Pro-reformists: What do you think/feel about the TRUE anti-adoptionists?

Question

I've only seen a few who actually think that ALL adoption is sick and should all be banned (and it's been a while). I know some pro-reformists are labled as anti-adoption, but I'm talking about TRUE anti-adoptionists?

So what do you think about the TRUE anti-adoptionists?

Please, I'm not trying to stir the pot here, it's just something I've never seen discussed here. Also I consider myself pro-reform too, and have been call anti-adoption for not supporting just any and all adoptions.

Thanks

Answer 1

In my opinion, some (not most or all, but often the more vocal ones) of the pro-refomists are speaking out against issues that are no longer issues.

To listen to many of these people would make you think that birth mothers are brought into a room and threatened unles they place the baby for adoption.  I am not naive enough to think that there is never a situation where coersion or diress is an issue. However, those cases are the exception rather than the rule.  The fact is that an adoption that is completely legitimate and goes well never makes it into the news.  Those that are exposed to be wrongly conducted do.  Therefore, the stories in the news are going to focus on the bad ones.

I agree that medical records should be disclosed. However, if the birthmother refuses to do so, should the child not be placed??  We need to kep some sense of perspective.

Answer 2

I don't know that anyone participating on this forum is anti-adoption.  If there is someone who is, I'm not aware of it.  I do know that I have seen  anti-adoption Websites.  They advocate for alternatives to adoption when children need to be placed somewhere other than with their parents, such as legal guardianship.  They advocate that adoption not be used.

I think all types of placements are appropriate in various instances, including adoption and guardianships.  I do believe without a doubt however, that adoption needs to be reformed.

So, I respect that a true anti-adoption person has his or her opinion, even though I don't agree with everything anti-adoption thinking states.

Answer 3

I think that everyone is entitled to their opinions.  You don't have to agree with them.

If you truly don't want to stir the pot, take your spoon out.

Answer 4

Maybe I'm naive, and I'm interested to see the answers you receive, but I do not believe anyone here is totally or "true" anti-adoption.  Even those who have had a bad experience with adoption are usually the first to admit that in cases of abuse/neglect, adoption is necessary to provide the child with a home.  If anyone was truly anti-adoption, I would think that would mean that they support leaving a child in an abusive home, and I honestly don't think anyone here in this forum believes that (at least I hope they don't).

Answer 5

I don't get it... why would anyone be against giving a child a home? Adoption is the best way for a child with no, or a bad, home to have a chance at a safe and stable childhood. It is a way for them to grow up without having to live in over crowded orphanages, foster and group homes... how could any person be against this?

Answer 6

I've had some people label me as an anti-adoptionist & believe it or not, I'm not.

The current system needs some "tweeking" and with that tweeking will be made much better for all involved, especially the adoptees.

BUT- adoption as a whole cannot be abolished. If we were to abolish adoption we would end up with a state as you would find in India, with very young children wandering the streets searching dumps for food and begging on the streets. To abolish adoption is simply unrealistic.

I think most of us can agree though that the system needs improvement so that no other child ever comes out of the system scarred such as people like Bizzi & I did.

Answer 7

I'm still not sure what a true anti-adoptionist is. I haven't met anyone on here that is against adoption. I will repeat, I have met no one on here that is against adoption as a whole. Everyone realizes there is an need for adoption and always will be. Most people want reform for future generations and equal rights for themselves and future generations. If someone says they want it torn down and rebuilt it still means they see it as necessary. There are always going to be kids who have no where to go.

Answer 8

I think everyone has the right to think and feel how they want to. I see adoption as a necessary evil at times and just evil at others. No child should loose their parent and no parent should loose their child but life isn't fair.

I'm against coercion no matter how sugar coated it is made to appear. I am against sealed records and I am against people adopting to do the in thing or fill a void in their lives. I am against agencies profiting off the pain of others and I am against foster care when it is not helping the child. So I guess that makes me anti adoption in some ways. It is all the generalizations i see here that really get me going.

If someone is truly anti adoption then so be it, I won't listen to them any more than I listen to the get a baby faster, cheaper, easier ones.

Answer 9

you dont give your def. of an anti adoptionist, so i cant answer your question very well.

Answer 10

I have found that at least two of the "anti-adoption" people who post here, really aren't TOTALLY anti-adoption.  If the AP's are doing their very best to do the right thing, even the most anti-adoption folks seem to come around.  

To answer your question, I respect them, and I listen to them.  If my child grows up to be anti-adoption, I need to be able to say that I respect that POV, and that I have done EVERYTHING in my power to minimize the pain that my child *could* experience due to adoption.

Answer 11

They have a right to their opinion.  When i run into their questions or answers, i mumble a few words to myself and just click on by them.

I will never change their point of view and they will never change mine.  So to me its just a waste of energy to take the bait.

Eta there is just one or two people i can think of that are true anti-adoptionist, imho.

Answer 12

They're entitled to their opinion- that's what is great about the world-- different points of views and experiences.

Answer 13

This question so strange to me. I'm an adult adoptee. I have a wonderful family. My real--adoptive--parents are now grandparents to my children and my older brother's. My brother is their natural child. I never felt like I was any less important to them or that he was treated better because I was adopted.

Of course, I'm nearly 40 and adoption is a very different challenge now than it was then.

Answer 14

I respect their point of view, but don't agree with everything they say.