Problem with daughters grandmother?

Question

i have a one month old daughter. and my boyfriends mother seems to think that you can give the baby tea, that wen the baby has hiccups, it means she's cold, just a whole bunch of useless junk i already know you cant do till theyre older. but just cuz she is hispanic and they have their own myths and beliefs and everything.

but its so hard to be around her and their family cuz i feel like an outcast. i am a full white girl i dont speak spanish and i somewhat understand it. but when i go around their family i feel so uncomfortable cuz i dont have ne idea what they are saying. even in my own apartment i feel that way...

does anybody have the same problem with their partners parents?

Answer 1

Learn Spanish, have them learn English, or just don't leave your child with them. The seedy p**p is completely normal for breast fed babies.

Answer 2

You should of thought about this before you got knocked up by a mexican.  Hello.

Answer 3

You can ask them to speak english when in your home to be respectful but you can't ask that of them in their homes.

Answer 4

You're the mother; you have the right to make decisions about your child's upbringing.  But at the same time, your child has a paternal family that she is part of and a rich Hispanic heritage which will become a part of her.  

I think if her grandmother is doing something that you feel is inappropriate (for example, giving your daughter tea), then you should speak up ("I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend you, but she can't have that" )  and take it away.  

On the other hand, if the grandmother is just sharing some of her traditional beliefs or myths without doing any harm, let her.  It makes Grandma happy, it strengthens their bond, and your daughter will recognize them as myths when she is older.    

As for feeling left out of their conversations, it might be that they are just used to speaking Spanish and aren't intentionally excluding you.  Remind them to please speak English when they're in your apartment.  And it would be a nice gesture and a favor to your daughter if you asked them to teach you some Spanish.

Answer 5

It's hard to deal with inlaws. I've been there.

I'm a southern girl but it seems I grew up in a whole other world than my hubby. He is a full blown country boy. He grew up hunting, riding 4 wheelers, driving a truck around his land at like age 10 & so much more! I too felt like an out cast when we got married.

I had this same problem with my mother in law after my first child was born. She say weird things when my daughter would do something. I'd get so angry inside and at times want to cuss her out yet ended up doing that inside my head. lol

I was only 20 when I had my first child & still pretty young myself.

I ignored it and there are still days when we visit I heard stuff I don't agree with. I was so angry when my inlaws begged and begged me to let my daughter who was not even 1 spend the night with them. I was breastfeeding and there was no way I'd do that. They kept it up & I finally gave in at age 3. I couldn't part with her for one night till then. It's just crazy in my mind to let a baby spend the night away from home. Yet my sister in laws think nothing of it. I hear all the time how the newest baby not even 3mts will spend the night. (sigh)

It is tough when you can't understand your family. Have you talked to your boyfriend about this? Let him know how you feel. When they talk in Spanish can you joke about it? Say something like "I'll just wait till you say my name." Bill Cosby did that on his tv show when his wife & her friends would talk Spanish. He'd say he was just waiting to hear his name.

I hope this helps. You are a not alone. Did you ever watch I Love Lucy? She goes through this when her husband's mom visits. She doesn't know a word of Spanish and it is funny seeing her try to talk to her mother in law who doesn't speak english.