setting, and I have 3 that are diagnosed with some form of autism.  But he could just be a child with a developmental delay of speech, that keeps him from being social.  It takes a whole team of people to decide.

Answer 5

I respect your concern and the possibility that it could  be more than one condition. I have had students labeled incorrectly because the "professional" didn't consider all the possibilities.

Continue to develop the relationship with parent and teacher because it really sounds like that the child needs an evaluation which must be initiated by either parent or teacher- not a concerned parent

Answer 6

It could be any one of the three you suggested but you also said that the mother doesn't help the situation or pay attention so it could also be tied to the way he has been bought up.

If the mother's not paying attention then he can probably get away with anything at home and probably doesn't understand structure.

Does the teacher know you used to be a teacher or does she just know you as a parent helper.

You could write a note to her saying that as an ex-teacher you have some concerns about the particular child and ask her if she's willing to talk to you.