Private adoption scam???

Question

I am in Illinois. I am doing a private adoption with a persn whos trust worthiness is questionable. I have been helping with expenses allowed by our state law. There are no attorneys involved because I cannot afford it. I am financially stable but the adoption fees are extreme when going through an agency. This is the second private adoption I have done. I have yet to go to a doctor appointment but she is very obviously pregnant. The question, do I have any recourse to recoup the money if she is scamming me? Will she have to repay the money that I am spending?

Answer 1

No you don’t you would be screwed if you thought she was untrustworthy you should have moved on. The reason expecting mothers can get away with this is because birthparents can always change their minds before the birth and for a period of time after the birth, even if the baby was placed with you, the birthparents could get it back in the reclaim period.  A woman that knows this finds someone(s) to adopt her baby and reap the benefits of getting things paid for etc and then back out and not have to pay back a dime. Saying she changed her mind in some cases she never had the intention of placing her child for adoption. Then the PAP are just out several grand or however much they spent.

In some case a woman is not even with child.

Answer 2

No and NO

Shame on YOU

If you want the security and safety net then do it properly, otherwise you deserve everything you get.

You are trying to get a baby on the cheap

SHAME ON YOU

ETA Ah Heather B from the thumbs down you and I have seems to me people dont like hearing the TRUTH!!!

Answer 3

I'm sorry but I don't think you have any way to get the money back if she is indeed scamming you. I would hesitate to forward any additional funds at this time, offering to make up the costs at the completion of the adoption.

Good luck

Answer 4

Probably not. Even if you had an attorney or was with an agency the bmom has the right to change her mind. That does not define it as a scam. Any investment you make in this process will be at your own risk. That's just the way it works.

If later you feel like she is a scammer you'd need an attorney and you'd have to prove it. Hard for us to know what her true intentions are but changing her mind is her right and is just a risk you have to accept.

Answer 5

No and No.  This is why private adoptions are extremely risky.  A pregnant woman has the right to change her mind about adoption until after the waiting period (state dependent) time has passed after birth and she signs the adoption papers.  It's very hard to prove that a pregnant woman was backing out of the adoption because she changed her mind (as legally allowed to do)  or because she was deliberately defrauding and misleading the PAPs and never had any intention of placing for adoption in the first place.  There has recently been some attention given to "adoption scams" like this and there has been some call for legislation, but I'm not sure how someone could prove that the pregnant woman intended to defraud the PAPs.  

Good luck.

Answer 6

I know of a woman in my area who scammed couples for their money & it sounds very similar to what you posted here.

I would schedule an OB appt for her & tell her you want to be present at a scan of the baby to begin preparing for it.

If she tries to back out or stall things, I recommend you quit all interactions with her.

From what I know it would be very hard to recoop any funds paid to her.

You can however report her to the local sheriff's dept & District Attorney should she fail to follow your agreement & press charges on her.

Make sure anything you do & all payments given are signed off on by her.

So that she acknowledges her responsibility & acceptance of the contract.

Answer 7

There is always risk involved with pre birth matching. The woman might feel pressured into giving you her child if you pay for anything pre-birth.

I would suggest you let her pay her expenses and ask her to keep a log of them, and if the adoption does go through refund her all of the cost of her medical expenses.  If you think she is scamming you, she probably is.

NEVER hand over money without a legal agreement in place!

Answer 8

No, and no.

Answer 9

No you can not recover your losses.  This happens sometimes when individuals adopt privately.  It also happens in agency adoptions as well.  There is no formula to know if a potential birth mother is serious about an adoption plan or not.  You have to tend to go with your gut on it.  Usually with an agency they set restrictions such as no adoption assistance prior to the last trimester.  That helps reduce the potential financial losses.  Also, when dealing with an agency they have birth parent counselors on staff who are trained and usually have MSW's.  Unfortunately, adoption is a risk.

Answer 10

No, and No.

Good luck- you'll need it.