Problem with my babys fathers family!?

Question

His family is full of drama they all live, eat and breathe drama. I seriously can't stand anyone in his family except for maybe 2 people, his sister and his uncle everyone else I don't like and they don't like me. My son spent the past couple of days at his fathers house and lastnight when I picked him up the first thing out of his mouth was "Grandma said your a hoe". I didn't feel like saying anything to my ex at the point because it was late and I was tired so when I was driving home I was asking my son where did he go what things did he do etc He said we went to T's house and everyone over there kept saying mean things about me and Daddy didn't say anything to anyone he just laughed, he also told me that Grandma said he better not get with no white girl like Daddy did because white girls are all trouble. My son is 4 and I do not want him growing up to be a disrespectful gangbanger! How do I put an end to this nonsense?

Answer 1

I would nicely talk to the father about it.  Also explain to him that if he doesn't keep him away from those people or set them straight then you are within your rights to petition the court for "supervised" visits.....See how he likes that... i bet he will open his mouth to his family REAL quick!

Answer 2

Simple.  Make it a rule that anyone who wants to visit with your son has to come to your house to do it.  The ones who don't like you won't come, and the ones who do and spend decent time with your son without bashing you will come over.  Let your son know that the things his Grandma said are not nice, and that just because some people make comments like that, it doesn't mean they are true.

Answer 3

I would go back to the courts and demand he only have supervised visits.

Answer 4

HAHAH! i am in the exact same situation, except for i am 34 weeks pregnant. My fiance's family is NUTS. They are all full of drama. And my fiance doesn't stick up for me either but knows his fam is nuts. really all you can do is sit back and laugh at them, and if they are teaching your son those types of things i would tell them if they want to see your son  that they can visit at your house. that is already my rule, and my son is not even born yet. You can't let the family treat you badly behind your back, and put things into your sons head. You are the mom and you have a right to stop that. Completely banning them from your son would cause even more drama so just let them know that if they want to see him it has to be on your time. Not theirs.

Answer 5

DONT HAVE YOUR CHILD AROUND THEM HE/SHE MAY ADAPT TO THEIR HABITS... GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

Well If I were you I would talk to them. As an mature adult that I know you are. If they get ignorant end the conversation and don't  allow him to go back over there until you get a lawyer. That really doesn't make any sense for grown women and men to act like that around a kid. You need to continue to let your son know that the way the talk and act isn't acceptable. I would definitely get a lawyer and until then don't allow your son to go back there if it continues. Good Luck! Remember some people are just ignorant

Answer 7

Oh sweetie I feel ya!  I have a six year old and a two year old.  I would go to court and file for soul custody, end the non sense that way, if they are going to hurt his feelings and call you names, there is NO reason for him to be over there

Answer 8

Wow, you need to talk to your Ex-husband about it soon. Does he really want his son learning to be racist and disrespectful, especially towards you his mom? I wouldn't let my kid go over there if that's what he is going to come home saying, but I have a feeling that you aren't going to be able to change his family. Too bad they see you that way.

Answer 9

You say you don't want your child to grow up without a father, yet you're willing to let him grow up without a grandma or aunts & uncles because they're such a negative influence. Well, the same rule applies. Can't you see that he's just as bad as the rest of the family? He should not allow them to speak about his child's mother in front of him like that! It will create a situation that is out of control! Let me predict the future for you...

Soon, his family's (and his) attitude towards you will rub off on your child and you will gradually lose any respect that you have until he does not obey you at all. Why should he when grandma and even daddy continually tell him how ridiculous and worthless you are??? Things at home and at school will fall apart. This will result in you coming down harder on him and having to discipline him more often, which will only drive him to want to spend more time at daddy's. At daddy's, everything's more fun and people are always laughing (yeah, at YOU)! He'll be nearing his teens by this point, too, which will only make him idolize All-Things-Dad. He may even insist on living with him full-time and you will have lost him forever. Eventually, your fear of him turning to gangs may very well come true. I hope I'm wrong about all of this. Better yet, I hope you're smart enough to make your move NOW while your child is still young.

I would move far, far away from all of those people. If your child's father wants to see the baby badly enough, he will just have to move closer to you, which I seriously doubt will happen.

Answer 10

I would cut off contact with those people. That kind of talk in front of a child is completely unacceptable. They need to have some class and I'm afraid if you let your child stay around them he won't have any.

Answer 11

Confront the father. Confront the grandmother. Inform them that if they can't provide a stable environment (free of bashing people) that your son will not be allowed back.

Answer 12

I would say something to your ex without your son around. Tell him that it's not funny and that you don't want your son thinking it's funny to disrespect his mother or any female. If that doesn't work then tell your ex that you have to take it to court and ask for supervised visits since no one can act like an adult. Regardless, stay strong girl and don't let these cowards break you down!! Good luck

Answer 13

If i was you, i would be extremely offended and i would probably personally call my ex's mother or even just my ex and tell her what my son had just told me. I would also tell her that if this behavior continues i will make sure my son isn't around her or anyone teaching him that bad behavior.