Problem with 10y daughter.?

Question

She is so dissrespectful to me and talks back continually Ive tryed talking to her about her constant rudeness, she says that it is a habit. Today I once again asked her to not speak to me like a piece of garbage and she needs to try hard, her response was NO, why should I.....

Ive tryed all the usal methods of punishment nothing works... please help I am staring to really dislike her, this situation is almost unbearable and Im thinking of taking her to her nanas house for a few weeks..

Answer 1

tELL HER SHE CANNOT BE GIVING YOU STRESS! PUNISH HER FOR MONTHS LET HER CRY AND SCREAM BUT DONT GIVE IN SHE NEEDS TO LEARN! And she must  be picking it up somewehre!

Answer 2

One she is testing you and two she is growing up, neither of which gives her the right to speak to anyone in such a manner especially her parent.  My oldest went through this and we found a lot of it was coming from friends.  They all were at the age they thought they were older than they were.  Every single time she popped off with a rude or disrespectful response I told her that was unacceptable and until she could speak to me with respect I had nothing to say to her.  When she came and asked for something I ignored her unless she was polite with the request.  If I told her to clean her room and she got smart I told her fine I would do it and I did but at the same time I removed everything out of her room except the furniture and she had to earn it all back.  If she was rude to her father and I and a friend called we told her sorry she couldnt talk right now and when she got mad we told her she had to learn to talk to people first before she could talk to her friends.  If she sees you getting upset then she is getting the reaction she wants and she will continue to do it so instead of reacting upset react with a firm voice and then an action that will get her attention, then we she does something that is polite praise her for it and move on.  My daughter came out of it but it was a long battle of wills.

Answer 3

Well this normally happends if you are too nice to her. I had a little sister and my parents are always so nice to her. Never scolded her, Got her what she wanted. And now, She is a pain in the *** because she keeps fighting back my older sister and my parents. Before when my little sister was a good girl, My mom used to Whip her with bamboo sticks when she did something wrong. So atleast, Be strict on your daughter.

Answer 4

Does she go out with friends? You know to the park or anything? If she does you could take away that privlage, wait that doesn't work since she is getting madder and madder and will continue with the bad habit.

She only treats you like ' a piece of garbage ' ( which certinly you're not. ) because you let her. In Europe, parents dicipline their children harshly. Over there its disrespect if you call your mom ' she '. So, what you could do is talk to her the same way when she tells you do something lie, " Get me a glass of coke! " you say, " NO! why should I? " That gives her a taste of her own medicine.

Answer 5

Taking her to nana's won't solve the problem - the problem is between you and her. What is the usual punishment for disrespecting her mother? At my house it was 100 sentences that said I will not disrespect my Mother. If she argued back - I added more.

I was perfectly capable and did one time strip my daughters room of everything except 7 outfits a bed with linen of course, dresser. Nothing else. When she says why you can say she will do to avoid you taking everything she "owns". And make her earn them back.

I tell kids that thier mouth is about to get them into trouble and most understand that so give her a warning but dont put up with her rudeness.

Answer 6

as i was reading this i was thinking: take her away from her usual life for a while. take her to a grandmother and let her treat her fair, yet give her some responsibility (ex: chores: washing clothas/dishes) for about a few weeks. then see how she acts. if this does not work take her to a phsycologist they will know if its an emotional thing or something like that.

Answer 7

everytime she does it, tell her that she is not a teenager yet. she hase no right to be mean to you if it's not your fault. haveyou tried the punishment"i will make your spring break/ first month of summer vaca (wich everone is sooner) a living hel if you ever talk to me like thaat again." send her to her room. 20 minutes later go in and tell her that she isen't alowed to lalk till your done. tell her that for the past few weeks she has been a brat. ask her what she would do in your shoes.let her know that you do NOT like her behavior.

Oh! tell her that everytime she is mean to you, take away a piece of clothing! (shirt, dress, pants, try to make bras underwear and socks the last ones.) if she keeps it up she will have tobuy her own clothes!

Answer 8

Listen... she must have picked up this bad behavior somewhere. Did you look at yourself? I'm not saying you caused it, but maybe she's seen you fight with someone and she picked up the habit. In any event, this can be fixed. Ground her, take away dessert after dinner, whatever pleasure she really enjoys, limit her. When she's been good, reward her. Buy her a barbie doll if after a week she has been respectful... children need 'training' they dont understand 'talks' as much as they understand punishment and rewards.

Answer 9

Children mimic what they here! Is she hearing you talk to her dad or even HER this way? DO NOT SEND HER AWAY to her NANAs it WILL make it WORSE she will feel obanded! Give her more of your TIME and really talk to her she might just need to tell you something she is feeling!

and think about abuse?!?!? I know it is not always the case but think about it is there anyway she might be being abused by someone? it is just a possibility! Kids act out when there is sbuse!

Answer 10

You ASKED her not to speak to you like a piece of garbage?  Well, no wonder you have a problem.  This is not open to negotiation.  Become "selectively deaf."  When she is annoyed (and she will be) that you don't hop to it, just tell her "Oh, I have a habit of not being able to hear people when they are rude."

Works like a charm.

