Problem child next door?

Question

Let me start by saying that we live in a neighborhood with lots of kids and we always welcome them into our house and yard to play with our 5 and 7 year old kids. But the 5 year old boy next doorhas become a major problem. He has been barging into our house uninvited, going through our pantry looking for food, taking our son's toys home without asking, and them breaking them and leaving them around our yard. He just shows up inside our house without us realizing he is there, and when we tell him we are busy with homework or dinner and he needs to go home, he just lingers. I talked to his Mom about this and she didn't even realize he was doing it because I don't think they watch him or know his whereabouts. We recently caught him just sitting there throwing rocks onto our deck. If we leave the garage door open he comes in and just helps himself to whatever he sees. Today when we were at work he took my son's special sound effects sword and wacked our new flowering tree to pieces,

Answer 1

Tell the parents again, and if he is destryoing your property tell the parents that they need to replace it. They need to crack down on him because if they don't get control over him now when he is a teen he is going to cost them thousands of $ in legal fees.

As for the pool. You need to make sure that you have a fence and a locked gate around it and a pool alarm. Tell the parents that if he comes into your yard after the pool is installed you will call the police because it is a safety hazard.

It doesn't matter what country/culture someone is. They need to abide by the laws/rule of the US if they want to live here!

Answer 2

That poor kid is starving for attention. You're gonna have to clamp down on things and pay attention. It's obvious his parents do not watch him. Personally I'd threaten them with calling the police and going after them for the cost of all the damage that he has done. Maybe that will wake them up a little.

Answer 3

Keep all doors locked and dont leave anything to valuable around.  When you get your pool installed get a ggood quality security fence around it.  If this is going on to much and you thhink that it may be due to major neglect at home you could try consulting DOCS.

Answer 4

I think I would talk to him about it.  Set down at his level and tell him that you do not mind him coming over, but he need to respect your families property and your house rules or that he will not be allowed to come over anymore.  He is probably just after some type of attention and he does not care if it is good or bad, but if you show him that you enjoy his company as long as he behaves himself maybe that will help and if not I think I would talk to his mom again and just let them know that if he can not respect your property then you need him not to come over.  I would make sure to tell her everything that he has done.  Good luck!

Answer 5

Keep a camera handy and when this kid does something, snap photos.  Take them to the parents, and demand restitution or replacement of the broken toys and damage he has done.  Tell them their son is not welcome on your property under any circumstances, and if they do not take appropriate action in disciplining this child and keeping him off your property, you will call the authorities.

Call child welfare/protective services and file a complaint of neglect for their failure to properly supervise their son.  He steals toys & food & such, he intentionally damages property, etc. and is headed for juvi if the parents do not supervise him properly.  He steals food from your pantry -- tell CPS the parents might not be feeding him properly.

Keep your doors locked. Invited children can come over any time and let them in.  Use your electric garage door openers and keep the garage doors closed.

It really would be a good idea for you to fence your property, and if you are putting in a pool for summer, you must install a fence and pool alarm. This will be a big help!

This has gone much to far to be wishy-washy about this.  This child is a potential danger to your children -- what's he going to smash or whack next?  Your kid's nose/arm/head?

Answer 6

you need to get a little more proactive.  the next time he misbehaves, escort him home and confront the parents, and if he's broken something, have it with you and say that you expect the item to be replaced within X amount of time.  also, make it CLEAR to them that he is no longer welcome at your home because he's rude, destructive, etc, etc....  lock your doors/back gate and make sure your kids know that other kids are welcome, but not him.  

shame on his parents for not being there for him, but it's not up to you to take on the burden of educating someone else's child in manners and etiquette.

Answer 7

I really likes KT's answer i think you should follow her line of thought!

Answer 8

Close your door so you notice when he comes in. If you catch him inside your house uninvited threaten his parents that you will have them busted for trespassing. If they refuse to pay for the toys he breaks, keep records and charge them for it.

Answer 9

hehehe....get a pitbull and feed it pictures of the kid

Answer 10

Sounds like you should keep your doors locked.

Poor little guy is just looking for some attention.

Answer 11

One of two things the kid is either seeking attention that he is not getting at home or two he has emotional problems.  Either way the only thing that you can do is tart keeping your door locked.  Our doors are always open but we keep the screen door latched so the kids cant just run in and out.  When they knock if it is a good time then they come in and if we are busy we dont unlatch it and tell them to come back in an hour.  Another solution is to put a privacy fence up in your backyard, with a pool you will need to anyway, and have the gate locked from the inside.  Unless you are outside keep the garage door closed.  Talking to the childs mother is getting you no where so next time he destroys your property or steals a toy call the police and let them go talk to her, maybe that will be the wake up call that you are serious.

Answer 12

I would talk to the dad of this child and tell him what is going on and what he is doing. Then I would tell him that he was not welcome back at my house or in my yard untill he started dehaving like a 5 year old should. I would tell him if he contuned to do this stuff and they didn't make him stop I was going to find out what could be done about it. Tell your kids to tell them they don't want to play with him because he isnt playing fear or being nice. Sometime this realy works if the kids tell them because if the kids start saying we don't want to play with you he isn't going to like that. He wants to be able to play with them. Good luck we have a few around our house like this. Thank God I knew some of the people on the street all ready and they wounrded us. I haven't been over friendly or really went to interduce myself.

Answer 13

The kid has no boundaries.  You need to lock all of your doors  and belongings and not allow him in your home until he can respect it.   If he comes knocking, ignore it.  At 5, he is old enough to understand the difference between right and wrong.  If his parents really don't pay attention to his whereabouts, perhaps a call to your local Child Protection office would do the trick.  I don't care what culture they are...they are irresponsible.  Especially now that you are having a pool installed...that is a tragedy waiting to happen.  God forbid this kid gets into your yard and thinks it's okay to swim and drowns.  Sadly, you may have to forbid your kids to  play with him and prohibit all access to your property.

Answer 14

Tell his mom straight out what he's doing and tell her that it's not appropriate for him to come into your house whenever her feels like it and without asking to come in, it's not appropriate for him to take food and toys without asking, and it's not right for him to destroy toys and other personal  items on your property. Tell her that you have the right to kick him off your property if he doesn't change those behaviors.

I feel bad for the kid but it's YOUR property and you have every right to tell this kid to leave now if he won't shape up, and if he doesn't, make him leave. Drag him outside and close the door. You don't have to accept it if he's being a terror don't deal with him.