Private vs. Public Kindergarten...? Kindergarten teachers, I need your input!?

Question

I have a son who has a mid July birthday. He will be 5 this July and is due to start kindergarten in the fall. His preschool teacher recommended holding him back a year, but she did this with at least half of the class (there are a lot of summer bdays in the class.) I had him evaluated by a woman who has a school and is certified to evaluate for K readiness and she is confident that he will thrive in public K (she incorporated him into her preK class for 2 mornings and ran some sort of tests.) Private K her is about $8500 and honestly, its a big stretch for us to do that. If I was sure he needed it, ok, but I'm not....So my ? is to teachers, esp. K teachers. Of the kids that come into K a bit immature, sensitive, quick to cry, a little socially awkward...do you find they come around eventually or do you just wish these parents would get a clue and hold them back?? Any input from experienced parents or teachers would help. Thanks.

Answer 1

My baby turned 5 right after starting K.  He had a harder time learning the basics and fine motor skills then my other 2 did.  I know he is a very smart child and it's not a learning disability, but an age thing.  He just wasn't really ready.  He wouldn't concentrate, wouldn't take learning seriously, etc.  It's rather difficult to explain in words, but I feel like holding him back a year would have tremendously helped him be more successful in K and it scares me to think of how first grade will affect him next year and so on.  Holding them back a year could be a wonderful thing.  The main thing is only YOU know your child and have the mother's instinct of what that child needs.  Go with your instinct and gut feeling about what's best for your child.  Public or private K would be the same....do what you think is best!  Support your decision!

Answer 2

My son's birthday is August 30th so I know what you are going through. My son went through the same thing, however his teacher recommended him to stay back as well, and I thought it was in his best interest to hold him back. This year (his second year of K) he is thriving and doing awesome, so it reinforces that I made the right decision. What I based my decision on is my son, because as they go up in grades the learning gets more intense, so what could one more year of early education hurt. Another thing is that boys develop slower then girls, so I also kept this into consideration. Plus I thought that I would rather hold him back now, then in 3rd or 4th grade.

Just consider all of your options, and to answer your question, it is hard because every child is different and develops differently, so some may thrive, while others just get further behind. Better now then later on down the line.

Answer 3

Send him to Kindergarten!  Teachers are well equipped to teach children of various levels.  Our daughter is in Kindergarten and I can tell you that there are some kids who could read and write before the school year started, and some who still couldn't say the alphabet.  There were some who cried when their parents dropped them off, and some who walked to school with older siblings and had no separation problems at all.  There are some with attention and behavior issues, and some who had none.  They (teachers)  know how to deal with this.  In addition, some kids are going to by shy and immature no matter when then start Kindergarten and that's ok.  There's no need to "fix" these "problems" before they start school!  It's just their temperament and personality.   I know the trend today is to hold kids (esp. boys) back from starting Kindergarten, but I just don't agree with it.

Answer 4

I have several students with late birthdays headed to my 3rd grade class & wish the parents had waited for them to start kindergarten.  Now they feel it's too late to hold them back, even though the teachers have been recommending it.  If there were any question, I'd wait.  That seems to be the trend nowadays, anyway - especially with boys.

Answer 5

One son turned 5 two weeks before the deadline. He went and had a fine time. The next was mid-July birthday, too. Kindergarten that year was the best thing that could have happened to him.

The only problem here is that other parents (selfish beasts) want their little darlings to be smarter and stronger and bigger so they hold them out. Well, duh, if everyone does it, pretty soon kindergartners will all be shaving. Some one is always the smallest and youngest.

Kids who are old for their grade are more likely to drop out of school. Send him on. Kids are immature--that's the definition of kid. Public school should be fine.

Answer 6

What's your hurry? Do you want him to always be the youngest, smallest, most picked on because he's the youngest, smallest? (It's harder for boys)

Private vs. Public makes no difference. Just stay involved as a parent and he'd do fine with either. Private does have smaller classrooms and he will get a bit of a head start however, it will change when he gets to K in Public. Again, it's up to you to know how he's doing and if he needs help.

My girls both went to Private and did very well the first 3 years of Public. However, we stayed involve this year and came to the realization our 3rd grader needed math help mid year. We got her a tutor and she's done Fantastic the rest of the year.......stay involved and don't wait until the end of the year to find out if there is a problem.

Answer 7

I taught kindergarten for five years and later taught first and second grade.

Of all the students who came into K a little immature, they all   overcame and became very good students. For some it was easier than others and honestly there were a few  who should have waited.    I had one student with a Sept. birthday whose mom waited and at 6 she still was the most immature in the class. You can't always go by birthdays. If you were told by the woman that your son is ready, then believe her.

All students start K just a little on the awkward side, even those who have been to pre-K.

Just the fact that you have questioned this, lets me know that you are the kind of mom who will keep in touch with the teacher and follow her/his advice in working with your son.

Answer 8

my kids are 1 month from the cut off and I held them back. It was the best thing I ever did. They were mature enough to deal with things that happened and learning comes easy to them. Where as I was always the youngest and always socially behind the others . All I can give is my opinion and what I have seen through childcare and school and that is hold back for another year. You will not regret it. Everyone is so quick to push their kids into school. Give him one more year to mature and just be a kid. Then he can go next year and be confident and ready to sit and learn (most boys have trouble sitting still as testosterone kicks in at 5 and slowly goes down till 7, they have as much as they will in puberty.)