Answer 11

shes testing you, to see how far she can push you, what she really needs is attention, even negative attention, and by being rude to you she can guarantee your undivided attention.my youngest daughter is ten, and she went through a phase of being very cheeky, to everyone, my response was not to lose my temper(although she pushed me to the limit at times), but i gave her a lot of positive attention, i noticed she started to act up when i was busy or distracted, so i immediatly stopped evrything i was doing, sat down with her, and just talked, or read together, drew pictures, anything as long as we did it together with no distractions from her older siblings, i now make a special point of sitting quietly with her at some point in the day, and talk about her day, or her friends, any little worries...........result is now a happy, respectful child, it took a while to change but be patient all she really wants is you, good luck, and please  dont send her to her nans, she will take that as rejection by you

Answer 12

I don't know your child but try taking her to fun places, the mall bike riding ect. i bet by doing thins you 2 will get a stronger relationship and slowly stop fighting. If she keep back talking ask her "why do you always need the last word" my parents said that to me and i would cut it out.

Answer 13

Well, it sounds like to me you have tried everything but a good old fashioned butt whipping or dishwashing soap in her mouth!!! You failed to mention if her father is in the scene as well. Children listen to fathers allot more than they tend to listen to their mothers. But, reguardless you have to find a way to give her consequences that will make her rethink her actions. So many things a parent can do if they set their minds to it that has nothing to do with abuse, thats what god made a butt for, for whipping!!! But, no where else. Maybe you should try shoving some cheyanne pepper in that smart mouth as well!!!! It wont hurt her, but the burning will make her think. You can take all her free time away, shut the power off to her rooom, take the phone and tv away as well. And then tell her that the punishment that she is receiving is exactly what she asks for and not what you really wanna do. It's totally up to her what happens by her actions!!! You really need to do things that will gain respect back from her, and not take her c**p!!! I have a 10yr old son, and he knows way better than to do that with me but, disrespects his mother because we are divorced and I am no longer in that household. I often wonder myself that since I dont have custody that gives me the time that I need with my boys, if my boys will grow up and disrespect women as adults because of her inadequacies as a parent to teach them to respect her? When it comes to children and raising a family, that does raise a good point about the fathers being together with the mother to have a more stable and structured family environment. But, by law the only thing that a father has to do is pay support many times to a woman that fails to do the same job as a man can do to bring the stability and respect!!!!

Answer 14

If she continues this, start taking her stuff away, like an ipod or whatever she has. You tell her if she wants them back to start treating you the way she wants to be treated.

Answer 15

I just turned 12 I'm still like that a lot of people are like that might  but sit and talk to her try grounding her from her favorite things

Answer 16

she might be dpressed or something ask a doc or recored it and play it back to her she will see how hurtful it is hope this helped

Answer 17

Maybe record her & play it back to her. She might realise how hurtful shes being.

Answer 18

Spare the Rod spoil the child,

time for a spanking.

Answer 19

just whenever she starts being rude ignore her, OR (i'm not saying this is a good one) be rude back. If she tells you to shut up, say it back to her. hopefuly she will tell you that YOU are  beig rude or mean and then you can tell her how much it hurts.if you do do that, try not to get into a slanging match.

p.s. it worked on my child.

Answer 20

my parents always fighting when im young and they dont speak nice to their kids...when the kids growing up they also do the same w hard voice or seems like fighting always too..the kids encounter only from the parents.sorry but this was happen to me when im young but now i realize that parents are more important coz i dont have life now w/out them.

Answer 21

she knows that you ar going to punish her so strip he of all her privileges and don't give her attention because she knows that getting mad will burn you. Or you can wash her mouth with soap that always works

Answer 22

start taking away privileges that she likes for a while so that she will learn her lesson. She needs to understand that rules are made for a reason. If she has no respect for her parents then she will have a hard time coping in the work community as no one likes rude arrogant people to serve them.

Answer 23

you should ground her for a very long time.

and if that doesn't work take all the things she hates to spoil her

and if that doesn't work time for some spanking

Answer 24

a piece of garbage--- c even u are using a bad english n maybe accidently u use it in ur daily life. when kids come across such stuff they get rude. try being frndly wid her. give her weekly gifts n be close to her n then talk to her about it.

Answer 25

I know I'm going to get thumbs down, but my husband or I would've smacked her by now. And we usually don't spank our kids.

You've got to keep her in your house. If you send her off, that will only increase the problem, because she will have won. If all else fails, lock her in the house. No communication with the outside world- no TV, internet, anything. Let her sit there until she realizes that she can't talk to her mother like that.

Answer 26

I too have a 10 yr old. She has definitely changed over the years. Her attitude and ugliness towards me has gotten extremely bad. My husband and I had finally had it so we literally took every privilege she could possibly have away from her. The only thing she could do was go to school and come home. No tv, music, gameboy, phone, NOTHING! We told her until she started treating us the way we treat her then she would get nothing. She finally realized she better start respecting her parents b/c we didn't have to give her all the extra stuff that she has. Every now and then she forgets and I just pretend I didn't hear what she said, that's when she realizes and corrects herself. I think they are at a stage in their life that is hard for them to learn to deal with. They are trying to become more independent and their hormones are starting to perk up. You definitely need to stop the bad behavior now otherwise you will end up with an out of control teenager.  Good luck and try to keep your patience for your own sanity.

Answer 27

maybe she needs sometime away from you.

or maybe you need to punish her longer.

take away her cell phone / TV/ dont let her play with her friends for like 2 weeks, or longer if needed.

Answer 28

Give her a taste of her own medicine. If she asks you to do something, say "NO! Why should I . . .?" If you refuse to ever do what she wants you to do, she'll start to change. Or if that doesn't work give her the silent treatment. Don't talk to her until she starts to treat you better. 10 year olds need to have sometimes harsh punishments. Make her unable to see any friends except for school. It's just go to school, come home, do homework and sit in room. I'm happy to help!